Thursday, January 20, 2005


I decided I'd post before I went to bed, and had no idea what I was going to write in advance, hence the title. A stream of Kingsbury consciousness based on the last few days here.
Well, everything is a bit average at the moment. With experience I've learnt to skirt round certain subjects here as some of the people I write about do know my URL and may or may not bother to read it. I presume every blogger has the same problem, so I'll try and convey all the trivia but may have to be a little vague at times, as they say, for illegal reasons (my own variation there).

One bright spot is the flurry of reunions I've had with people I believed were lost, the ones I mentioned last week were the initial telephone calls, which have now begun to be followed with actual meetings. One message I have to say from this experience is please don't write off people you were friends with in a hurry. I'd rather argue with interesting people sometimes than be thoroughly bored with the nice-but-dim. You argue with your family but usually accept them, and if you treat others the same way who haven't qualified as 'best friends', you may well be able to add them to your list of best friends by giving them not one, but many chances. As many of my old friends (up to 40 years plus standing) disappear, I realise the value of maintaining them, and for the first time in my life having to hope new ones arrive to replace the ones who moved on. No, I didn't drive them away, some went abroad, others had housefuls of kids and traded their few single friends for people they had something in common with at their new stage of life, and one day I just woke up and realised there were none left I saw more than once a year. I'll get new ones, no doubt about that, but as I neither go out to work nor study, and only go to a gym the other side of London where people talk once a month it'll take a while, but meanwhile I do whatever is here and available.

Other than that, I have been busier this week work wise (I work form home) as I was last week, and really enjoy seeing my therapy clients. Apart from being on TV, this is the next best job for me but though the benefits for others come from it as well, there isn't enough work to rely on to pay the bills, and there probably never will be. So it's really a part-time hobby and like actors, people only see the good stuff they've done, and rarely know how many weeks or months they kicked their heels between parts. Since my professional qualification I applied for a job every month on average for over a year, and finally got an interview in a school, where we were kept in a group of six together, all day (for the three left after the morning tests) in a staff room curiously reminiscent of the Big Brother house. It was surreal, as we were left to socialise in the room for about 3 hours while each person was picked off for first a task and then an interview including feedback on the task. The only bit that was missing (and I was almost tempted to look for) was the diary room . There was an open-plan kitchen to make tea, just like the BB house, and we sat in padded armchairs and chatted, and speculated about what tasks Big Brother was going to set, and then how we thought we'd done in each of them, and who was likely to get evicted in the lunch break. I was the only man, by the way. As it was, after a very nice table loaded with sandwiches, I was one of the three given their marching orders, and was quite relieved to be free after arriving at the gate over 4 hours earlier at 8.45am, a time I only saw previously when I either hadn't gone to bed yet or someone had died suddenly.

Well, that was hardly a current diary entry, but coming full circle Big Brother is currently on in the celebrity version, and as the end of series party is on a Sunday when I'm normally elsewhere I may not bother to go, and actually feel far less interest in the alleged celebrities than the normal housemates who are just like anyone I could meet normally. I have learned so much about people from watching the programme over the years, and now actually value every new person I meet as I realise how many of the people who arrived on day one and seemed faceless and boring (Scott would be a good example) actually turned out to be pretty interesting once you'd spent 10 weeks getting to know them. Now I value everyone new I meet as I see how everyone you come into contact with becomes part of your life, even if you never see them again. And of course, if I remember them they may remember me. So I try and present myself in the best possible way as I watch some idiots on BB making an arse of themselves and know how easily it could be me doing that if I don't make an effort. That's the end of todays rambling sermon that somehow ended up in BB territory. Maybe that's real life and we're the goldfish in a bowl. It could all be one big joke...

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