Talking to myself

This is actually an exercise to see if writing about things will open the door to allowing any new ideas in, as well as organising my thoughts. I have a free week ahead and few ideas, plus it might snow and keep me indoors. The current options are.

In: Watch videos
Finish spare room
Tidy dining room
Phone calls
Send off my annual psychotherapy forms
Write my next article
Do my next painting

Out: Eye test
Cemetery cleaning visit
Car service

Of course those are in between TV programmes and normal internet activities. I also take photos and videos when light but again limited by darkness and snow so not planning a lot this week. This is the bare skeleton, the rule is normally if tomorrow is covered I needn't go beyond, but although I've been reasonably busy and free for a month or so feel the potential is running down and wanted to see if there was anything I may have missed.

So far nothing has come to me, my current system (normally no more than a handful of distant possibilities) is two articles awaiting decisions, normal work payments which don't really count as shouldn't be uncertain but still nice when arrive, and my latest photo prints which are also not uncertain. The most uncertain now the three witches (in a nice way...) blew me out on Friends Reunited is someone from my drama classes I wrote to on Facebook yesterday so will give that a few days to mature, and that's about it. The only reason I need to make plans like this is I live alone and the old regulars I visited have either left the country or died besides my parents. So more planning is required until someone arrives in my life to replace the spaces left by the previous shift.

So an opportunity to use the two methods from Abraham-Hicks, pivoting, ie looking at the good, and requesting, which is calling in the events as I choose. So to look at the good even if I have nothing to do outside I can watch all the videos queued up, tidy the house completely and see if I can get any visitors, as well as the phone calls. Sadly the old friend I called after hearing on the radio didn't return my message so can fuck right off if she doesn't want to catch up after maybe 15 years. I can also Streetview whatever few roads remain in case more old road signs are waiting to be discovered, they do keep turning up but the roads on the map are more or less covered now. As for creation the list could fill the server memory, but will list the main large and small aims, as if no one knows. I don't think it matters how big the aim as all miracles (as these would be) are equal at that end, only we grade them for size:

A local friend and girlfriend, an article in a newspaper, a programme on terrestrial TV, living back in the area we used to, finding anything I thought I'd lost (the old road sign photo negative was one albeit very distant), find an old friend who actually wants to see me again, get some more work on the old website I was on, get paid for writing, get an apology or three from some of the people who owe me them, fix some of the issues in the world such as proving the global warming graphs are fixed, seeing Al Gore on trial for fraud, getting the truth out on aliens, getting manufacturers to offer old style cars as well as computer designed abortions, and of course my own enlightenment.

Having got two of the old road signs like this as well as fixing a major business issue I am already gaining confidence, as none were guaranteed by any means and also the larger end of the miracles from this side. It's no less of a miracle to be given £5 than £5000 really as if you call either up they were added to what would have happened otherwise. Like dreams, nothing is less likely there and it seems we are only manipulating something of a similar nature.

I reckon laying out my plans clearly is like an architect or scriptwriter, they are now clear and if I can shift the next short and long term issues (having done a few already) once I get one or two which not only bring pleasure but change my life for the better I'll be one step closer to how I'd prefer things to be. And if it works maybe an article of the journey.

Reincarnation is not for me

I talk about me needing an IQ test to try and get in Mensa but the whole world has continued to fail theirs, as the latest report this week claims '2010 hottest year ever'. Yes, of course, and I've got the biggest dick in my house and next door. As there are no other men there. But I was telling the truth, they have taken a single report from GISS, America's version of 1984's Big Brother (good is bad and bad is good etc), while even the UK Met. Office are currently struggling to get their own data to look the same. But it's a lie. Since records began is a little closer, but the actual part they left out is 'since satellite records began'. That is 1979, half way through nature's cyclical warming phase after a small ice age so every few years and every decade will indeed be the warmest if you're on a warming curve. Were it true. In fact virtually every site uses their own data and none of it actually agrees. It's not science, it's fixing the system as most people don't believe it's possible and fewer still can be arsed to check. Nothing more needs doing to demonstrate those involved in creating global warming are no different from the Kray twins as they are indeed killing old people from hypothermia as they can't afford the energy taxes, and third world farmers starving since their land was taken for biofuel. It's not a simple con as people are having their lives ruined directly.

Back to my world, I wrote about energy phases, and the next night I played and won my hourly guess the word game, and the next one. Only one person's ever got three and wondered if I could be the second, and did, and although it was bedtime had to stay up an hour just in case, and indeed I won the fourth as well. The energy was open and allowed me to be in my own dimension where I was the only person playing for that period. I'll be surprised if anyone gets four in a row again, it's possible but however long we've been playing (this year maybe?) it's been on every single hour and unless I missed a scoreboard don't think it's happened before. I got the photo printed with the old sign and as it was a proper darkroom print was as clear as the original unlike my scan, so in perfect focus thank goodness albeit small and no legible writing. But it is a proper photo and not a blurry mess like the compute attempt thank goodness.

