Monday, October 20, 2008

The world today

One question that comes to mind at the moment, am I getting anywhere? In what I call duality, ie the world before enlightenment where everything is real despite being told it's not, sod all. Absolutely zero. Every plan this year has ended up in landfill, women, media work and any other plan that could have improved my life had it actually happened.
Thank goodness outside duality my own inner work as been shifted as there is now no mental blockage to enlightenment. I'm even noticing little things for the first time since I began this path in 1997 and know they are signs something in there probably is happening. But until and unless it keeps doing so I'm still in this world and would like it to provide some more than there currently is.

I've got nothing left in the way of work or social projects, the last lot delivered what they did and that's it. Some of the old ones will crawl on, like selling a few more photobooks and postcards, but they are at a loss more or less and won't get me any better work unless a shop was to order some. At least with my health picking up I now both visit and appreciate covering my areas, the shops of NW11, N10 and NW3 for a start. Before it was just as routine as cleaning my teeth but now I realise what I can get from every interactive part of my life, being stopped from it for so long. Technically it only needs one, two at the most people to fix many of my problems from lack of pleasure. One friend and one woman. Too much of a tall order? 97% of all those over 25 I come across who want not to be single (OK it's a guess but probably not far off) so why should I be left out? It must include (anti-PC alert!!!) cripples, midgets and mingers who all seem to more or less manage like everyone else, albeit not as frequently, so how did I miss? All the elements one would say women were looking for besides being normal height were in my profile at one stage or other but made no difference. The good ones always left before things got interesting, even if it was not because of me.

So day by day more little jobs need to be doing as we all have (unless we have other people to do them for us), I wander around collecting new bus numbers and station photos for the groups, and write about it afterwards. I have compared my blogs to exploring a well used hanky at times, as you just go from one mess to the next. I can't philosophise that besides seeing all events come in phases, big and small. Including non events, which all rolled up this year. I did sell 10 postcards, see a dodgy car number plate with the camera this time, and get a DVD of the colour trade tests I hadn't seen since 1972, but in a year or so that's not really much, but at least on the inner side my major project may just have opened up. But that is unknown territory and can't see what may be ahead, if anything is. That's new science so not able to navigate any unless I learn more from experience. It just takes one area to shift. It's a big ask but one which others seem to get, at least with friends and partners, with little effort. The business side is more in my control besides the ultimate fame element, unless I start showing myself off in other ways if I can think of any. Without the help of an insider that path is almost shut and I can't think of any others I can become connected with.

Meanwhile the economy affects those involved with it, a few go broke and many lose their jobs, and many more are being rewarded and if whoever objected to me getting benefits for major medical issues then divert your wrath to the greedy bastards who gambled on getting more debts repayed than was possible and are now being fed far more than I'll ever be given in my life. It's not those who deserve money that are given it all the time but those who have the real power. It's called corruption and because of that there isn't enough for those who really do need it. I borrowed once for a loft conversion, it cost me far more than I expected and paid it off as soon as possible and never again. Loft conversions are one of the few areas where work done will on average return twice the investment if you paid a reasonable price, and I needed the space. But in the same situation again I'd move somewhere cheaper with the room already. I've learnt, will anyone else?

My crystal ball is now clear. It sees a horizon hours ahead and beyond that the assumption is based on inertia, that things will stay the same unless something moves one of them. Even watching the economy news has lost its appeal after doing some research. The recessions since the 30s have been so trivial to all but the unluckiest, and like climate change, I was totally unaware of their existence besides what I was told on the news. Except they were real unlike climate change (besides the fact it always does). What we have now is simply a worldwide shared debt based on unrestricted lending and the resulting carnage. No cause at all in the real world. No droughts, shortages or wars beyond the average. Just greed. The lenders were greedy and fed on greedy borrowers with apparently no end to the repayments based on property security which was worth half what was lent on it. I'm not an expert but that is the level of maths I did in kindergarten. They stuffed their heads in the sand and pretended it couldn't happen. So now world governments have decided the claim needed for benefits now includes corporate bankruptcy. Please start disapproving of others now, I could never compete with them.


Anonymous said...

I think is so sad that you claim not even one friend. How can you possibly not have one and how can you accept it? I believe you are the only person I have ever come across that was able say that. What a pitiful situation to be in and I have to wonder why and how it could be.

David said...

Sorry anon, like a conversation all we can do here is clarify what we've said as we go along.

Technically I still have quite a few friends. But I don't see them any more. One is in America now, one has a life divided between here and abroad, and others are just busy with their own and other families and not single people. There are others in the background I'd rather not see I could encourage who would just bore me stiff but it only takes one old or one new to arrive to fix that.

Until 2002 I had no trouble having friends and then it all collapsed overnight. Out of my hands but not as dire as I presented at least.