Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Everything is trivial at the moment

I think the theme for over a week in my life has been everything that's been done and happened is trivial. You know the major important events and incidents that make any day or week worth doing, well none of them. I've been getting locally and privately made signs all over the place which don't count in the official collection, except one I found today where the jury's out. And that's the highlight. Otherwise I've been doing a bit of everything. Work has been fairly busy, and sorting out my late grandparent's house. The rest has been local photo trips taking variations of the other 10,000 photos I've put on Flickr, seeing no one (grandma was two evenings a week till last month), hardly any gardening as it's rained a lot, and that's about it.

Besides a cancellation today meaning it was free after all the next two days are as well so far. I haven't a clue what I'll do besides my annual football predictions and maybe finishing the non-urgent accounts. I've got used to not having any plans after a few weeks of it, and am working Friday and Saturday to save me thinking of even more. My first daydream when it goes quiet is to slip into the past, but I think I've recalled every possible memory between 1961 and 1980 or so now and can't do a thing to bring any of them back besides finding the road signs like there were then. And also my aims for the future are far more based on what I've had and missed than any imagination. Just recreate something like I had but without as many bits missing. And of course I appreciate everything good I took for granted and then lost, although little has come back.

So the obvious future is like the past, but needn't be. The local sign should officially be painted by this week although I bet they don't tell me even if they do. The woman who wanted to see me has done nothing (big deal), probably as she may have now remembered who I am (big deal again). But people who do avoid me on remembering me at 14 always forget we are all immature at 14 but usually grow up as I have. And did they act like angels as teenagers? I doubt it. And however long I live I'll hope for better. So far the majority of good news has been the end of a bad situation rather than actually adding anything (besides finding old signs that is). But I won't get the few I missed before I officially collected them and were the last in the country. Did I know that at the time? Of course not. As I said years ago most mistakes are from lack of information and given the right status of anything around you will allow you to deal with it as you should. Including who you can trust as well. Most people are either reliable or indifferent, only a few will stitch you up but they're not always obvious. And if you trust the majority it's easier to rely on the wrong 'uns.

That was a phase a few months ago when everyone I requested things from dropped me right in it. Thank goodness one finally let me paint the no entry sign, otherwise I got sod all, unless the second sign is also painted as promised which is a bonus. But every single fucking journalist (well their editors who are the biggest arseholes) has let me down, which really confirms what everyone else said about them. That phase ended with others already described to follow. I just read in the Celestine Prophecy (which I didn't even know I had) more than average (1000s of times in my case) coincidences point to more happening and are the first insight. And when enough people share this everyone will try and find out why as clearly it means there's a hidden force at work. Well as a) I'm free tomorrow and b) I'm bored and c) I'm ready for more then I'd like the hidden force to operate tomorrow and provide something else for me, with no effort (another 'old' concept) but just arrive as I'm ready to get it. And if effort was limited per lifetime I think I've spent all mine already. Time to retire from that treadmill.

Anyway, if the force can provide signs every time I'm stuck then it can provide other things as well when required. And the second misconception is having to wait for things. No effort and no waiting. And again I've waited 49 years for many things on my list so done waiting as well. Not just I deserve it, we all do.

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