Today has been one of those days where the energy was twisted. Nothing I tried happened, nothing I planned happened but besides being blocked on the word quiz I play most hours all day all the other plans simply diverted my activity rather than blocking it. But the main point is that the energy was the same in every aspect of my life the whole day from start to finish, which although I'm fully used to still surprises me in its mathematical consistency. That's the message today as although the details are my diary part the overall picture is sheer connectedness as each area happened with the same distorted and partly constricted frequency.
It began when I called the cemetery as I'd finally run out of alternatives but to clean the gravestone. It closed before I'd have got to it so had to put it off, and yesterday my mother told me the local history museum had a car park, and with no other ideas went there instead. Being free it was a good way to pass an afternoon and the postcards were free as well to bring back for the wall. Then I went to have my camera memory card wiped again, but they no longer had the cards or cameras to wipe them, or the bit that fell off the battery so eliminated that and went home and decided to check if the card could be wiped via the usb cable which indeed it was and now working again. The word game works out a word every hour with more clues every few minutes. I've done well since the weekend but today had a few words on the list someone else entered before I did. Not once but three times, and we all win a few on the same day and not for a few afterwards. Again, the energy opens with a win and can stay open for a day or two, it's there for all to see.
No one can see these phases in advance, and I am not yet able to alter the energy to choice. Tomorrow the cleaner's coming at 3 (officially) so short of a local photo trip have little scope I can think of. I started my phone calls yesterday and have reached the point of leaving one message. I've probably completed my old photo checks with the scanning of the final negatives, and now trying to pin down some photos I didn't label. Two have been identified as Beckenham and the rest are only roughly located as yet.
I'd like to have some control over tomorrow (as we all would), and maybe the fact I'm learning these phases affecting them may be next. I've been shown how and will work on it, and if I can then one by one my problems could melt away.
Tomorrow is free anyhow albeit indoors until 3, I'll have a think where I haven't taken photos within 15 minutes before it gets dark at 4, too late and cold for the cemetery and a miracle if I bother to get my eyes tested but if bored enough and not too tired (I do still suffer from time to time) I may even try it. I can't even think of any other chores left now, possibly as I've done them all, but can darn my cardigan, get the last bits of the shelves in the spare room, make more phone calls, possibly even meditate, and check the lists I make to see what else has been saved up for a free day. This week I am still looking for the grace, last week was totally as planned plus the old road sign turning up, which covered all required grace in one go albeit a partially legible one. This week has so far been working my way through a list with little interruption to stop me or bonus to help me, the nature of grace is random so can't call it in. It may well have been guided as I am getting more used to seeing the patterns, but would still wonder if and when I'd ever make it or graduate. No one wants to retire or qualify when they're too old to make full use of it, and besides joining one of the schools that make their students meditate for hours a day can think of little more I can do for any aspect of my own growth. That means I've done both my best and not avoided any extra actions that may have added to my success. It's easy to accuse people lacking anything of being lazy or careless but you don't have that sort of approach after a law degree requiring the ultimate level of work. Not in itself but for me in the subjects I didn't find easy, which was about half of them. Going to hour long crowded video shows every week for over a year with claustrophobia isn't being careless either, basically if I know something is important and possible I go for it. If I appear not to be it's only because I don't think it is, and even in something as mundane as job applications compared I'd done more than average as they told me so in my interviews. So I reckon I've hardly skimped on the input, and fully deserve any output. My effort now tends to be concentrated when I'm inspired, the energy opens, the ideas flow, I produce a collection and then use it up till the next time. Now what happens to those products is partly my own marketing of them and partly the choice of those I offer them to. Some will always win and lose like the articles, but all you can do is not give up and keep producing and offering. I know when the energy opens I get a bunch of clients, a bunch of letters, phone calls, money, whatever, including related problems. That's been clear for over 20 years and only recently started being more for my benefit than random. But that flow has only just begun and started to happen. Most changes happen gradually but this is taking decades!