Being myself

I was taught lateral thinking long ago, found I was pretty good at it but had to keep practising or I'd lose it. Exams and things took over and although I just remember the principals aren't even sure if I now use them naturally or forgotten how to apply it entirely. It is bloody useful though if you ever want to check it out. I do know if you do the opposite to normal it's one way to do it, and where your actions lead maybe your fate follows. I will see.

It's still chores and to add to the phrase 'Hull, Hell and Halifax' I've got to add Hendon which was today's little anticlimax. I saw a shop with a rough location online that had something I needed and was it there? Was it bollocks. I've asked now and hope it wasn't taken years ago and now closed down as I suspect. My digital camera went funny on the dodgy video function since I dropped it, but at least hasn't affected the camera part I use most days. And I have a proper video camera but don't always carry it unlike the other.
So besides a potential booking on Tuesday my three fully free days are almost done with two of work ahead. And not all paid in case anyone's concerned about it. All I really did in that time was two photo trips and chores that needed to be done, but far from all of them. And with no grandma to go and see have not spoken to a single person in front of me besides in shops. But I'm so used to it I barely notice but wonder how many other people below 80 can say that?

Just for fun I've had two calls from Aktiv Data on my mobile supposedly trying to get hold of some debtor I've never heard of. They are all over the complaint websites and although it's easy to be given the wrong number or make a mistake as soon as I told them it was the wrong number they tried again a few days later. I'd say 50-50 on another but now I know who they are as I checked I am really going to wind them up if they do as I have plenty of spare time. I may give them the address of someone else who is owed one, or ask how they found me or whatever. If they want to waste my time and theirs I may as well get them to do it properly.
I am still collecting no-replies from messages to various people in authority. All I gained was enough material for a quite long article on authority and its abuse. The one thing I am thankful for is my qualifications make people read my articles before they decide whether to reject them or not. You do need some experience in the job besides being qualified and I'm now nearly 15 years into that so quite supplied with case histories to apply to my theories.

One reason I'm so crude and outspoken here is I'm not allowed to at work or was in my online work for 5 years. You have to let it out somewhere and my ex line manager there who taught me 80% of what I know about running websites showed me how to relax afterwards as well. I know if most people here met me they wouldn't expect the filth and rage I drop off here to be possible, but it's only ever used in writing unless someone attacks me directly. I'm a laid back hippy who likes nothing more than a very quiet life with as much sex as possible. I've fought, won and achieved and approaching 40 let alone 50 am ready to settle down like one of my furry pussycats and stay at home. Why the hell not as long as I can get a woman who wants to join me?
Further ambitions as reported already include benefits from my meditation, published work, more TV appearances, moving back to where I used to live and various others. None of which may happen of course, laterally or not.

Everything is trivial at the moment

I think the theme for over a week in my life has been everything that's been done and happened is trivial. You know the major important events and incidents that make any day or week worth doing, well none of them. I've been getting locally and privately made signs all over the place which don't count in the official collection, except one I found today where the jury's out. And that's the highlight. Otherwise I've been doing a bit of everything. Work has been fairly busy, and sorting out my late grandparent's house. The rest has been local photo trips taking variations of the other 10,000 photos I've put on Flickr, seeing no one (grandma was two evenings a week till last month), hardly any gardening as it's rained a lot, and that's about it.

Besides a cancellation today meaning it was free after all the next two days are as well so far. I haven't a clue what I'll do besides my annual football predictions and maybe finishing the non-urgent accounts. I've got used to not having any plans after a few weeks of it, and am working Friday and Saturday to save me thinking of even more. My first daydream when it goes quiet is to slip into the past, but I think I've recalled every possible memory between 1961 and 1980 or so now and can't do a thing to bring any of them back besides finding the road signs like there were then. And also my aims for the future are far more based on what I've had and missed than any imagination. Just recreate something like I had but without as many bits missing. And of course I appreciate everything good I took for granted and then lost, although little has come back.

