Friday, August 22, 2008

Hope has flown

What would I do without the internet? I was just looking up what Meatloaf was referring to do anything for love for, except 'that' when Wikipedia explained if you listen to all the words each verse was explaining what he would and wouldn't do except like nearly everyone else on earth, I've never been able to catch them. But now I know. And I always thought he meant anal sex. I wouldn't do that anyway. Not even for money.

Today was the first I couldn't even plan ahead as I'd wrung out the rag of ideas I've been squeezing out for months. Ten days passed since the female friend returned from holiday and not a squeak. I'm keeping out of the way as no call=boyfriend still around. No point banging my head against the wall there. Meanwhile the BBC used one of my photos on their website I took on Friday, so clearly moving up a level in voluntary artistic and media activity. After selling one set of postcards on Tuesday I'm doing the rest of the area tomorrow and the main thing is people like them so I'll hawk more around friends next once the shops are used up. I'd bought prints of loads of paintings of the same area from the gallery and plenty of people prefer photos to paintings but they take about a billionth of the time to create (1/125 of a second on average). Pretty good economy except the printing costs the same as you'd pay retail so all have to be sold at cost purely for the publicity.

I genuinely believe even if I hired a PR manager I couldn't find a woman at will by sheer planning as my family believe. Being limited to so few places for dates also puts me off meeting new ones as at least ones I've been out with before know what I'm like and don't expect everything. I do remember when I could do everything all it did was give us somewhere to go, it never made them like me any more or less wherever I took them. And at 40 plus many other people are happy to go out for tea or the park like the old farts we now are. And I do come across couples happy just to stay in and go at it like rabbits, like one I knew not that long ago myself. I suppose having Brent Cross shopping centre nearby has always been a fallback as I have yet to meet a woman not happy to spend an afternoon there, it seems to have everything they want besides a penis. I used to use IKEA in a similar way myself until there was no more room left for anything they sold there.

One thing we all like but really don't benefit from and I am currently lacking is hope. It clearly feels good to have a few possibilities ahead (which I currently don't) but having made lists few actually happen and those that do make little difference for very long. Mine for instance this year were a national newspaper article (no), the woman with the boyfriend (no) and my 4th TV programme (no). The work has been completed already on all but as Jesus would say, the seeds went into barren land. Like coming in your pants (excuse me). No chance of a result.
So having been raised even higher so I could be dropped from a higher level, I can see the pointless nature (as Buddha taught) of looking ahead to possible events. You dismiss the current normality and feel like shit when they don't happen. I was told the article may be used when the X Files film came out this month and the fuckers (damn, swore again!) wrote an identical article about other people instead of using mine. What is the bloody point and reason for that? The woman, like so many I know, would rather be with someone who appears to have come from a Stanley Kubrick film (ie The Shining) than me or even alone, and the TV programme was finally finished after the original firm went bust only for two of the cast to rebel over the new contract as they didn't understand it. Whether that can scupper an 8 episode series is something only those in the industry would know, but my legal knowledge says yes it can. It would both eliminate two episodes and bugger up the whole continuity as a result and impossible to go ahead without all parties agreement.

Yes, the first 3 went smoothly so not all doom and gloom, but even the stars panic when their careers go cold and mine's barely started. I can't believe once your photo's been seen by 4 million people in a daily paper then the locals and specialist papers won't pick it up, especially as I've been in them a number of times and know how easy it is to get in as so little happens round here. I'm perfectly aware being seen either abroad or on fringe channels will never get you recognised at home, but that's where most people start nowadays and the paper was the equivalent of getting one of them shown on Channel 4. The channel I was recognised on by everyone who knew me in 5 seconds on screen. It is powerful and once seen can never be undone, plus they are usually repeated ad infinitum, as mine certainly are now. My grandpa's main film (as a musician) is on about every year being made about 60 years ago. He died 10 years ago but he's still seen regularly as he got himself on TV. And the final chance is the social life it gets you as people suddenly want to meet you when they've seen you on TV, it's human nature.
So with all my hope gone I have to live in the present, which is good training, but with the nagging sense none of those or more will ever happen now I've missed all my chances. It's the pyramid scenario, the higher you get the less there is there, and the higher you aim the lesser the chances of getting there. Including presentable women. I may actually find it easier to end up on terrestrial TV and a national newspaper than get a woman. That doesn't show how easy it is to do that but how incredibly (I've used up the sweary points for today you see) difficult it is to get a decent woman. For me anyway.


