Friday, November 07, 2008

Digging into the past

Well the week was making the best of my own imagination. I looked at a map to see various new geographic features for photos and have a list that should take a while to get through now despite getting dark at 4pm for the next 4 months. The phase of being ignored has reached new levels, there's now the TV producer (bit of a waste of space from what I've seen), journalist (no power even if she liked my material), two women (no comment needed) and any other bastard I've forgotten including the twat who booked an appointment and made me sit on my tuchus all afternoon waiting for them to arrive. As it's a personal contact a bollocking is in line.

The most basic skeleton is in place to keep occupied for the week ahead, the photo calls I haven't made yet, a check on my business cards usage and the photo list. Plenty more paperwork if it's raining as well. Dull but for anyone within a family a pretty easy life. But alone is just killing time. Again my clients have deserted me after a while of activity, all together as always. I'll never understand that as I don't get BO and try not to fart too much when they're here. Or swear. I leave that to them.
Meanwhile I've been watching a teenager in Sweden doing psychokinesis on Youtube. I've been watching such demonstrations for some time and he also gives lessons how to do it. I find it easy to spot BS (as with the global warming trickery) and also starting to pick up on genuine people as well, like Rachel who just won Big Brother. That was a great endorsement of my judgement as I picked her after less than an hour. Now this guy doesn't seem to have any funny business either, and if I am correct in my intuition then it implies what he is doing is real. The fakes have helped a lot as once you've seen their videos with hidden hairdryers, magnets and all other amateur magician props, someone who seals an object under a bowl and still gets it to move leaves little opportunity to fake it. Bear in mind it's not a professional digital video that can be manipulated easily, but a home video by a kid in his bedroom. I continue to follow the progress.

I've said before another reason I blog is while most people come home to talk about their day, besides a few tenants who were like the exorcist in most cases I have come home to an empty house for 14 years. Every aspect of negativity I emanate is solely from that as it would for anyone who lived in an impersonal area with no community life or decision to live as a monk. My times were on holiday every year in Devon where although we could and did go out there was enough to do within walking distance to stay there for a month and have enough to do. All the activity of a year in Finchley where I lived was crammed into those visits, and half my friends met there. I was always surrounded by friends (except when they went home before me) and family (three generations sometimes) and can easily contrast the best with what I don't have now. I could also perform as it was a music holiday, and although not my priority still played keyboards (and sang once) for various parties and a couple of small concerts for the electronic music workshop. I even have a programme somewhere with my name on it. And the women there were both intellectual and attractive.

Looking back, besides many I was in love with at the time, sadly only a few were mutual, I didn't have the same record there as I did at home for some reason and tended to get the last resorts. I did meet my first girlfriend there who was top class, another years later but was too big an age gap to go anywhere at the time, and she lived there which stopped it in its tracks anyway. There was the German film star (now not then) who being 8-9 at the time was only a friend, but could still see the quality even then. She hasn't changed that much considering as there are plenty of current photos about. I'd have carried on going if I had anyone to go with, but by 1989 everyone else was married and going abroad with their new families and I was reduced to hanging out with teenagers. No one since to return with or I may still have met someone there, albeit from the other side of the world (Los Angeles, Botswana, plus a couple of failures from France and Italy at least) but plenty from London as well. Nothing like that here though besides one of my schools, and I was kicked out there after 2 years...

So I soldier on within the environment I've been given and it's been a bloody long time since anything good happened. Besides none of the important people replying, all the business attempts have got nowhere either and barely any research. Business as usual, but for how long?

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