Now it gets dark at 4 half the week I can't get out in time to take photos, and short of visiting the local friends who don't exist have gone home and extended the radio/TV/computer time by a few hours. Three people who arrived on Friends Reunited all ignored my messages, one as I dumped her is entitled to, one should know better and the third, although wouldn't remember me from 1965 could have made an effort. The only chore done last week was fixing my camera, the cemetery also closes too early to get to easily and do the job before getting shut in (besides not having the internet it may not be that different though...) but went to the museum at last and kept fairly busy. I haven't a clue what the week ahead holds, let alone tomorrow. And whatever methods I've been shown they don't work easily. Do any? I do have two prizes now which have made all the difference, but made me realise there are three types of achievement, those that are nice but don't change your life at all, those which only change your life when relevant, like having a new qualification but only benefit when using it, and those which shift you entirely like getting married. Sadly almost none of the prizes I've had for ages do anything to change my life, the best being I no longer need to worry about finding an old red triangle sign which was going to be a problem as the next closest were 60-70 miles away. There are a matching pair in the backwoods I don't have now but can't see myself doing a journey I once would have without thinking. The current car's only for town use really and I'm 20 years older.

So it's time life cheated and allowed me to gain with no pain. I expect many people in my position would have cracked in the past while others wouldn't have noticed, I'm probably around the middle as although I've coped somehow I have suffered enough for what I'd consider a lifetime. I'd see enlightenment as the only escape as until then we are part of the illusion of good and bad and are raised or lowered constantly as a result. I'm certainly prepared to leave that ride as the highs don't outweigh or compensate for the lows and it's not really shown itself as adequate for me at least. Telling a teenager success is round the corner and just needs effort and patience, but at 50? The business side is long covered as that's within all our scope, and fixed the majority of that in the 80s. But pleasure? I expect the Buddha realised very quickly that it was so hard to choose that he decided to find a way to bypass the whole system. As it worked for so few people they added reincarnation as an excuse to string it out for thousands of years, but I'm only interested in this lifetime thank you.

Energy phases demonstrated

Today has been one of those days where the energy was twisted. Nothing I tried happened, nothing I planned happened but besides being blocked on the word quiz I play most hours all day all the other plans simply diverted my activity rather than blocking it. But the main point is that the energy was the same in every aspect of my life the whole day from start to finish, which although I'm fully used to still surprises me in its mathematical consistency. That's the message today as although the details are my diary part the overall picture is sheer connectedness as each area happened with the same distorted and partly constricted frequency.

It began when I called the cemetery as I'd finally run out of alternatives but to clean the gravestone. It closed before I'd have got to it so had to put it off, and yesterday my mother told me the local history museum had a car park, and with no other ideas went there instead. Being free it was a good way to pass an afternoon and the postcards were free as well to bring back for the wall. Then I went to have my camera memory card wiped again, but they no longer had the cards or cameras to wipe them, or the bit that fell off the battery so eliminated that and went home and decided to check if the card could be wiped via the usb cable which indeed it was and now working again. The word game works out a word every hour with more clues every few minutes. I've done well since the weekend but today had a few words on the list someone else entered before I did. Not once but three times, and we all win a few on the same day and not for a few afterwards. Again, the energy opens with a win and can stay open for a day or two, it's there for all to see.

No one can see these phases in advance, and I am not yet able to alter the energy to choice. Tomorrow the cleaner's coming at 3 (officially) so short of a local photo trip have little scope I can think of. I started my phone calls yesterday and have reached the point of leaving one message. I've probably completed my old photo checks with the scanning of the final negatives, and now trying to pin down some photos I didn't label. Two have been identified as Beckenham and the rest are only roughly located as yet.
I'd like to have some control over tomorrow (as we all would), and maybe the fact I'm learning these phases affecting them may be next. I've been shown how and will work on it, and if I can then one by one my problems could melt away.

Tomorrow is free anyhow albeit indoors until 3, I'll have a think where I haven't taken photos within 15 minutes before it gets dark at 4, too late and cold for the cemetery and a miracle if I bother to get my eyes tested but if bored enough and not too tired (I do still suffer from time to time) I may even try it. I can't even think of any other chores left now, possibly as I've done them all, but can darn my cardigan, get the last bits of the shelves in the spare room, make more phone calls, possibly even meditate, and check the lists I make to see what else has been saved up for a free day. This week I am still looking for the grace, last week was totally as planned plus the old road sign turning up, which covered all required grace in one go albeit a partially legible one. This week has so far been working my way through a list with little interruption to stop me or bonus to help me, the nature of grace is random so can't call it in. It may well have been guided as I am getting more used to seeing the patterns, but would still wonder if and when I'd ever make it or graduate. No one wants to retire or qualify when they're too old to make full use of it, and besides joining one of the schools that make their students meditate for hours a day can think of little more I can do for any aspect of my own growth. That means I've done both my best and not avoided any extra actions that may have added to my success. It's easy to accuse people lacking anything of being lazy or careless but you don't have that sort of approach after a law degree requiring the ultimate level of work. Not in itself but for me in the subjects I didn't find easy, which was about half of them. Going to hour long crowded video shows every week for over a year with claustrophobia isn't being careless either, basically if I know something is important and possible I go for it. If I appear not to be it's only because I don't think it is, and even in something as mundane as job applications compared I'd done more than average as they told me so in my interviews. So I reckon I've hardly skimped on the input, and fully deserve any output. My effort now tends to be concentrated when I'm inspired, the energy opens, the ideas flow, I produce a collection and then use it up till the next time. Now what happens to those products is partly my own marketing of them and partly the choice of those I offer them to. Some will always win and lose like the articles, but all you can do is not give up and keep producing and offering. I know when the energy opens I get a bunch of clients, a bunch of letters, phone calls, money, whatever, including related problems. That's been clear for over 20 years and only recently started being more for my benefit than random. But that flow has only just begun and started to happen. Most changes happen gradually but this is taking decades!