So the obvious future is like the past, but needn't be. The local sign should officially be painted by this week although I bet they don't tell me even if they do. The woman who wanted to see me has done nothing (big deal), probably as she may have now remembered who I am (big deal again). But people who do avoid me on remembering me at 14 always forget we are all immature at 14 but usually grow up as I have. And did they act like angels as teenagers? I doubt it. And however long I live I'll hope for better. So far the majority of good news has been the end of a bad situation rather than actually adding anything (besides finding old signs that is). But I won't get the few I missed before I officially collected them and were the last in the country. Did I know that at the time? Of course not. As I said years ago most mistakes are from lack of information and given the right status of anything around you will allow you to deal with it as you should. Including who you can trust as well. Most people are either reliable or indifferent, only a few will stitch you up but they're not always obvious. And if you trust the majority it's easier to rely on the wrong 'uns.

That was a phase a few months ago when everyone I requested things from dropped me right in it. Thank goodness one finally let me paint the no entry sign, otherwise I got sod all, unless the second sign is also painted as promised which is a bonus. But every single fucking journalist (well their editors who are the biggest arseholes) has let me down, which really confirms what everyone else said about them. That phase ended with others already described to follow. I just read in the Celestine Prophecy (which I didn't even know I had) more than average (1000s of times in my case) coincidences point to more happening and are the first insight. And when enough people share this everyone will try and find out why as clearly it means there's a hidden force at work. Well as a) I'm free tomorrow and b) I'm bored and c) I'm ready for more then I'd like the hidden force to operate tomorrow and provide something else for me, with no effort (another 'old' concept) but just arrive as I'm ready to get it. And if effort was limited per lifetime I think I've spent all mine already. Time to retire from that treadmill.

Anyway, if the force can provide signs every time I'm stuck then it can provide other things as well when required. And the second misconception is having to wait for things. No effort and no waiting. And again I've waited 49 years for many things on my list so done waiting as well. Not just I deserve it, we all do.

Over half the week done

I'm not quite sure if there is such a thing as a typical week, but if so it's been one so far. Work Tuesday, a bit tomorrow then a little walk round Golders Green, and today totally free. Besides the inevitable seeing no one (as today) the freedom is never a bad thing. I surveyed all the private estates in St Johns Wood (sorry to the 99% of both readers who don't know where any of these places are but all on Streetview now) as I found a lot on there, and got 5 old signs but all unofficial, three were privately made and two were for cyclists. Then I cashed more vouchers for a couple of week's meals and that was it. I've also got the hedge cutters repaired but was raining when I got back today so got the front done at least that people see.

Everything's what you'd call just above neutral, as free and have still managed to find some more proper old signs as I keep looking until I've covered everywhere. But guidance either exists or not, and since it's worked by leading me to the signs, then it's now helpful as well and should extend to the other things I need. I'm past suffering for my benefits and as well as believing I've done enough for the lifetime simply can't take it any more either. No restaurants or theatres to impress a woman as I'd be like a plane phobic half way across the Atlantic. Just my nature and need a woman who won't mind. I want a woman to have around my normal life, I'm not 16 any more and neither are they and most people get all that shit out of their system when they get old enough to settle down. And nearly 50 should be well old enough.

I'm still refining my big article, not spiritual enough for the spritual magazine and too important for a few professionals to see who probably already know it. It includes the formula of someone in power taking something away from a lesser being simply because they can. It makes no difference to them but can ruin the victim's life. It's happened to me on and off as long as I can remember and once they've moved on a few minutes later I've been left with something permanently missing for no reason. I doubt I can reform any of these as they're beyond repair in most cases, but still want to draw everyone's attention to it least of all so they can collectively avoid such people. We all have our natural abilities and I see what happens around me and fit each piece in until I see enough of a picture to point it out. Whether a single person has learnt is another story but as it costs nothing to share then I continue to do so.

