Tuesday, February 16, 2010

For the other agoraphobics here

I am currently kicking my heels until I go out in a couple of hours (more of that later), it's been raining all day so housework and internet quizzes etc until the time comes to go. My bedroom is tidier than it's been since it was built and most of the washing up has been done. I'm also busy on various global warming threads in forums, and the latest lies the IPCC have been caught accepting from any twat who agrees with their ends mean to me if anyone still believes them they should be put in group care.
Someone just turned up one of the best old signs there is on a private road, but seen in 1992. Now I have to go and check at the weekend just in case as the rules didn't affect private roads.

Spending a day alone with your fears is a form of mediation as you clearly see every possible thing you imagine can go wrong when you go out later. Mainly based on very rare but terrifying past experiences then they become the focus simply because that is human nature, magnified many thousands of times in phobics. Technically if it doesn't stop you going somewhere then it's the same as fear of flying, many people have it but still go ahead. But not having to suffer in advance would be nice for a change. The old tablets helped for years until the return after a long gap caused problems preventing their use again. The new ones are quite different but don't affect the thoughts very much like the others did.
Being older and more independent there are also far fewer such events as I simply turn down most others as any mature person is entitled to do. Something I learnt only relatively recently. Anyone who takes offence can screw themselves and aren't worthy of worrying about as I never would in their position.

Anyway, the time is getting closer so half the stress will be over, the run up to such events is always as bad, if not worse if they turn out to be relatively harmless. I'm well beyond caring about it or worse still imagining I can fix it, and as it happens so rarely now just one of those things sent to try us. But remember, for those lucky enough not to suffer, agoraphobia doesn't stop you going out unless severe, it is a morbid fear of it. Quite different in practice.


diver said...

Yeah, you've pretty much explained the Tao of the geezer agoraphobic there David. Getting out is the easy part. The anticipation of going ... that's the bitch.

David said...

I was pretty good on some days especially once I'd agreed just to go in and do the work and then bugger off. I was only there just over half an hour in the end and got them all done nicely. No celebrities there but the photos could make the paper if I'm lucky.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/satguru/sets/72157623325764937/ all here.