Looking for God

Today I will actively look for God in my life. The guidance is presumably the first clue as nothing else could be responsible for arranging all of life to fit for one person. Yesterday I was typing and they said the same phrases I was writing twice within a minute. That happens to quite a few people I know as well. I appear to be being made to face my final fears- death, destruction, all that shit. One by one situations I believed (as there was not enough information to know otherwise) may be extremely dangerous are being forced on me to show me they are not without the need for any expert advice. I don't think there are many left and maybe with them out of the way there won't be much left to bother me or get in the way of my progress.

Also of course by writing here on a subject offers the chance of inspiration to work out additional examples- today wasn't special on the surface- but for example once I'd repaired my cassette copier to send a tape to Australia I recorded it and being on an old tape wasn't full volume, and didn't want to use 5 minutes on a new C90 and a new C60 turned up at the front of a rack and took the copy perfectly. There was only a few minutes to wait in the post office, and got the rest of my shopping done at the same time. I've finished searching my old negatives and as well as the most prized photo of the local road sign I wanted, albeit barely legible in the distance, I've found many photos I'd never seen before as the chemists never printed them. I have run out of ideas for tomorrow and beyond, although the same chores need doing. Last week I wrote to three more people from Friends Reunited and can only eliminate them as a-holes as none replied. I started my phone calls tonight but no one was in but will keep trying.

I'd create if I was god (which is basically how it works anyway, we gradually take over consciously so the crap we got before is under control and organised the way we'd prefer it) a way I could still avoid all the stress I can no longer cope with but a solid social and family life, with no need to worry about the people I did have expecting me to go to places I couldn't. A few are fairly well trained now but very thin on the ground. I agree I shouldn't get any prizes without earning them, but the years of study and experience I have put in took me till 46 to get on TV and 50 to be published. I think the previous effort would now be used to justify any career improvements, I hardly need to go to college again or do more fieldwork. I was asked to do a lecture but 120 miles away, not good for an agoraphobic really. I would do so in London as long as it was this side of it, but can't wreck my health for anything. I would change a few things externally as well- it's a bloody mess and as Marx and others have observed, extremism can't last forever as the momentum runs out and the opposition water it down. Global warming's dark side is now turning slowly to face the earth and one by one every aspect I've said was the case is becoming proved. Of course it had to as it was based on no more than a plan to dominate the world by the UN and cheating the data to do so. The graphs are so crude anyone in primary school would question how they all change when adjusted from flat to sloping, and questions are now being asked at higher levels but the taxes keep coming. I'd speed things up a bit as the people may wake up suddenly when the first wave notice they've been had all along. Once they turn their backs their friends will feel they have no reason to hang on and follow until only the extreme nutters are left and be ignored as they always should have been. Today the nutters are in charge and listened to by the media and governments worldwide, what was delusional is now mainstream. I can't be bothered to put up with that much longer, I don't like being in a world where more people are insane than not and it's a struggle to find those who haven't been infected.

I'd also free the energy in the places I'm working on, apart from being sent photos of the odd road sign I can go and get and being asked for an article most other things have needed far more work to get returns than they should have. In fact the majority of work appears to have created nothing at all. I've never averaged any more clients a week since my practice began, I've spent a fortune for me trying to spread the word but still only get work from the official directory. I do pay the bills anyway but wonder why I can't get a few more like the others appear to who do no more advertising than I do. And my meditation barely seems to do a thing most of the time, you'd have thought after 13 years and combining new methods at other times the energy built up would push things along a bit but no. And official requests and decisions would go more easily. I'm not unreasonable and even offer to pay myself for some projects which would harm no one and benefit many. Besides allowing me to spend two hours painting an old road sign I've had little or no help from the others. And my sales of art and photography have been diabolical, the books are expensive so understandable, but the paintings are not and gathered dust until finally returned to me. And the people I dig up from the past could yield a few who were actually both local and wanted to see me again. I haven't thought if any elsewhere would have if they were still local but I'm only asking for one or two. I've only seen two altogether from my past, one now up north and the other abroad. I can't believe the fact they all chose to put their details up that avoiding any contact with all but their favourites is the same for everyone.

I think my clairvoyance is improving in certain areas, I can pick up words and the like for quizzes pretty clearly now, which has been from constant practice. If that can now be expanded to cover other areas it could guide me into more fertile areas than I'm searching currently. I am clearly being communicated with somehow as I can't go and look for some of these items as the actual words and answers aren't even revealed before the quizzes end. That means someone has to be able to pick them up before they are known (by going outside the timeline) and communicating them to me. If I can pick up anything from outside my own field then I should be able to open that channel a lot more. There is a lot of potential but as yet barely consciously used. I am aiming for more now in every way, the energy has to loosen for me.

