Friday, May 13, 2005

Nothing but trivia

Well, I'm free at last, sod all to do with it now... A series of intermittent crap events have been happening ever since though, I just have to deal with them individually but apart from that I've had very little to do besides trivial rubbish.

In the last few days my grandma's now famous watch packed up again, followed by my computer. But the good news was both were fixed while I waited at no cost, unlike the first times these were minor glitches with major effects. So I was driving like a lunatic between Kenton and Golders Green, and then to my grandma to deliver the watch. I'm sorry that's all I can report, that's all there is at the moment, I really do have to up my meditation as the whole point is it's a practice that works independently of what's going on in your life or not. Anyway, it's such a relief to get my computer back, I was without it since 8pm last night and as there was nothing on TV I really struggled to think of anything else to do. I actually spent 4 hours trying to fix it, ran every programme I could between freezes but nothing worked, it turned out the mouse had worn out (too many video games I suppose) and has the ability to crash the whole system until it's replaced.

So, philosophy today? I have little to work on. I did notice that my current situations reflect in my general attitude to life, so if one bad thing is happening I tend to see the whole of life in that context. I didn't always, but now there's no one or little else to distract me, all my awareness is focused on whatever's going on at the moment, and when it's not up to much, then life feels like it.

Meanwhile now I'm free the people I couldn't see when I wasn't have somehow evaporated. So yesterday night I was sitting twiddling my thumbs (no computer to occupy them, or TV remote), and now I've become invisible. The one high spot was a caller to LBC, our local phone in station, who I emailed in November after hearing her for 20 years actually replied to me with apologies for the delay. She was my favourite caller of all time, as she made everything she said sound so interesting that it inspired me to see similar interest in everyday things myself. With one of the sexiest voices on radio as well. Maybe she'll reach my blog sooner or later to read it as well. The week ahead (I can't really know, but there's a skeleton of plans) seems a continuation of the same, though to be honest the next 40 years does.

I'll conclude this post with a reply to anyone with advice (in advance). My observations of social interaction, having been part of various community centres all my life is thus. You join a community centre normally as part of a class of people with a common interest. In the first few meetings you classify everyone into the people you'd rather have the least and most to do with, and I can say that in all the years of art, pottery, geology, gym, shamanic practice, meditation and voluntary work, as well as my years of postgrad studies I may have made a couple of new friends and no girlfriends (this wasn't because I suck but the lack of single women). Most of my friends were picked up from school, my annual holiday in Devon, and my parent's friends' children. Singles groups are even worse, certainly in England, as there are so few, most are spread far and wide and very few people are under 50 in the few I ever tried. Basically I'm not avoiding or missing any opportunity. If I do a class now I do it for the subject, not the talent. So as things are, I see it as the weather, I don't try and control it, don't worry about other's predictions as they're rarely accurate, and just have to carry on and take whatever it presents. Every now and then we get a really good day when we're not working and somewhere to make the most of it, and that's the same with other opportunities. They just drop in to your life. Miracles aren't created by planning, money is. Business and pleasure, opposite rules for both. See, once I start the philosophy is never far beneath the surface. I just hope it's actually helpful to anyone who reads it as well, I don't write it for my own benefit as I know it already.

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