With so little of the ordinary making a lot of difference you can see why I and so many others look to the extraordinary for excitement, in the form of the supernatural. Precious little of that around in the way of stories but the way life has now fitted together from similar phases, words and synchronicities to total arrangement is the most supernatural thing of all as it's affecting everything at once. But still out of my hands and only visible when it chooses to happen. Other things may take days or more to create while I'm on a road but not aware of it, so when everything seems normal and dull in fact it is heading somewhere. I hope. And I don't expect too much as most of what I want is based on the past rather than an imagined future. I've seen what's possible and just want it for myself. And very little outside the very narrow bounds of business can be earned by sheer effort. Far from it.

Jobs done

A bit of Jungian analysis here (I have read the book). As I was so repressed from letting go in work and in many places online among others, the blog has become a release for my dark side, like Tourette's. There are no restraints there and the alternative is to push your boundary walls so hard by holding things in they come out when random people speak to you. Rather than reach that stage I'd rather eff and blind here from time to time than let it slip or blow out with people who won't either expect or appreciate it. Some people live from that place so becomes normal but I never have but certain words do apply to certain situations as do opinions but few places in real life allow me to use them.

Well I'm free now, the Funtrivia.com global challenge, over 4 months of daily quizzes, has just ended, and after playing the lot once before I again came in the top 10 at 7th although the rounds were set twice a day to allow people with jobs to play everything. So even against anyone free to do so I can still do it. No more running around when the broadband packs up to ask neighbours to play there or spending ages working out word games. I wanted to see if I could do it again and am very pleased I did. Busy working this afternoon and free now, and just wandering around websites as there's no TV and little else to do. I will probably take up the lounge carpet this week as the dirt is more than the carpet and there's proper wood flooring underneath. That'll save me a fortune if I can and get a rug to cover the centre. On the social side a couple of people are nibbling at the edges but have to see what happens. Any nookie will be a bonus of course.

Now the quizzes are over I will do what I can to read more blogs again, I stopped for a while simply as nearly all on my list had stopped writing so had a job finding any new ones as many bloggers have a profile but no blog. The hits here are diabolical at the moment and only increase when someone has a go at me, like Big Brother viewing figures do. Well for those looking for excitement go to my Youtube site (satguru) as I've been getting death threats there as well as on the phone from a paranoid schizophrenic. None for 49 years then two in a week. I learnt if I don't like anything to go in the other direction but many people have not. You get rid of 1 bad person and you'll find others, that isn't how it works.
Tomorrow is one booking, a search in Golders Green and a probable visit to clear more books from my late grandma's house, two suitcases full to deliver somewhere else until they are gone. There are only two left in her family and my mum is 75 and sticking to the paperwork. My dad's 81 and in Surrey so not expecting him to get busy either. So I do what I can and when it gets to the big stuff will need the van drivers to come in.

I also have my hedgecutters working so that will be done as well in the week, anything else remains a mystery.

Gone a bit dead

It's interesting how I think the best you can do is roughly aim for something and then whatever will come takes over, like fishing but far less precise. I found someone on Facebook who wants to see me, of all the hundreds of people I've contacted this is only the third. I will see. And I actually found another old sign using Streetview which wasn't at all hard to get to either. I also reckon where the meeting is and what happens is also pretty well out of my control besides keeping it out of the centre of London. Like many things I see a certain age looming ahead and don't want to be past it before the good things finally arrive.

Besides a few work bookings there's nothing else planned ahead although the football friendlies are on so may actually get to one if convenient. I think expecting things is against both practical and spiritual rules and far better to get used to only being concerned with the present, however boring that may be. But the mind also assumes that will continue indefinitely if there's nothing ahead known to change it, but we never really know in reality.
So for a change it has made my mind a bit blank as well, which considering it's time for bed and I'm working tomorrow may have a good reason. I had no idea how much I'd written last time till I just scrolled through it and was amazed how so much can come for so little. I don't know how many people can be arsed to read more than about an A4 page, I suspect not many, but when I've something I like reading I can read quite a long way.