Backwards and forwards

Before I carry on I've seen another little synchronicity today, they all count if the odds are long enough rather than the actual content. I always call LBC radio with news stories as they were the only place (Clive Bull anyway) where you could decide what to talk about. Recently Clive has been apparently setting an agenda so left a couple of messages asking if I could call about the IPCC admission they are after all an economic redistribution centre and not environmental. Like we needed telling. I'll personalise that, like I needed telling- we did need telling as those who accept they are doing a necessary job somehow can't see that huge taxes and carbon trading do nothing but that very action. I turned on and what's he talking about? CO2 reduction! They must mention climate less than once a month and the night I'm determined to spread a story no known media have touched with your cock let alone their own it was my duty (who else offered?) to break it. I covered that plus the fact that doubling CO2 gives a paper rise of 1C, the rest is down to unknown feedback which may either not exist or actually be negative as the natural sinks may well prevent any imbalance over time.

Other than that now I've got the chores out of the way I'm still free- a month now and used it pretty well. Getting dark at 4 means besides a bit of late shopping I get in and stay in. I visit my parents (separate sides of London) at weekends and often have the ex over once in the week, and the rest is up to me. I've written three articles so far and suspect one from the remaining two alive will be used, doubling my total if so. Of course the more you are out there the greater the chances of being spotted and asked for more. Being down to chores after filming last week then I've got the gravestone duty, eye test and car service remaining. None urgent but all need doing. I also sent three new Friends Reunited messages last week- an ex I dumped, a friend of a friend and someone from nursery school. One I can understand blowing me out to return the compliment, one as we'd last have met at five (didn't stop Gary whose parents still live round the corner after 50 years) and the other was a bit of a bitch anyway so we never really got on, but as her very nice sister wasn't there I wrote to her instead. Like she'd work that out. Her sister got a boyfriend when I was about to make my first move decades ago so I quietly left the scene.

I did of course get the very blurred picture of the sign on my corner at last last week, the only extra in a well planned system. Two new tour videos and lots of other photos. I wore myself out in only an hour cutting the bushes in my late grandma's and scanned in loads of other negatives which showed a small percentage of all had never been printed by the chemists. I'd never seen any before and will be getting them all printed soon. Socially I am trying to rekindle old names as much as current as what's current has more or less dried up and reached a limit. I haven't got round to any of the few phone calls not of a business nature but probably start this week in case they think I don't want to talk to them, but unfortunately with many having to come out to each as an agoraphobic before we make any arrangements makes it into more of a chore than a pleasure. If you can't do most things they can there's no point keeping quiet as once you've turned down every offer they either think you don't want to see them or work it out anyway. I told one who said she didn't mind but wasn't into sex (any level whatsoever) so no fucking use there, whichever way you say it. Unfortunately she's also the most attractive by far although lacks proportionally in the mental department. Not attractive and single for nothing of course. The others are very average and fairly old (although doesn't look it) and above average but peculiar. They're both divorced and one moved too far to bother travelling to (bearing in mind my issues) and doesn't drive herself. We went out for a couple of weeks already and only argued half the time as she is well known for. So I keep looking up old people from the past who aren't faulty in some way, or weren't in 1965 or 1980 at least.

I don't know if I'll ever 'make it' in any of the ways I'd like- in fact I'd made it living at home besides not being able to keep a decent girlfriend, I was qualified, had a decent job and just needed a woman to complete the picture. Then I had to move as it wasn't my own house, then lost my job, then lost my best friend abroad and pretty well unmade it as a result. I have however added a new method to the system from the video of Louix Dor Dempriey, of speaking to God directly and finding it directly that way. Don't work alone, ask the boss. Strangely that is the first thing since meditation that seems to cause a shift of any sort within me, however vague or subtle, that tells me he probably knows what he's talking about. Unlike much of the pretty technical and heartless teaching I've mainly come across, his message God is love and you can have it all is what I always imagined enlightenment to be, not this crap that you aren't real however accurate that may be. But simply looking and seeing all there is is awareness plus what is within that, but no individual behind it (direct experience, it's true) is pretty much noticing the obvious to me and doesn't cause any realisation beyond a technical discovery my personality is no more than retrieving data from a disk when required. I here and now am not the disk, I use it to remember things when I need to and the rest of the time I am gone. Thoughts and sense input passes by but no person there to witness them, just the senses and thoughts within the awareness. Big bloody deal. No peace and love being aware of that, I am aware of that, so what?

So maybe the fact I can disappear (I was never here at all, the illusion disappears) means I've got the first step to enlightenment but it's made no difference here. Talking to God may do, as we are designed to feel good and bad and know which is which. Enlightenment has to be about feeling good, no person there to feel it but all can tell which is which with no subject to do so, there's crap is a genuine observation and with or without an illusory me it's still crap. Louix appears however to have the simple key to unlock the real blockage to our growth of consciousness.

How I'd plan it

I am going to see if I can fill in the gaps in my guidance now, by imagining it all (see the rules in the Celestine Prophecy) and seeing where it should go ahead if complete. It has worked now, using the medium of road signs which I collect, and the latest was to aim me towards a negative where I'd sent the prints off at the time as were evidence for a road accident. That was the first one I knew and missed, and although the result was tiny and fuzzy you could at least recognise which one it was. I am hoping, possibly even guessing I am heading for an eventual spiritual growth- the lessons I've had over the years have been as much as anyone not actually living in an ashram, and to get nothing out of it besides the ability to tune into people and places to pick up random bits of information seems a bit like poor value. The guidance, rather than making me actually feel good (I should have such luck) has given me material objects, no people yet but helped my collections and done other small things since which I am pretty clear are part of it.

