Thursday, June 17, 2010

Where I get to share a Nobel Prize

I return. Remember I still blog at FT in the virtuals so this is the wider and slightly less restrained version. Maybe more than slightly but it's not someone else's site so why not.

Besides the daily routine I've had the usual investigations of the current global warming scene, and had it been a film or book the quotes they've been tweeting would have been pure comedy. 'The effects of global warming on water' was my favourite today. Ever seen a kettle? Fuck me... Anyway, one by one people are sending me little messages from the #climatechange page encouraging me, apparently I'm not actually pissing people off but doing some kind of a service. You do not spend five years part time studying psychology and hypnosis without understanding human manipulation. The standard hypnotic phrases and sentences are so familiar to anyone who's done a weekend NLP (programming the mind) course it's incredible how these sheep retweet every single (little word you can guess at's) well-sponsored study about how you get more sand in your navel at the beach or walruses' moustaches are getting shorter thanks to global warming. My examples aren't actually any less incredible than the real ones, and the cashflow into these arseholes who know full well they'd be lecturing stoned students on a flat rate had this goldmine not come about should be diverted back to the poor people sequestred to pay their windfall wages. That's me and you by the way. That's why I take it all personally.

It's finally the dentist tomorrow, that'll be like Androcles and the lion for any claustrophobic like me, when the thorn has finally been removed from my mind. More work at my late grandma's Friday and no idea beyond. I hope I'll appreciate the normal days after tomorrow with no distractions from them any more. I do intend to anyway. And meanwhile they can give me a Nobel Prize for my services to global warming. I said 'there isn't any global warming' and like magic there wasn't. Sometimes the simple approach is the best. Cooling-warming- what's the difference really- it's all change anyhow!

No comments: