Thursday, August 27, 2009

Personal development updates

Having read 2/3 of the Celestine Prophecy, despite knowing nothing of its origins, the fact it corresponds with my own life quite unlike most of the other spiritual books I've read tells me quite a lot in itself. Mainly, as it says, science is not as we think. How on earth can life clearly be guided if everything is random as we are led to believe? So just knowing this and watching them all consciously raises our vibration, eventually leading to evolving to our next level. My life however, although guided in places, hasn't actually changed. My being is still as sensitive as before and just have a little hope that because there is clearly a guiding force it could guide me out of the shit eventually.

The shit is there to partly teach, but as I noticed at work (OK one hour but I was working) today it's a lot nicer to climb a mountain by small steps than try too hard and hurt yourself? You get there either way but the cost is a lot greater if you overdo it. So the guidance is towards something, and the first change I've been aware of is I'm no longer in doubt I am a teacher and know exactly how and why. Thank god I'm qualified as otherwise I'd both disbelieve my qualifications (although intuition requires none) and never get paid for it (oh, I'm not). But I could be. And see the yawning gaps in people's knowledge that I'd be reckless not to fill when I can, no different from helping anyone else in trouble, whether they need a jack for their car or an explanation for why they don't need to argue. And the teaching lasts forever as you are giving people something to keep, and it costs you nothing and you doble the knowledge each time you share it. Of course you can tell thousands for one to accept it, but it works one soul at a time as I well know.

I have predicted news before, and a year later when little happened left it alone, but another year or two passed and over half my quite unlikely predictions came to place, including Woody Allen's relationship and surrounding accusations. Not so unlikely but many others were. Now if I can harness my intuition to see where the guidance is going that in itself may guide me to it. If that makes sense. As the guidance has recently combined with my intuition, saying 'Streetview Carshalton' and also Southwark, which got me my latest few old road signs as soon as I aimed there, I'd like to go advanced and see if I can call this up at will now.

Well the book has returned (with some patience) my ability to see auras after many years, and although my list of what I'd like to change may well be beyond anything to do, and for a start would like someone important to recognise and use my teaching. Now if I can reconnect with the energy I was well aware I was missing then basically that would be the end of my problems as I'd no longer need to rely on events for pleasure. That's only my existing view of enlightenment, but the book describes it far better than the advaita loss of individuality. To me that is quite easy to do, you just see who you are before you start thinking about it, and all it is is awareness plus the movement of the sensory inputs. No person (can you see yourself looking ahead?), identity (you need to think to remember who you are) but so bloody what? I can enter that state where I'm gone and there's just awareness and activity but is identical to how I am with the identity. Connecting to divine energy makes more sense, or chi/prana to be exact, and of course that feels good as basically without it we're running on batteries and with it the full mains supply.

The major problem with the spiritual progress is the gaps. It doesn't take away the boring moments of every day and lousy chores that must be done, doing nothing as others call my leisure activities is far preferable to boring chores, although they do earn money sooner or later in some cases. That's normal before enlightenment but when you've been guided enough to know it, and then life goes back to how it was before then very quickly it seems it's just the same except you know it can be guided. But that's no practical use, just a knowledge of things working differently to how we think. Technically I suspect everything that happens is part of the guidance once it's started, although we may never know how.

Meanwhile I'm having to be pretty subtle on my other blogs and websites as it's very likely some people I write about will read it or tell them if they know them. So I'll save the naughty bits for here and mention my empty female target diagram. This involves every woman I like, and have Venn diagrammed them all into how unavailable they are (as none are available). The big circle is internet friends and others I knew who moved abroad or too far to see over here. The smaller circle which intersects (as Venn diagrams do) with the large one is the married ones. Now on my list are the top few who either I'd like and could have if available, or are available but out of range. I used to have few limits, a few 70-80 mile very short relationships, and we both agreed within weeks the trouble was more than the benefits. Being 30 years older that is now about 15 miles whatever Gabriel (who travels the world annually for the whole year as that is his thing) says. Even so possible #1 is a few hundred miles away and unless I'd met someone first couldn't expect them to move to London to complete the job. I'd move to a few places but was blown out the last time that happened last year.
The other blew me out consistently for a few years at school but found me online and despite being married and not too far away shows more interest in me than anyone else here. Considering my role as persona non grata for a few years (besides telling me her problems, which is what I was born to do, paid or not) how I've suddenly become her favoured distant target (unless she shows such attention to all her friends online) is a mystery to me and as I doubt her marriage is in any difficulties wonder what I did to become an object of interest after 30 years or so.

My other trick of dropping hints has fallen flat but tested and failed. I won't bother now, I can't pick them up myself so can't really expect others to. Married woman did pick a few up so excepted, but unless she's both changed her opinion of me and decided to be unfaithful she's either acting as a red herring or has developed an interest she probably can't act on. I could tell the other one but far too far away, and there's no one else female wise. Where the guidance is leading I will still have to see, but don't like the usual return to life as it always was before. Where's the hope or benefit in that?

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