Days off

Well, for the first time for ages I've had a whole week free. The balance is I had literally nothing interesting to do specifically either, so have just sat here taking each moment as it comes.

Many little bits of house/garden work have now been done, the weather was good enough to have tea in the garden a couple of times, and apart from the usual family visits I've hardly been anywhere or seen anyone. It's been relaxing though, after last month's chaos I really needed it. The patience of a saint is gradually becoming a reality, as a contrast to my nature of wanting everything now, I've actually got nothing now. To a Buddhist this a sign of enlightenment, but to a suburban Jew with a mild persecution complex it's what it says. Seriously, what I actually mean is that timing of events is really not in our control. We can make arrangements of sorts, but have no guarantee they'll be what we wanted, and definitely not with who we choose, unless they choose it. I'll never actually be totally idle though. Not earning money and not doing anything useful are not the same thing. Many things people do to earn money are a total waste of time, such as selling things to people they don't need, or stealing money from the public in the form of congestion charges. At least I help people and I learn things when I'm not working. If I can pay the bills then I get away with the lack of paid work. If I can't then I'll have to deal with it if the time comes.

I'd rather have things dead quiet than most recent alternatives. I do get incredibly bored at times, but that's because I'm living alone and I wasn't designed for that. I recently met a woman my sort of age and single who seems to like doing the same sort of things, ie like a cat. She seems pretty content, far more than me, sitting and reading or watching TV on her own most of the time, I'm quite relieved people like that do exist as the majority still seem to be doing all the things I did until my late 20s, going to shows, eating out (I never really liked that though), travelling and the like. Any woman I do meet may or may not want to do some of these things and most expect me to join in. I will up to a point, but to a minimum. I don't think this one would but I may be wrong as I've never seen her in a dating situation. I don't know or care technically how few other people have calmed down almost to the point of hibernation, except for the potential women I meet who would prefer to be active. Who knows, maybe my years of meditation are working in a way I didn't predict, calming me down so much I don't need to be active any more. I suspect it's my nature combined with advancing years, but the other view is a lot nicer!

Well, if there are any other sloths out there please let me know, I did hear one call the radio a few weeks ago and felt very encouraged I wasn't totally alone. I've always seemed to stand out on the fringes for some reason, and as long as I had a small group of people around who understood me I wouldn't mind. But remember I write this at a stage in my life. The further back you go the more I did. But I've shifted into a gear now that suits me fine, but would obviously be better if there was a twin soul to share it with. Meanwhile I just take each moment as it comes which is probably a step in the right direction.