Sunday, May 08, 2005


Alcohol? Who needs alcohol! I have found blogging has the same effect on myself and many others of reducing virtually all inhibitions, and allows years of suppressed emotions and thoughts to flood out on the page, and long may it continue. It probably not only reduces our blood pressure but may even entertain a few other people as well.

Following from that idea, I was just highly entertained by a fellow bloggers entries (I'm sure he knows who he is, I won't name him in case), and haven't seen such unrestrained filth for years. But as a mirror it only reflected what was also in my own soul, which is why I found it so entertaining. I am restrained here in politeness (not sure why actually, probably the way I was brought up) but have had to reel back my unrestraint in mental catharsis as if this was my therapist I was speaking to. Giving truth drugs, alcohol or LSD will have similar effects, but we don't need poison, just give us an empty page and a keyboard and the gates shall open.

Saying that, what is my catharsis today? Resolving conflict, as the vicar says, is todays sermon theme. Why? Because that's what's happening with a number of people at the moment. I said earlier I have problems communicating to people who are being a pain but may explode if mentioned directly. Well I tried dropping hints, which had no effect, and then just laid low. That just delayed the same effect, resulting in calls eventually 'Where are you' etc. So I had to say why. Believe me, some people really had no idea they weren't actually everyone's best friend and welcome partner, and couldn't understand what it was about them that made me prefer my computer. But the good news is they haven't left in disgust, but all made efforts to resolve the situation sooner or later. There is some meeting point in the middle, and though I am happy to let people go with no hard feelings, others would prefer to make a big deal of it. I've been 'let go' hundreds of times and as people are in too high a supply to ever be short of new ones, I see it as moving on. Of course, when people you like leave the country or die it's different, as it leaves a hole, but it still can't be changed and the new people are different but still can fill the hole more or less.

Back to the inspiration, the scatological humour I read isn't that far from my own, though there are really only so many ways of recycling faeces and other bodily excreta before you reach the start again. Just seeing someone write about farts can sometimes set me off when I'm in the right mood anyway, but I do know Monty Python, which made me laugh more than just about anything else (though I was in my early teens and younger) didn't use any rude words. Many since have, and also been hilarious, it just showed they could be without as well. I can do it if encouraged, more in the childish 9 year old 'What's that smell?' sort of way. The Mexican comedian who simply reels off lists of rude words has me in stitches, no real jokes, just lists of slang words for whatever part of the body he's mentioning. We are simple souls at heart, and my sense of humour was permanently regressed when a group of kids on holiday still wanted me to repeat my old routine the year after I'd stopped finding it funny. How was I to deny the laughter of a bunch of 12 year olds with the simple mention of piles and manure. Of course, after a few minutes I was back into it all myself, and never got out of it. The simple things, and what could be easier to laugh at than that? No need for alcohol, just hear a fart and crap yourself laughing.

While I'm here, a few more relevant observations, the phrase 'Going to the toilet in your pants' is a complete misnomer. You can't do both, can you? What, of course, it actually means is 'Going number ones/twos in your pants' but the British, who always remove one phrase for another on a 'higher level' eg 'Crippled > Handicapped > Disabled > Differently abled... ad infinitum/nauseam. Please, spastic, cripple, mongol, moron, imbecile, see,I said them. These were medical terms not so long ago with specific meanings. Get a few million kids who pick them up and use them in the playground and the whole of medical terminology has to be rewritten. In a few years they'll still have to change 'you bloody ethnic minority' or 'you differently gendered person' once they in turn are the going terms for what we call 'foreigners' or 'transsexuals'. That's human nature and the PC brigade can't deny or fight against it. We breathe, we comment on people who are different. That's how it is, that's how it's always been. It doesn't mean a lot as if we go to the countries of those we insult here they'll more than likely do the same to us. Or even blow us up if they put their money where there mouth is. I'm not going to fight human nature en masse, just deal with any example directed at myself man to man. That's the best any of us can do. So George Galloway our latest madman in power can piss off to the Middle East, convert to Islam and practice there what he preaches here. But he won't, he's just happy to fuel his obsession with Islam from home and god forbid actually live in an Islamic country. He's obviously profiting from this attitude somehow as it's clearly not just a personal quest, but it's just a sad example of the sort of difference between who should be running a country and who actually is. Thank goodness the internet's still free speech or I'd be in the cells already...

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