Saturday, June 28, 2008

Pretty well buggered at the moment

Christ it's become boring recently. There's only so much I can do while nothing happens around me. How long this will last is anyone's guess, but besides having no actual known problems there's sod all else on top of that, which is not enough for anyone.
I keep as busy as anyone can, and had a couple of jobs to do for family today that diverted me and the camera to Hendon and Temple Fortune, plus the kosher shop which was useful. One friend says he can't be bothered to go out and about on his own so stays in (with his parents) whereas I am better off going out as there are no parents or anyone else in or out.

The list of people not replying reflects one a few years ago, about 7 in a row, none with any more reason not to than any other. I can just as easily get the same all reply in a row, but that's how so much in my life happens. The eastern view this is all a dream makes far more sense than the western evil god, as if I was creating all this the consistencies would be as it was all from one source. Not god, no way. As we have no control where we find ourselves in a dream we have none in waking life either, but both are possibly products of the same consciousness. They say once you start seeing it for what it really is you become enlightened, and I am barely in any doubt at all now that's possible as it can be done with drugs as well as naturally. For some a constant interest will allow it to happen while others work at it with a teacher full time for years and get nothing. Meanwhile two women are gossiping on the radio about leg injuries, which is probably the best of a bad lot at this time of night. If they switched to masturbation the station would suddenly start attracting most listeners from the other channels, but would they risk it?

I expect anyone in a situation with no clear means of escape will become overwhelmed with frustration eventually, what the hell can you do? Life carries on elsewhere normally while I am like Rome burning while everyone else fiddles. None of the TV and media work is going smoothly either, people are rebelling over the latest TV contract which will kill it altogether after 2 year's work if an agreement isn't reached. The biggest problem with the internet is although we have the freedom to interact in virtually every way you can, you can't actually meet all but the smallest minority of people there as they are spread evenly across the world. Considering I rarely if ever would travel more than 10 miles to meet anyone due to health problems, socially the internet does not make very much difference, rather a parallel world than an extended one.

So meanwhile I'm almost running out of housework to do, which is saying something. This week I've done shopping in Golders Green and Hendon and ordered parts for the car, as well as photos in all those places plus Finchley and Queens Park. But after the trips out alone (the one-date sort of girlfriend did come with me a few times earlier in the year but is away now as well) I return to the same place and situation. Besides tenants for a few years, this is now 16 years I've lived on my own, so every reason to complain as besides one offer from hell not a single person wanted to live with me. So many problems have answers and I specialise in offering them, so am very well qualified to see where they simply don't exist. Just like doctors who can't offer any treatment. Buggered.

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