I'm sorry I haven't got much more to report for a change, it was too early to go to bed and for a change I'd run out of other websites which happens a couple of times a year. Those of you who are not single wouldn't have a clue what it's like to have to fill nearly all a day on your own. It's also inclined to make you appreciate the rare times you do speak to interesting people and make the most of it. Work doesn't really count as I can't even talk about myself as part of the rules. That's work and not conversation however interesting some of the people may be. I suppose there could be a place for counsellors who also light their farts (no I don't but others do), discuss their sex lives (never seen the need either), although one area that could never help is comparing your own problems which is the very thing many untrained people do (like my late grandma always did). 'You think you've got problems...' is the most pointless way to try and help anyone as you've instantly ignored them and switched to you. Still, I get well paid for such discipline and don't really slip up as it was always how things were done.

I also believe the offers so many counsellors claim they have for sex, male and female, is a bit of false advertising. After 17 years I've had no more than a couple of hints and from the stories I've heard in private the ones who claim more frequently act on it. It's one thing restraining your self interest but another rejecting it totally. Not that I believe many of them, unless I really am such a turn off. So having all these yawning gaps for a very long time I have just read they are the basis of stress and disease. Holy shit, what a surprise. Counselling aside I tell everyone you can't think of many problems when you're on the job with someone you actually like. And very few people disagree. That was one of the things nature got right, but then fucked up when it made women treat it like a currency that had to be earned. Bad mistake. People appreciate things when they have them, lose them and get them back again, not when they are rationed permanently. That's just socialism.

Well I think I've even bored myself but now stopped myself going to bed early which is a mixed blessing. There's always something that stops me, obviously excepting sex. In fact that's the only reason I go to bed early excluding illness. When there's someone to go to bed with then no reason not to. So any of you guys not appreciating your partners learn from those who have none. And if it's that bad then drop it as it's even worse being with the wrong person than alone as it's like a ball and chain. Empty freedom is better than that as I just about remember.

Multiple dimensional control

It's a nice free week again, sod all in the way of constructive ideas but have got some chores done as little in the way of distractions. I have realised how one thing that would make me very happy is to have even one person who's treated me like shit in the past to realise the error of their ways and apologise. I still feel guilty for all the times I've done it to people and wonder if many who've done it for me still think they were right. I know if I've deserved anything and these were just nasty. I also fantasise about what I'd like to happen besides that when it's quiet, and includes discovering old friends, more rare road signs, getting replies from long dead messages, and getting the real data on global warming out of the shadows. Some may happen sooner or later and others are daydreams. We all have them though and do show how little say we have in what happens, whatever we think we can do about it.

Nothing in the way of plans besides some work next week, and the new three step version of my original active meditation. This moves you beyond the immediate awareness and then tries to dissolve any blockages to what lies behind it. It gets you deeper to start with and then a way to clear the path altogether (if it works). As a natural teacher even though I'm just doing this for me if I found it worked I'd probably be the first to want to tell everyone. The main reason is I've been listening to the teaching for 12 years and most complicate it so much they dig people in even deeper a lot of the time. And anything that works for me will work I am certain.

Another interesting phenomenon I've come across and tested is seeing something coming just before you get it. Technically if you play golf with a blindfold you'll just keep hitting the ground and never know where the hole is, let alone hit the ball in it. But when I've taken a quiz and nearly won was often when I was just about to win the next one. Heads and tails, same odds each throw but it happened. And then when you want to find something and just guess somewhere you've just thought of is the likely route. There is some logic there but only a little. I was checking names from school again and thought I must get close to one on my list on this search and soon after one turned up. Having searched for 9 years very few new ones pop up now, and there they were right after I guessed I was on the right track. And maybe the same applies to enlightenment. You suddenly realise you're on the right track just before you find it. And women and anything else for that matter, you often seem to be able to tell just before it happens like when I went to my friend's house a couple of time when his sister had friends over. Having a friend's sister's friends over wasn't an automatic passport to crumpet for me but at least one of these occasions sensed it was going to happen and it did.