Anonymous said...

How could you possibly come up with the otlandish idea that Meatloaf meant anal sex?! It's quite clear you don't know a damn thing about the song, even though you claim to have listened to it, but just didn't catch all the words. No, that is NOT like everyone else on earth either. Thousands of us have heard and caught those lyrics and it is a very poignant song. You've now put me off it and I have always loved that song and album.

David said...

Sorry anon, I didn't mean to put you or anyone off, but even his manager said people wouldn't get it, and has been the source of urban myths ever since it was released. And no, I don't try and hear lyrics unless I do catch them first time which I never did when I'd heard this, so if you go with the assumption the 'that' is not revealed in the song then what I guessed would pretty near the top of the list of guesses.'d_Do_Anything_for_Love_(But_I_Won't_Do_That)
But don't fret, he wouldn't do that!

David said...

Here's the operative sentence from the article:

"Although some people assume that "that" is an exophoric reference to a sex act, it is actually an anaphoric reference to the varying activities and feelings that are specified as antecedents in the lyric that the singer says that he won't do."

and "Jimmy always said, "You know what? Nobody's gonna get it." And he was right.
Meat Loaf"

Anonymous said...

David said: “And I always thought he meant anal sex. I wouldn't do that anyway. Not even for money.”


Wouldn’t do what? Give or receive? A normal man always wants to give; there’s not a hole on any woman that a normal man wouldn’t want to “fill”.

Give us break David, you have this supposed image of yourself as this great psychologist when in reality, you’re nothing but a pathetic loser. You probably wouldn’t have the foggiest idea about what to do during anal sex, or for that matter normal sex.

So keep on sitting there and using your hand…it’s probably the best sex partner you’ll have.

David said...

I think any attempt at humour would go right over your head. Try watching a Frank Skinner video on anal sex, people apparently do think it's funny but I wouldn't use that area myself in any capacity besides what it was made for. You sound like a true authority though and are welcome to your interest.

Thomas said...

I also am repulsed by anal sex. I'd equate it to sticking one's dong into the exhaust pipe of a '75 Cadillac.

Anonymous said...

Again something taken out of context to fit in with a sexual reference by you? When Jimmy Steinman said "You know what? Nobody's gonna get it.", he meant nobody is gonna get the poignancy and the story within the song. NOT the way you put it as just not getting the one particular phrase, the one you thought meant 'anal sex'. Below is what is also in that Wiki article and if you read it in the context in which it was written, you will see that.

---"Meat Loaf says that the question "what is 'that'?" is one of the most popular questions he is asked. In his 1998 VH1 Storytellers special, he even explained it on stage using a blackboard and a pointing stick. In a 1993 promotional interview, Steinman states that the definition of "that" is fully revealed in the song in each of the several verses in which it is mentioned.

It's sort of is a little puzzle and I guess it goes by - but they're all great things. 'I won't stop doing beautiful things and I won't do bad things.' It's very noble. I'm very proud of that song because it's very much like out of the world of Excalibur. To me, it's like Sir Lancelot or something - very noble and chivalrous. That's my favorite song on the record - it's very ambitious."---

Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on something that might be 'silly' to you, but as I said, there is a lot of meaning in this song. I suppose it might be too deep for you or, perhaps, you tend to see something sexual in everything you hear and read because you are obviously consumed with it? Maybe I should say consumed with the lack of IT ie sex and the tunnel vision of finding a partner?

David said...

I did read the whole piece myself, and the only significant part is 'some people think he's referring to a sexual act'. All the rest is background.
I'm sorry if I spoiled your enjoyment but if something's ambigous then that's just how it is. I don't intend carrying out a survey to test the results, there's more than enough data in the article already.

If I didn't think about sex so much mind you there would really be something for me to worry about. It's how we're supposed to be, thank goodness.