So what could it do ahead? I have my list. My career, unpaid or otherwise, in the media- so far I've really created the lot quite well myself but am hardly either a household name or earning a penny from it. A little nudge in the right direction would of course help there, as the breakthrough to a national paper or TV station is the only thing that would complete that job. People are next, as my friends have moved and spread around so I barely ever see them (OK , I see the ones left over who are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but no one should be left to resort to that, so one or two around regularly would make a huge difference. Needless to say my own spiritual development would make me feel better whatever else was going on. I've put together a huge collection of methods from Youtube and products bought thereof, and Louix Dor Dempriex seems to have the trick, as it's the only thing I've ever felt something happen whatever my mind thinks of what I'm being told to do. The others I learnt make sense but diddly squat to show from them yet. Then the losses and loose ends. I want to live back in the area I used to, the most expensive in the world (no, I don't need to exaggerate), get back more of the things I missed if possible including my IQ test results (old or repeated if necessary) so I can finally join Mensa on their new rules, find anything else I could have had like the original sign photo but hadn't yet located, and anything (or anyone) I thought I'd lost.

Considering I now have a more or less complete old road sign photo collection, four TV speaking appearances, one published article, every possible known meditation method in case they actually do something eventually, and most of my finances sorted out (except for the big move of course) some things are covered but there's so much more left. And I have the recognised methods of manifestation I seem to have got to work a couple of times which will continue as part of the system to use, and really need to sort out the anxiety so I'm not scared of disaster whenever the slightest thing sets me off. There are very good reasons for this combined with my existing condition- where what you fear the most actually turns real you have the imagination turning into reality so the world is no longer at all a safe place. I'm covering one area by one, eliminating the first items on the list and hopefully if I end then there'll be none left and I'll be free of the monsters at last. It is mainly based on lack of information so until you know whether something's dangerous or not you tend to assume it is. Better safe than sorry, and having to test every single area. As Louix says, enlightenment is when love takes over from fear, so if I get rid of enough fear (I only need it where one dominates the other, not 100%) I will make it. How many do is another story, but the less fear I have the better regardless.

So I'd end up with the woman, friends again, living where I wanted to, famous, stable and maybe even enlightened. Maybe if I get some more messages in dreams, random (apparently but not) information and news that helps and basically divide the work half by me and half by outside as both need to work together to win. All is connected and if it all fits together then things happen the right ways. But less pain please.

I'm still here

It seems pretty certain that spiritual growth involves many tests- we are sent our worst possible experiences to see if there's any way we can deal with them better. I don't know if I am but they turn up regularly like the cat being sick while you're watching TV or having dinner and ruins whatever else you're doing. I have no cat to do that now but life has an infinite number of variations and all need clearing up one way or another as most don't disappear on their own. I doubt we need to become immune to everything before we can become enlightened- even Jesus claimed to lose his faith somewhat on the cross (his father had forsaken him, odd considered he already volunteered and knew the ending at the time).

So this week has gone to plan so far with one bonus, the first old road sign I knew for 40 years without taking its photo appeared in the distance on one of my negatives I was scanning in case there were more without prints (how does that happen?). The symbol is obvious but blurred but no writing is visible and the enlargement makes it look like it was taken underwater, but I now have a record of it, just. Otherwise I did my first tour video for ages after many requests yesterday, and cut the bushes at my late grandma's before it looked too overgrown. The news continues to be the same mixture of white noise I totally ignore, plus the odd peak or trough of either utter bilge like the next royal wedding- when they care about what I do I'll care about them- or the odd good news like the Republican climate enquiry. But most of life is my own and not affected by others unless they make laws which do directly such as raising energy taxes. It's the old exam results scenario, what my friends get doesn't affect my own performance, so if I fail one it doesn't make me feel any better that someone else has. What crap and shit happens elsewhere really isn't my concern, all these kidnaps and murders from down the road to across the planet are part of life since the stone age, and are sadly no more news than how many sheets of toilet paper my grandma used, yet we got to hear both.

I hope I am in a transitional period though, as I am seeing a mix of the old disasters and doom and new guidance towards success. Maybe I can deal with some old loose ends but still profit from the new direction while I am doing so. It certainly looks like that but the bad stuff feels just as bad as it ever did regardless. I feel I was guided to the negatives last night, I'd been checking up where all my photos without captions were taken with the advent of Streetview, and then thought I'd check the final set of ones that may turn up from unprinted negatives, and chose the right pack almost immediately. As it was on the corner of my road I would have expected a photo of it randomly but till then it wasn't showing. If it's dry tomorrow (it has been for three days and now stopped again) I'll either do my bike trip or the other video, and so far not missed seeing anyone besides the builder working next door who just repaired my garage door for nothing. I still phone the radio every week or so as I did tonight, I'm not famous yet as you can't see my face on radio and the best I do is when I see people I haven't seen for a while and they say they heard me. I even tweeted a new arrival on twitter who listens and lives nearby in case I can make a new friend somehow.

I've done another sweep on Friends Reunited, and thank goodness new people are still joining. I sent three more messages and normally get about a third back although not all have a clue who I am. One was in nursery school with me, and as I was so bored at home my parents let me go just before I was three and I remember as much there as I do in primary. Imagine catching up with someone you haven't seen since you were both five! There was no actual crumpet involved this time, one was simply an enquiry, one an ex who is now miles away and the third a friend of a friend whose very nice sister got a boyfriend before I could get a chance to try myself. I shouldn't be surprised many don't remember me although a few years in the same class pushes my credibility a bit. Even when one saw a photo of us there he claimed not to remember me. What a wanker.

