Monday, February 11, 2008

A life of holes

I've so far managed to get a quart out of a pint pot over the last week or so, but am wondering how long this can continue. With anything major possible it brings into very clear focus exactly what you do have in life, which is actually very little. Besides a possible newspaper article there are a few small items on the system with an equally small chance of appearing. The holes and no cheese.

This week I only have some trivial photo trips and housework known in advance, and know this could go on for months before I even hear about the article, let alone anything else. So I have a very rough skeleton and am wondering if anything more will ever add to it. Even the small steps that have been made in the last couple of years are just that and haven't changed my life yet.
I've given up trying to make sense of it. Even when you understand certain things it can't affect them. I am mainly a speactator now who does what he's told and searches for activities that are available. Even some silly little things, like when someone starts off incredibly helpful and efficient, offers service within a short time and then vanishes without delivering a thing. I couldn't dream of cutting anyone out of the loop on any project. Even telling someone to wait is enough. But they just don't bother.

Even tonight someone said they were getting a guest on the radio at 10pm when they normally do at 11. I trust my source yet not only was it not at 10 the person hasn't even been mentioned. They waste our time and offer whatever suits them at the time except for the rare decent ones, in every field. But letting people down is so unnecessary. It takes no more effort to correct a mistake in communication than it takes to make it. You can't plan ahead that much but for christ's sake tell people when you muck up. Again I've had three in a bunch doing this which is a communication that seems to have a purpose.

In fact last week I decided although I couldn't understand many psychic powers I would still research them, and the next day I read the same thing in a magazine. That includes coincidences and I will accept at least there is some control over our lives although clear something more than we know has to be causing them. But why make the consequences so dire or depressing? Why let me down three times in a week or so just to make a point I knew already? Some are to learn to handle or tolerate the inevitable problems, but others are just a pain in the arse and appear to teach me nothing besides confirm things do happen in bunches. At least I am confident in healing now as whatever power I channel often works and science can't fathom that one out let alone my brain.

So, another week ahead of impossibilities. And fucking Valentine's day where the toxic waste of the media is unavoidably seen and heard by every person in the world serially unaffected by the message. Another nail in the coffin of the quality of life. I do enjot moaning at least but will be delighted one day when I come here with nothing to moan about. Not for a while I suspect, if ever. Just reading the signs...

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