Friday, September 04, 2009

A teacher and a writer

I am learning via the Celestine Prophecy to actively look for guidance in all my life. Bad things which must be good, like the turds who treated me like something stuck to their shoe got me to analyse their behaviour, write a huge article about it, tell the world about it online and realise my role as a teacher. Those were two of the insights in action before I'd touched the book so my own life corresponded with it beforehand so instead of wondering if it was yet more bollocks, read in amazement as my own experiences continued to be presented in front of me.

After the hard work (for me anyhow) last week I'm on a holiday. I've had to make my own plans, but besides the trip to the library, finding the almost perfect woman was definitely still almost perfect but married, the rest has been hard core fannying around. Photo trips are now being made to places on the map I haven't taken them and just take whatever fits into my many themes. I did however find a sign I took 6 months ago was an old one after all, so managed to add another without lifting a finger. I am planning to follow the advice and make another photo book specially for the library of the local area, and hope they do actually use it.

So the week was free after all, no nasty surprises blocking my rest, and all I do now is see each day what I can think of to do as there's nothing particular on the system. But as I've found things to do so far I'm not bothered, and most good things that have happened have been far from predicted in my life and yours I'd expect. Tomorrow's spare again until the evening, and any gardening has been off as it's rained on and off all week. Now my council charge to take junk away I can't just dump my old carpet as before, and they charge for five items minimum which means looking for four more before the first can go. Next door didn't have anything so will be some time before I can find enough to make a visit worthwhile.

I only know one person who reads this from Facebook (although others could do) but have found for reasons suspected a few of my friend invitations went unanswered. These people have all stitched me up in one way or another, and fear they believe I deserved it, so haven't added me not because of any vague feelings of guilt they are some of said turds who, for absolutely no decent reason, spat me out when I apparently got in their ways, and despite my own acts of forgiveness (I give people chances after most transgressions, besides the Nazi who threatened to kill me). Funnily enough the death threat could be forgiven but not his Nazism as I don't believe that can change at his age. You can be sorry for an act but not who you are. All the others acted very badly, and other people who are now friends had in the past and I totally dropped it when they behaved nicely again. Power is abused by people not forgiving as well as being perpetrators. And who loses? I'd have lost two really nice people if I hadn't accepted their apologies for not only what was appaling behaviour but spread over months. But ultimately harmless.

I hope I set an example. If I can do any of these things everyone can as we're all in the chaos that is other people. Buddha taught this crap 2500 years ago so I'm not exactly being original, but how many people remind you to do this? And as I'm talking professionally I also aim to make this area a possible source of income, as I'd rather be paid for what I do naturally and easily than the sort of job a donkey would be suitable for. I've done plenty of those, including after my degree, as most undergraduate degrees do not lead to specific jobs besides teaching, which I did. But until the final job I wasn't paid in the holidays so what began as a caretaking job changed to furniture removal as the business expanded. I gave up after dropping a gas cooker off the back of the van and although was happy to man the office for less money had enough of that at the age of about 31. That was my final crap job and after that, besides private teaching, I ended up exactly where I started in retail as that was literally all I could get after a few hundred applications, and both from people I knew.

I planned slightly different work, and work I would probably still be doing had I qualified. O level maths stopped a few, no teachers training without it and all the private schools have little regular work in my areas. I can't remember if the then year long social work course needed maths as well or I'd probably have stayed on and done it, and now regret not doing the same thing for librarianship (assuming even that doesn't need it). Becoming a therapist meant I both did what I was best at and helped people, but there's fuck all work in it outside self employment and that's restricted to a few elite who have posh places and plenty of contacts. We all get their crumbs and nothing I do can make a living that way. So writing would fill the gap perfectly and as I've been published for about 15 years (first by myself admittedly but it did sell) then am clearly able to. Like most jobs it's a formula or feature writers would be lost each week as they don't report news but do basically what I do, pick a topic or two and waffle. Boris Johnson summed it up, he whizzes it off in a few hours and earns £250,000 a year. Hardly anyone can reach that rate but only a variation of that amount for them all.

Luckily somehow I pay my bills but have an income most people would assume was Polish or possibly Ghanaian (assuming they don't get much), or maybe even Chad (they certainly don't). I'm just so incredibly careful with my money I save it for what needs paying first and don't spend it on anything else unless get a present. So a large and regular income would be very new to me, and don't see why all my qualifications, knowledge and experience can't be used instead of physical labour as before. Working in a shop is barely different as besides the demeaning nature of being ordered around by customers you have to keep the stock updated, clean the shop (only big places employ cleaners), carry boxes up ladders, unpack deliveries etc, so basically a glorified warehouseman. It could be done in my sleep and had long periods of time to do crosswords when it was quiet but every work experience bod who came in at 16 got the hang of it after 2 weeks so hardly up to my level besides the ease of operation. That was before the minimum wage and I earned a fraction of it, so was basically paid according to the level of the work I was doing.
Although I would have done it again elsewhere I'd like a professional regular job if possible one day based not on another course but the ones I've done already. I get employed for it willingly in the media, but they either pay thousands or sod all. I'm not a socialist but sharing it more evenly would help us all.

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