Anyway, I am one step closer to celebrity this year than last now being published, and two more articles in the system hope that momentum keeps going. I write for pleasure so the more they want the more I will provide. I also keep my list of ambitions and although some do get reached none yet really affect my life besides completing a particular mission, step or business deal. It takes away a problem or stops it getting worse but none yet have actually made it better. That needs people first, and it's no use to just see anyone who's available rather than wait for quality as being with the wrong people is worse than none as they drain you. To have close friends you have to share the same frequency with someone, that is natural and can't be created just because someone's there. The right ones are rare indeed and hung onto for decades before one by one they are diverted by life or distance to occasional meetings. None are cut off but severely restricted compared to the old days. The woman on twitter hasn't replied, I don't blame her as unlike us women get random offers and approaches every day and can easily pick and choose. Anyway, I keep going, catch the odd bullet but am still here.

What could happen?

The rain has just stopped after almost a week so got out and took some photos after a gap not seen for years. I've got two video trips set up for the week now due to popular request, and make a change from photos where I'll have to fill in a few gaps I've missed rather than simply drive further and further into oblivion. And it'll be dark by the time I get anywhere more than 15 miles away anyway till March so won't be wasting my time. I've made a little list for the week and beyond, things inside like phone calls and others including pleasure and obligations like the eye test. At least I won't run out of things to do for a week or more. Now if I could think of anyone who could stay here now the spare room is available that'll help.

Other than that it's a mystery. One from two articles for a major magazine has been turned down, it'll be a month or two before I hear about the other but won't stop now. Of course although I have no one here so use the internet to replace it, I have to do things outside before I can come back and report them. Without real activity the internet won't replace it all. I use streetview to look for road signs and have travelled up to 30 miles to get the photos. I must keep remembering the Abraham-Hicks rules, I am avoiding slipping into crap more now at least, and if I can manifest anything positive I'd call that a true miracle.
Otherwise everything's been pretty quiet. Nothing either way really but if it's OK now then it doesn't really matter, just less to talk about. I will see tomorrow. England are playing a friendly Wednesday night so that's taken care of, the rest is possibly predictable.

The week so far

Today was decided for me- I had to wait for the cleaner to arrive and with the hour's daylight remaining for photography the rain came down as soon as I left the house and went straight back in again. I've arranged a builder to give an estimate for the knackered roof at my late grandma's and caught up on some videos at last and although my latest article was turned down I've got two more in the system and as it's not going to be my first now is not such a big deal. If it's dry I'll get the little jobs I missed so far in the next couple of days and once done will just see what turns up, there's no inspiration or plans left ahead but as I can't plan more than the following day that's already allowed for.

Otherwise besides getting the bed made again in the spare room and a free glasses repair (no reason why not except they charged last time) it's business as usual. Similar routine and no surprises. I must still use the Abraham/similar methods, as you can't see if it works unless you have something to try it on. I hear someone's finally decided to sue Al Gore for fraud, except he probably isn't a victim either of crime or contract misrepresentation so despite having circumstantial evidence can't see a case forming. The forensic accounting and warrants alone would take years, especially as being prepared for all circumstances the money won't be in a safe marked 'loot' but hidden offshore and in many holding companies at a great distance from the man himself. And you can't subpoena the Caymans or Isle of Man where they make their money from secrecy banking. It would take more effort to find his tracks than they spend on investigating (read 'creating') the climate already but a worthy attempt. I won't make a lot of excitement or attention to it though.

I don't think I've actually wasted the week so far anyway- I did the Surrey trip a day late, sorted the spare room out and had my usual visitor yesterday, and will just have to see what's sucked into the current vacuum of interest while I keep on doing whatever is available. It's no longer about effort but efficiency, and got me this far as the effort was put in when I was young enough to have the energy.

Another week 11/2010

Well I've got there (Worplesdon that is) in the end. My timetable is a day behind but unchanged otherwise. The three locations turned up a wooden council sign with a new one stapled on top as the paint had worn off, some hideous copies of old signs and a pair of 'no access' signs which looked right but weren't on poles so may not be nationally issued. But I covered them all in around an hour before the return. No word on the two articles but as I kept them waiting almost a year can't really moan. Besides the inevitable visit from the ex it's just a list of little jobs- car MOT, eye test (I will, honestly!) and camera repairs at Brent Cross (south, the civilised bit). I've had little or no spiritual events for a short while, although I don't believe the influence can go sometimes it seems we are left to sort things out ourselves maybe to see we don't always need outside guidance to win anything. I did win another online quiz today which doesn't often happen so one positive addition although it doesn't actually get me anything besides an entry on my profile and one more towards the 100 wins badge (at 30 though so may be a tough one).

