Friday, February 19, 2010

On the edge

Plenty of progress already, although I didn't begin mixing with any celebrities (the list of contributors to the book was impressive) I've not just done my first photo shoot but had it approved. Though I was happy with them didn't automatically mean the receiver would. Now the other part of the question is whether it'll make the national paper, and I won't know for a week or more on that one. It was meant to be mentioned in this week's but I haven't seen it the first time I looked but won't affect the photos either way. I'm also on the edge of another possible very important old sign I'm checking on Sunday, so never know until I do.

Otherwise it's been a fairly easy time, I'm still clearing my late grandma's house out (two people, 99 year's of stuff in her case), and am showing the first possible buyer once the little bit of work has been done in a week or two. The house was theirs from 1975 when it was built till last year, and I often stayed there as well. But it just became a house when empty.
No other plans really, I can easily piss around for a couple of days between visits to my (separate) parents, the only close relatives I now have. Starting with seven, plus two great grandparents, first my grandpa died in 1965, grandma 1 in 1975, uncle in 1995, grandpa 2 in 1998 and finally grandma 2 in 2009 at 99. My great grandma lasted till 1975 at 94, who I saw regularly throughout. Now if I don't have children, or least of all get married I don't know what I'll do with no one at all left. I won't think about it, and realise even trying to plan for it by vetting women to move in with is a total waste of effort as I hadn't managed it yet just because I made the effort. I can think of a few who are single and acceptable but can't see how the ones I know already are ever going to change their minds. So I'd have to meet someone from scratch and I very rarely do that any more.

After two years of chronic fatigue with the associated infections I really appreciate shopping now. I always liked it but could barely do a thing and thought I may never be able to do what used to come with no effort at all. Now I also appreciate just speaking to the people in the shops as well now as many days they're the only people I do. Now I am able to do it again it's like getting the use of my legs back after an accident and even enjoy Brent Cross for the odd wander around, although I did used to go there for hours until the novelty finally wore off. And they got rid of the Orangery in Fenwicks which was my favourite. Nowadays I've bought everything I need long since, so just the everyday things which run out like food and stuff for the house. At least I appreciate more ordinary things as they are the large part of everyone's life, as well as the area I live, after many years wanting to try elsewhere. In 1988 I did that simply as I couldn't afford locally and realised I may as well have bought a flat on Mars. And not even the chocolate. When you're isolated you realise the pull of the ordinary, Finchley, Highgate, Crouch End etc, and wherever else I go I'll be further and further away from these places I've been to all my life.

The people online who went abroad either hate London or look back with nostalgia, and I think if they have such fond memories why not come back? Half the time our house prices have exceeded everywhere else so much that once you've dropped out of the market forever. That won't happen to me. I don't even care about holidays any more as if I'm free I'm happier wandering around locally and although I'm unlikely to meet anyone I know there (not that I often did, it is London after all), and do wonder how many other people really feel the same or would prefer to go away whenever possible?

So generally I'm still on the edge of many things, fame (people take the pee but like to know how many of them have even got as far as I have), being in a newspaper, another old sign etc, although the biggest current ones, being in a book and doing the photos have happened now. I did just read a woman became a TV extra at 60 and is still going at 98. You never know.

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