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Well, I'll start with the good news, all the tests are now back and my grandma's fine now. Not a bug or organ damage in sight. I am so relieved after the doctor said a few real nasties were possible a few days ago. She's going to a convalescent home for a couple of weeks on Friday, which should allow her to go home without a carer, which she never wants again after the last one (who seemed fine to me, but it was more a matter of principle).

I've just been watching Paul Mckenna treat a woman with agoraphobia, the full version where she hadn't been anywhere really for 5 years. She was able to go to London and Piccadilly Circus after a few treatments, which I found very impressive as a long term but mild sufferer myself. Only tablets worked for me so far, but the effects lasted a couple of years after coming off them. Mine is more an exlusive type, ie I'm fine except for places on my 'list' (which does vary depending on times), as opposed to her inclusive, which included everywhere outside the house. This is just a severe version of mine, an extension of the list until it includes every situation. My theory is if you can find a partner with the same type of problem you can both keep away from these places together and not, as the couple in the programme found, hold the other back. Just a theory...

I also managed to get through very easily to James Whale on Talk Sport to ask him to check out skygong (as I'd promised Skylord), and if he was to take up the offer it may spread the word my side of the Atlantic as well. She can be found on Skylord's page and the treatment I had (the 10 minute sample) is free and lasts permanently. I have also written a letter to Tatjana Blacher after tracking down an address, I found another bunch of photos and considering I hadn't seen her for about 36 years as (for unknown reasons) I didn't have any photos myself, brought back some pretty amazing memories. My mum now says she drew a picture of her, so she's digging that up for me to see as well. I'm not sure how but they all spoke very good English even then though they've always lived in Germany. I just hope I don't get a reply of 'Gey avek in d'r erd' or 'Gey schlug zi kopf on vant' (OK, that's Yiddish, but if a German told me to bury myself or bang my head against a wall I'm sure it wouldn't be that different).
I was also sent a link to a new magazine on therapy and spirituality, which is what I write on already, asking for volunteers. I sent a quick resume, and it'll be great to have another outlet for my writing, though I haven't a clue what to write so far besides borrow some topics from my booklet I wrote 10 years ago. I daren't write a thing about enlightenment as I only know what I've been taught by people who do know.

On a similar subject, the filming is due to finish on the Discovery TV series next month, and having dreamt about being on TV for half my life, just one more month to possibly hear the official schedule seems like very soon. I did have many dreams about being on Big Brother around the time of Jon Tickle in 2003, and totally unexpectedly found myself meeting a series of housemates, followed by a film crew a year later, so I hope my present dreams of numerous TV appearances will be equally prophetic. No one really knows where our ambitions come from, but I've had this one a very long time, and it just seems they're part of our personality as much as based on anything we've experienced later on in life, as there was never any particular event that started me off on it, and expect many other people with burning ambitions picked them up out of the blue.