I am ready for something decent to happen now. I may or may not deserve it or have put the effort in but either way I am. And miracles know no size or quantity, once the door is open all is as easy as one small one. I know what I'd like and possibly who. Anyone who's read The Secret knows it's not cheating and having had no control previously does not feel any worse for getting it with the control as if cheating. It's just working for something constructively if it's true. I've used it twice so far for some pretty big things but will wait till the list is a lot longer before I connect the cause and effect.

But if I could see anything good coming I'd get just one woman from the past who was ready and able for me, at least one apology from some total baskets who need a week on basket camp to learn their lessons, see a few heads roll where people have overstepped their authority, have a major name take up the cause to kill the lies of global warming, get me on terrestrial TV or a daily paper (got close so far but need to cross that line), get enough money to move where I used to live, catch up with some old friends I've lost track of, get one home from abroad, get a relative to pay back the money he stole from us, get the second last series of Grange Hill (the one that wasn't broadcast on TV) shown so I can see it at last, find the music from children's TV in the early 60s, find out what happened to the old roundabout sign I missed in Surrey, get another old red triangle sign, get the truth on ufos from whoever already knows it, find anything I'd lost in the house, and anything else I haven't thought of.

Of course we all have similar lists, but I believe there's no reason life can't actually be like this. I've also read about dimensional shifts and one example was losing something in plain view and then turning up later. This happens to me and people I know quite often, and the roundabout sign was an area I passed from time to time and only noticed once. Someone took a photo there a couple of days later and it wasn't there. The council had no record of removing it despite the location and date I saw it go. Unlike others it wasn't in a seedy back street but on a major dual carriageway thousands of people would pass daily. That's a mystery. I thought I'd got the place wrong but after many checks I couldn't have done. And I'd wake up tomorrow to find some people had gone, some people had arrived and many things were different. And if there are multiple universes that explains how my own can change so much without bothering anyone elses.

A summary of 5 years

I remember once when anyone in my family asked me what I'd been doing the usual answer was 'not much'. Having a blog somehow made the sort of things I'd never bother to mention into an essential part of an ongoing story. Looking back (as there's little to add since last time) I've seen various themes since I started this from memory. Technically I wonder how much my life has changed in the last 15 years let alone 5 since I've been doing this, but I can say I had a job for a while and said friend and employer buggered off abroad in 2002 leaving me more time for nothing. That was all before the blog, and had a regular girlfriend for a while after and then I suppose it settled down into more or less how it is now.
I got my TV break in 2006 followed by a few more, but no actual effect as a couple of minutes a go on obscure channels is not the same as TV was when I was younger and there were just a handful of channels everyone watched. But a start.

I did recently sum up the reason for my discontent with most things in life was that in all areas of pleasure I'd barely got more than a few crumbs. I can't think of many other people who have serially missed out on so many areas most people fill sooner or later. And if you've got to nearly 50 you get the impression if you haven't managed it yet, whatever it is, you may never. Who knows. None of these things can be had directly, like enlightenment. You can't just say you want it and do something to get it. That's the main difference, in business you have some pretty clear routes and depend on effort and skill. Combine the two and sooner or later you will succeed. But having friends, partners and especially family they come and go as they please. The nearest you can get is getting a cat but hardly the same. I'm fairly used to life with all the gaps but would be so pleased if any became filled.

So it's taken me to this point. A more or less neutral equilibrium. I still react to good and bad things as I'm not enlightened, and maybe it can still even happen then at times. I expect nothing more but will be happy if it happens, and know whatever I do it can't change anything that really needs changing. It's almost impossible not to meet women you like and ask them out, but up to them what they do about it. That's just one example but applies to every area of pleasure. If I could afford to move house I'd just be doing the same thing in better surroundings, and remember the number of times I've been in a room and a woman just walked in and that was it. I did nothing, I was just there and we couldn't avoid the reaction. The only difference now is hardly any are single like they were then, so the supply is at a trickle so whatever I do I'm going to meet 25 and 70 year olds. And even the 70 year olds wouldn't want someone my age should I be interested. I've tried that already.

