Wednesday, August 31, 2005

A bit of everything

Nothing special today, except I've passed through a little gauntlet of chaos/demands, and maybe I'll have a break from it for a while now. I am at least learning how to manage my own reactions to it at last, which is quite a big deal, and have been forced to restrict my obligations to a level I can handle, 'or else', as my body's recently told me.

The second painting's now ready, and both should be on their way to the gallery as soon as they've been copied for my own collection. They can all be seen now in the pictures section at rather than post them here as well each time. So my unpaid and recreational occupations, as predicted in 2000, are finally beginning to be used properly, and proved my point that not working does not equal wasting time. Quite the opposite. If most people had a choice they'd drop out as well, and probably create the things they never got the chance to do when they were working. We can't help it, we're designed to learn and study and create, and though some will piss around or commit crimes when given total freedom, they would probably be doing that anyway one way or another. OK, we need people to do essential jobs, but many are not essential, eg advertising, marketing, doing ridiculous surveys, Elvis impersonators, headhunters (people look for their own work), cold callers (ditto with shopping), and many insurance staff (as if each company paid their own client's claims each would cancel the others out eventually). This method is already used in a few countries as it happens but never caught on worldwide. I could keep thinking of jobs that had only ever existed as people were forced to use their imaginations not to fill holes in the market, but create new and pointless areas in a desperate struggle to earn a living somehow.

Anyway, I can expand on that another time, it's an old grouse of mine and one I can argue from every angle as thank goodness enough individuals do exist who can work as long as slaves and seem to have no human qualities at all otherwise they couldn't carry on. Not the poor, but the rich, who want to be very rich by working 100 hours a week. Good luck to them, I can't imagine how they do it but I come across enough to know it must be a different species, as I probably am...

Otherwise little has happened of any note, I suspect one project is as the November the 5th rocket that sits in the bottle for a few minutes fizzing before it goes out and you realise it's a dud. My heart unfortunately is so far ahead of other's heads, let alone mine, my almost total lack of restrictions in affairs of the heart means I regularly come up against total negative reactions to my interest as what's suitable for me, as I said recently, is rarely felt to be suitable for them, as they see the restrictions and I see the possibilities. So the possibilities are always there, but those who only see the restrictions avoid thinking about them.
Whether this will continue till I'm as old as the recently late Scotty from Star Trek, (just discovered he was Canadian, for gawd's sake!) and literally go out with a bang. As Woody Allen would have said had I not got there first, I lost my virginity at 16, I got it back at 24... He'd probably have said he was the only boy at his school to suffer from penis envy, but thank goodness I never had to worry about that one!

So can I come to any sort of conclusion from today's mixed pile of confusion? I have just experienced another coincidence typical of the synchronicity I experience more and more. I have been writing a 30 question live trivia quiz for my weekly group, and while I was scrolling through the player's names, clicked on one and saw a quiz I liked, and at the end was my question. Both were four multiple choices, and she'd evne got two of the three same wrong choices as well. She'll probably take my quiz next week, and I wonder if she'll wonder whether it was her question, considering I've only taken 100 quizzes and the total choices are about 70,000 I could have taken.
OK, a conclusion, like many spiritual seekers, my greatest goal is to never feel I am alone. Technically it's called 'God-realisation', as anyone who has passed a certain level in meditation is aware of a greater presence, and having been gradually more alone in life until total, knowing somehow I was connected to something with an awareness, aware of what I was doing and me aware of its presence would make me feel a lot better in life. Synchronicity implies that power is guiding your day towards certain experiences and opportunities to learn and help others, and one day, when you've passed their test, they let you see them. But the test is unlikely to be what you think it is, as what they look for before you qualify for higher awareness is not something we can really guess at, as the qualities of those claiming it are a pretty varied bunch, some getting it with no effort at all, others simply through years of effort and little else. I, at least, have reached the second stage of seeking, where I have all my tools and teachers, and am just committed to use those tools in the hope they do what it says on the tin. Sometimes I am quickly made aware they are opening up an awareness of something better, which is really the third stage I suppose, but so rarely yet after a day or so I tend to doubt as I'm back to my normal crap consciousness. So I carry on and it's quite possible these moments will increase in frequency or intensity, and when you reach the pivot point, you then realise you're there and it is real.

Then you write the book!

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