The rule is when the guidance appears to go is look for it, so learning how to improve things myself seems the best reason- I also got an extra session in the gym today as it was on the way back from Surrey so two birds with one stone. And the rotten roof at my grandma's didn't put off the buyers as instead of making their offer that day they withdrew it a few days later so any new visitor will be promised (or receive depending on our progress) a brand new dormer window roof. I've called the radio regularly again for some weeks, it only depends on the subject but climate and related issues have been popular and that's my area. But nothing's wrong and that's the best place to start from. Looking for the positive (rule 2) tells me tomorrow I'm free all day before the visitor, can get at least one shop done as it gets dark too early to bother looking for distant photo trips, and complete the tidying this week although the spare room is ready for use now if needed. And I have hours of videos if it rains. If I'm bored and it's dry I will then visit my grandparent's grave to clean it (the journey takes many times longer than the task) although will have to struggle to get any new photos around there as it's quite a regular journey over the years one way or another.

So the week is free again, I've done a couple of hours work each week the last month or so so paying the basic bills if nothing else and not shrinking too much in the bank. It does seem when one area to collect has run out another opened sooner or later, and I include things I produce as collect items on the CV if I'm on TV or published. I'm still managing to meditate on and off, and can only assume I'd be even worse if I didn't... The anxiety is not good and am still very tired after an hour or two out. That's a physical problem, is improving but not gone yet. It's only really restricting my travel now and having covered most of Britain already over the years (although before digital cameras so was very selective in the photography) as well as a few continents one way or another can hardly complain now as I'm far happier locally where I know. If there was a little community or a few more friends that would complete the job but that is another project.

Ground to a halt?

Not much inspiration, I've been watching twitter to see the two standard reactions to the US election results on climate change, 'The first ever party to deny climate change!!!'. Yes, so fucking what? Meanwhile the rest are bleating on and on about imaginary man made disasters present and future bravely pressing on as if nothing's changed. What a poor bunch of lost souls they truly are.

I had to wait for my trip out to see the end of the British hopes in Formula 1 today, as soon as Lewis Hamilton started crashing that was him out, plus Jenson Button crept further and further behind during the season. Despite forecasts of rain I should make it tomorrow. One problem when you do achieve something is you expect it to keep happening. So when you get days when little or nothing happens you feel let down, plus wanting to read the end before you've got past the second chapter in case something decent may turn out is an automatic reaction when something begins with potential. That's short term like approval for my articles, and long term for the US climate investigations. Not that I believe they can find anything but very nasty dirt as that's all there is. George Soros, after legally crashing the pound and costing Britain billions in the 80s is now out to do it again worldwide, urging the UN on to create a world state in order to tax it out of existence, presumably getting a cut for his effort. And I was thinking Al Gore was behind this but clearly not working for his own purposes. Nasty nasty stuff indeed.

I'm quite happy to have free time ahead still, even if I do nothing (the dark afternoons allow little else) I won't have had too much stress which nowadays is a bonus in itself. Hopefully that will allow for the eye test and sort out the car service soon after. I hope for more and if I get any decent signs tomorrow will be a good start to the week. Where is the guidance now I wonder?

The end of the week (not world)

Unlike last week which was free and pretty hard to fill with any more than the basics I managed a bit more with the similar version this one. After getting a message asking where my promised article was almost a year ago I explained someone else had already used it and wrote two new ones now sent off as replacements once I'd though of something relevant. The spare room is nearly done, the bed is now usable and just a bit of junk left to remove. Otherwise the ex came round as usual on Tuesday and the woman with intentions of marriage yesterday, and in between did some random photo trips and walks as the weather was sunny and warm for November, and the usual shopping.

I've got a sign trip set up for Sunday and anything else remains to be seen. I could do with some more inspiration really- getting a positive on an article will definitely help, but in the short term really have little idea. It gets too dark for photos around 4 now till March, so that will be restricted but the housework benefits as a result although can only be so much of that. I've also been pretty tired since yesterday presumably from the late night catching up with me, as I can't think of any other reason. Presumably my age is showing which we can do little about however much we exercise. An interesting aspect about the new article is presumably by writing about enlightenment although the teachings are not mine if they actually help a single person then I have helped them just as much as an original teacher. Just a practical point.

Anyway, this week was way better than last, but when everything seems exactly the same when you've finished once you run out of ideas it is something of an anticlimax. That can't be lifted by thought or action but wears off sooner or later when you get busy the next day or so. Meanwhile if it takes a year or five if the US climate enquiry does a good job then the world will be off the hook. I am fully aware of a situation where maybe half the population are physically unable to be aware of simple logic as their emotions and trance state have blinded them to anything but the level of fear created by Al Gore. But one thing about hypnosis is it always wears off. I've seen a few scientists who have come round recently, and probably many people have but don't dare to say so as they get such a bollocking from the hard of thinking. But for how long can that last now- they've been caught making up acid ocean stories (it's alkaline) and if they get so carried away they can falsify simple data anyone can find then they are now about to lose it completely. Remember Acid Rain for instance, which Matt Ridley pointed out yesterday fooled him until he found the predictions (as all are) never came true. Two examples of scientists getting it so wrong they should be struck off. At their position they have far higher standards to maintain than everyone else.

Who really knows?

A bit of a list today, mainly to remind myself. I have now written two articles for the second magazine both awaiting approval, so until I get the verdict will not know the future direction of my writing career. I was up till past 4am last night watching the US election result. As expected the Republicans won the lower house but not the senate, but at least should manage to block any crazy green laws for the next two years. I have as much freedom this week as last, and besides seeing the ex girlfriend both Tuesdays (it all counts) am left to my own devices and so far the two weeks mirror each other pretty much the same. I'm not bored so far though so that is the major difference.