I'm not actually complaining here, just summarising everything since I started here out of lack of anything else to do. Today was a typical day of my freedom, I went to Regents Park, did a bit of essential shopping and watched TV. With no grandma I have more freedom but one less person around. And to complete the circle you can't attract people like cats. And god forbid I encourage retards who I spent months or years trying to get shot of. It's far better to be alone than suffer the ramblings of the rejects who hook onto me as I'm free during the day and basically only they are besides the few so rich they needn't work. Like me (ha ha). And it's no wonder I've always looked for more in the supernatural as superpowers don't half make life more interesting.
Tomorrow is free as well although I may have a visitor later on, or maybe two. And the teacher I'm following this week says we can't change outside, only inside. Then outside doesn't really matter. Very simple in theory and know what to do, but how the fuck long does it take (if at all) to notice a difference? I doubt even he knows as it's different for everyone. But no better method I know of.

Not much to report

The last few days seemed to take care of themselves really, I found two more one way street signs and had the arrow going the other way to the one I had already. They are rare. I'm free ahead so far, no grandma to see any more but besides being on my own for longer find plenty to do with the spare time. Nothing special planned work or play, I got to the library on Saturday and got an ad there to be checked at least although the object of my affections was off that day. Meanwhile I keep hearing teachers say our enlightenment is in looking at our awareness and can come with effort, so I still make the effort. They've experienced something I haven't and everything in life will be better if I ever do so not just the best aim but a very easy method to get there.

I still assume everything must be guided, even yesterday I wasn't planning to go on the road with the signs on it but my father wanted to see somewhere there as we were passing it, as soon as I turned right there it was. So if every other thing I want in life comes next the same way I don't actually have to do anything. These signs have turned up either found by other people or just when I was passing them randomly. I can't say I want to find a sign and look in a certain area. Some have more than others but no rules really. And the same for enlightenment. The teachers just turn up in my Youtube inbox and remind me what to do and why. The same thing in many different ways. It's like God, you have no idea what it's like until you get it. Except people are experiencing it here and now and can describe it whereas those who claim to know God have a lot less to claim. And really are probably describing the same thing except in a religious context.

Few of the authorities have replied to me besides the one who are painting the sign. Nothing new there. Nothing else known or expected at the moment but always keep busy if free. That's what I learnt at 2 when my mother started working again and was either left with her while she did paperwork or with my nanny. I made traffic jams across the carpet and then got myself sent to school to keep me busy just before I was 3. Had I known it would last 16 years I'd have held off a bit longer although I did have fun in the nursery school. I noticed the opposite sex straight away and was hooked on two of the teachers who I held hands with in alternate playtimes and one girl I was close to till we moved a few years later. I haven't managed to track her down yet though. I pass her old flat where I went for tea regularly as only live round the corner from where I did back then.

So, it's a blank slate at the moment, the football friendlies have started so may go to one of them sooner or later, and will leave the rest to guidance.

Work and routine

It can be pretty annoying when you and others know the truth and others are lying and getting away with it. But normally in these situations it can't last forever as you can't build a house from words alone. We will see. I've also collected much of my work together in some new articles and am saving them for someone who may actually choose to pay me for them. Why the fucking hell should I study for 6 years, practice for another 17 and share my knowledge for nothing? Who else would for so long? It's one thing having the odd individual client but over the years you see and learn patterns and want thousands of people to learn rather than a handful. So I put it out online and professional journals where none of the people who need to learn read it. I've been writing for courses endlessly so have just about sewn up what it takes by now and besides not swearing when a magazine finally agrees to print my work for money pretty much everything else will be as you read it here.