Tomorrow and beyond is a totally open book. Besides some dubious old road signs in Surrey for the weekend nothing else is in the diary, I will probably take the bike for a photo of some houses I thought I'd taken years ago and probably have but can't find them, otherwise will just wait and see. Meanwhile I have found the first known official figures (for California) showing a stable temperature and falling sea levels by the NOAA. Some mistake surely? Or was everyone claiming this to be the case elsewhere now suddenly right somehow? They must be as the NOAA basically make the rules everyone else follows. The next question is will the press take this up or just hang about round here as usual and be forgotten about as a result.

I am also doing what every saint and lunatic has throughout history as something that can't do any harm, having little conversations with God directly as so many books I read recommend me to. Why not? I'm definitely clairvoyant and do receive plenty of random information asleep and awake so if I can start communicating with the sources directly whoever they are I should make a trickle into a strong flow. The old 'shortage mentality' where you think 'surely I don't deserve to succeed on anything so important without almost killing myself' only serves as a blockage to success in any field, in fact it's focused effort rather than force that succeeds and about knowledge rather than sheer strength. And remember there's no such thing as a big miracle, they are all the same so may as well ask for the most as it's no harder for a little one like when I wrote 'two years' the radio presenter also said it, than winning the lottery or shagging Patsy Kensit. Think big, hope big and expect big, and if you get big in return you'll soon get used to it it would come easily. I have seen it work at times but have to keep in the zone and not be put off by other crap which always happens around you, maybe not once you get close to enlightenment. I will have to see on that.

Creating something from nothing

There is a long history of get rich quick schemes sold to the masses. The first and most famous is the South Sea Bubble of 1720, where worthless bonds were sold to finance a huge national debt (any similarities spotted already?) which of co...urse ended in tears for all except the few beneficiaries.

Modern examples have been best demonstrated by Enron, who created a form of accounting which used turnover to represent apparent profit, by hiding debts and losses off-balance sheet. This made the company value appear to grow by 750% in four years, encouraging many new people to invest, before the scheme unravelled in 2001 when discovered to be fraudulent.

Bernie Madoff revived the also ancient Ponzi scheme, where a high rate of return is guaranteed with no questions asked, and the new investors are paid by following ones until they stop and the lower levels are never paid as no new money is coming in to keep the momentum going.

Blind short selling requires offering to provide an item at the end of the month you not only do not have, but unlike normal short selling, are unable to procure. This means if the price rises rather than falls and you are obliged to sell the item you will not be able to, which will open you to a civil action but not automatically a criminal one as this is not essentially illegal.

What is illegal but still common worldwide are the simple get rich quick pyramid schemes, simply based on paying the person ahead of you. As this multiplies the number of members on each level by itself to keep going it has a natural end point where it requires too many thousands of people to join, when it will collapse and everyone below the top few levels lose their money.

Traditionally value has to be based on commodities or added value via converting them to goods, or providing services. But man has always wanted to get rich easily and quickly regardless of any actual production, so new means of fleecing the public, legal or otherwise, will always be thought up and many will succeed before blowing out.
The end result of all though is identical, the money ends up with the few who run the scheme and their friends who join it at the start, while everyone else loses all or nearly all of their 'investments'.

Carbon Trading is the latest incarnation of the South Sea Bubble, where something is being sold that doesn't actually exist and in fact never can. The trades are in taxation, where they initially rely on countries issuing tougher and tougher laws meaning the tax they've already bought or sold will change in value thus making the winner a profit. This of course as well as being immoral has no actual bearing on the ostensible purpose of 'saving the climate' as they are not stopping carbon being burnt, but charging to do so. The traders are mainly normal traders rather than energy users, so in fact are not connected to industry at all but are simply parasites on it like lice or leeches.

In this incarnation the people are the patsys, as they are the ones forced to stump up the end profits by law whether they like it or not. This is either carried out by direct personal carbon limits, which as yet are only in the planning stage but very likely to be imposed in the UK as the paper is already written, or indirectly as all carbon credit costs of industry are simply passed on to the customers who again can choose between heating their houses or turning on lights or sitting in the cold and dark, ie not a choice at all. So governments have found yet another method to create something from nothing, which hits the poor the most as the less income you have the more as a proportion it will take. This is compounded by allowing to trade it and inflate profits for those who do gain, until the same end as befalls all false finance schemes, the investors go broke.
This will happen generally, by causing a gradual rise in inflation as the value of every currency affected inevitably falls as based on no added production, and specifically by people losing all their savings on energy costs. As such this has created and will create even more poverty as it continues ultimately a Dickensian situation of people on the streets, begging and sleeping in shanty towns while the organisers and distributors become richer with their money. This is not communism of fascism but a grand scale fraud, where those running it are quite aware of what is going on but too well organised so far to stop.

Using the 'paedophile' formula, where you make people fear not for their own lives but those of their children, the 'average Joe' has clearly been shown to accept any solution offered to 'save their grandchildren' from a hypothetical hellfire, one which none of us will ever see as set too far in the future, yet if any look back when temperatures are still what we'd consider normal, some will say it had to be because the carbon trading must have worked. As long as the masses, for that is who they are using and relying on, are less interested in facts than fear they will win, and the only thing that can be predicted for the end of the century if carbon trading is continued then the average person will be living in shanty towns like anywhere in the third world today.