Actually I suspect it would be more popular if I did swear but you need to be well established to get away with risks like that. The biggest shock I got at 14 was when my therapist swore freely (considering I was punished so heavily when I did at 8 that I was terrified of the words for years after). But basically if people swear and they're not working for someone else they carry on all the time. You get used to it after a while. Since then I've had bosses who never stopped from the minute they arrived to the minute they went home. But they were just common rather than saving it for when it was useful. Big Brother has been noticing that this year with housemates commenting how pointless it is to swear the whole time as it has no effect or use. I never said a bad word in writing till I picked it up here either. But I realised if I am happy to say them and let them go I should be able to write them and leave them indefinitely.

It's been a week of chores and little else besides walks in the parks and woods around here for relief when the rain finally stopped on Thursday. Since my grandma died there's only me and my mother to clear a three floor house of 99 years of tut. We did a lot while she was alive for obvious reasons but a lot she needed so had to leave a lot while she still did. So that's my main job at the moment, and managed to catch up on a lot of gardening since the weather cooled down and then dried up. Otherwise I'm still watching all the satsang on Youtube and am wondering if the true state is just seen by dropping the false one whether it should be quite easy now to do so, especially with 12 years of practice. I'd certainly change if that happened. No plans for either the weekend or the week ahead, the football friendlies start about then and may be one on Tuesday or thereabouts, and the timetable show a nice selection depending on parking and access. Other than that it's a mystery beyond the normal routine which is just like breathing. Necessary but not very exciting.

Looking at reality

As if any ever made a noise in the first place, I've been going through a quiet period the last couple of days. Besides raining until the evening each day I've just been fannying around looking for things to do. That's included a bit of gardening with the newly borrowed clippers, a visit to the outdoor gym again and doing some housework (only happens when all else has run out). But I can't have excitement the whole time and don't need it, rather stability like I had when I still lived at home, better place, better area and with other people.

Until that happens again (my arse), I have to drag whatever I can from the same pool of randomness we all do. A little good news is along with three new scientific books demonstrating how everything I've said about global warming for years is correct the earth's got colder again this month. The actual trend is now towards an ice age but that would fuck up their whole scheme so saving that for geeks like me to discover online. The very fact both the BBC and most papers ignore such vital news demonstrates their attitude to it. They have a task and they must stick to it until the size and weight of the truth overwhelms the wall they've put up for it. While Gordon Brown fiddles in Copenhagen after robbing the world better than Robin Hood or even Al Gore could do. He's a lying scheming bastard and besides claiming he couldn't see the recession coming was partly behind it by allowing unlimited lending. What else could it lead to tell me?

Thank goodness a few other intelligent and perceptive people see things exactly the same way as I do, but like anyone at the top of the pyramid not enough to do very much about it. The majority always being right is a well known fallacy as only a small minority are intelligent enough to see through the crap others will fall for. The leaders know and exploit this and most people are accused of conspiracy theorists for pointing it out. If only that was true. But if the global warming con is seen through and our politicians proved guilty hopefully no one will trust them again.
At least I can know I'm doing my bit on that front.

Ahead is no more than behind. When the highest point on the year's social calendar is half an hour at my old school where I hardly know anyone just about sums up the general picture. I'm quite used to it now mind you, but hope it doesn't go on forever. I'm still self promoting, offering my free counselling services to papers, offering articles, chasing women (online at least) and whatever else comes to me. It got one sign painted at least besides meeting a few people online, and similar to having unlimited tries at X Factor in case you finally make it. Persistence is as important as talent as if you give up because you assume you haven't enough talent you may well be wrong, it's just a matter of competing with everyone else's. Never give up as long as you have more chances.

Another week ahead

Well despite having barely any plans I've been pretty busy. A booking was cancelled on Saturday which meant I could go to the annual school reunion for the first time since 2005. I did go most years but after no one carried on going who I knew I stopped, was working last year and wanted to check in this year again. Same two hard core people only, second worst turn out ever but at least I was there. I kept Streetviewing despite having nearly every reasonable sign on my list within 40 miles, and found a pair (at least) on the arse end of a shitty estate I went to a couple of weeks ago. The illegible sign was a new one and the others repeats but must be thorough and did a couple of others again in daylight as they look better.

The week is free ahead besides clearing grandma's house, which will take some time. I hope to check the roads in Cheshunt as Streetview doesn't stretch more than 15 miles from London so I still have to do many places the old way. I missed the library trip on Friday as it closes at lunchtime but now know only Tuesday Thursday and Saturday are any use for me. It was too hot last week to do the front garden so will be on that next, and the rest is a mystery. No more thank goodness from the nutcases but that is usually their nature. If you live in a fantasy world hopefully most of the actions are fantasy as well. He says...

But most of the guidance has been working as each possibly dead day has been filled one way or another and anything ahead should follow the same way, and hopefully extend over every other area besides old signs.

A little too much excitement

It's getting a bit chaotic here again, besides life as normal I've managed to get two separate death threats this week and it's only Wednesday. Now I don't know the average a person is expected to get in their life but like everything else when that energy is around it seems to be coming from everywhere at once. The first was on Youtube and probably follows a long campaign for making a video on some gang's council estate. Then a schizophrenic I used to know who I dropped when he turned nasty just rang up and said he's going to kill me for various paranoid delusional type reasons. Anyone who doesn't believe in some sort of karma as described in Autobiography of a Yogi may start wondering after seeing all the phases I've been sent.

Now taking it to the traditional eastern view these events imply my spiritual work has reached a level where karma is becoming almost instant and the issues I've had saved up are all coming at once so I can get rid of them to be clear for enlightenment. Of course a physical death and a symbolic death of the ego is a close thing, as the greatest barrier to enlightenment is the fear of losing it, although it is something we were born to lose, like our milk teeth, and maybe our virginity. It is impossible to ignore the arrangement I see around me more and more and that also means there's sod all difference I can make about whoever wants to kill me as whatever's meant to happen will. Now wasting my future seems a bit beyond the purpose of any sort of karma, and more likely to see how I deal with it to see if I'm ready. Detachment is probably the best move as it's all meant to be an illusion anyway. Dreams can be easily created to any script so why not the dream we think is reality?

So besides the attacks on my peace I've been reasonably busy in the proper summer weather that may well be a week in a year of British cold and wet. Visitors today although one didn't make it, too hot for any gardening but did some food shopping and washing up. And more accounts which almost seem to be working now for the annual returns which are beyond me and normally checked by an accountant. No doubt if they are rubbish they will be sent back and have to be but all the programming has been updated and seems to work although balancing accounts was one bit I never got at college when I did it. There's a trick they used to take the two parallel figures of income and outgoings and then use the owner's equity to make the difference up, a bit like lining up the two layers of toilet paper when they get out of line. But nowadays the balance sheet is done by the computer and we only get involved when it flags up an error. Now having seen a few before I didn't this time so can but hope. Under law you don't need an accountant to do quarterly and annual returns so I am a lot cheaper. But if they want them to balance as well then I'm not the man.

Normal obligations the rest of the week, clearing my late grandma's house, gardening and a work booking on Saturday. But my road sign collection is nearly complete now with one of the rarest appearing on Monday. Assuming neither lunatic carries out their threats I can then look ahead to the following week, football friendlies, no school annual reunion as it's the day I'm working (unless it finishes before I expect to) and who knows what ahead.
I did stop reading blogs for a while for the simple reason everyone on my list stopped writing or deleted them altogether. It took a while to add a few new ones to read and being on the road so much this year and Streetview to help me search I've had little time for other sites besides my daily quizzes. My scores continue to improve as not only do I keep learning new facts I get the same questions over again until they become familiar. I'll be back though as when all the other stuff gets done I'll have more time to wander around the other places again. Before the buggers cut off the profile links for a year I was getting 50 hits a day. I'm lucky to get double figures now. Search me.