Thursday, August 11, 2005

More chaos

Blimey- the dust has settled a bit this evening but it's been a week from hell but somehow I still more or less OK. That in itself is fair compensation as it somehow means I am starting to handle stress better than I did, and that’s a first for some time. I crashed my car badly last week on a parking bollard a few inches from it and when I returned home the gutter had fallen down. I now discovered, not surprisingly, all 100 feet of it after about 70 years has all rotted and it, costing me more than my car did to repair and my neighbour who saw roughly when it fell down pointed out if I'd been at the front door it would probably have killed me so at least that’s impossible now it's all been taken away.

Otherwise little has really happened. I’ve nearly finished my first picture for the gallery , heard nothing about the two articles I sent off to the new magazine, got a bunch of bills and a few comments on my blog that were made privately. That is a way it can be done, but comments on this may as well be shared as other people may have an opinion as well. I have made another bundle of email friends on Funtrivia, it proves there are my sort of people out there and not so rare either, but just avoiding most of this country. I will add Eugene from Big Brother, who just may have ruined his chances of winning by accepting £50,000, at the expense of any actual winner. I was amazed he had the balls actually I still want him to win but am worried this would have alienated many of his fans who like his ‘nice guy’ image. Well at least even the nice guys can have hidden depths, and that’s one up for the geeks. Both him and Jon Tickle from BB4 are my kind of people, partly because I recognize many of my own qualities in them, love them or hate them. If Eugene writes a blog on leaving the house that’ll be one person who rambles more than me. Unlike him I always have one eye on my audience and am prepared to shift tack if their eyes are glazing over. But his idea of having a quiz programme for anoraks with himself and Derek hosting and a couple of other like minded individuals. Who on earth would make such a perfect team one which could become equated with The Beatles. Could it include also Jon Tickle and myself? That would be the ultimate in human trivia machines. It would be the most awesome team since me and a few friends used to tackle the pub trivia machines in the 80s though in the end I did best just with my father and won about a jackpot.

But of course most of these traits run in the family and both my parents consistently scored higher in general knowledge in Mastermind than the contestants. The major difference is they were both natural academics especially my father, while I struggled with any subject I didn't find came easily. This led to my career fizzling out before discovering a chartered profession I actually stand a chance of passing. Instead I went for money and prestige and as a result aimed far too high, and a few years later settled into counselling which I enjoy the most and makes the least money for the footsoldiers. Unless they required maths at O level, I could have spent another year studying to be a social worker or librarian at my original polytechnic would have set me up for life in a reasonable job that would pay my bills and allow me to do other things if I could. I went for accountancy failed followed by law refused at last fence by choice and then took a total of 15 years to complete my counselling studies as that's the system. I didn't piss around. I only saying this as I find myself at a total crossroads in my career, as all the things I started doing have stopped earning and as the psychic told me in 2000 my hobbies are eventually becoming my profession. As long as I can pay the bills I'm fine regardless as long as I'm not suffering to do so. But I'm not any more. If I had a wife and kids they'd be suing me for misrepresentation as a bread winner. I just see it as an unavoidable experience not the end of the world but when I get a bill for a large proportion of my total money it reminds me with a big kick in the arse.

I am actually trying to maintain a theme in my posts now once I get going on one this is a total work in progress and it's interesting how a select few take the odd remark I make so deadly seriously when little I ever say is deadly serious. If I wanted to depress myself and everyone else I could write a deadly serious piece but I only take survival issues seriously and that's pretty average. I will admit and it is an official technique if used carefully. I often see funny sides to some of my client's problems and mentioned elsewhere yesterday if anyone can see a funny side to any shit I may be in it can often be the best form of therapy. Imagine some person sitting at home or at work being harrassed by a parent or workmate or arguing with their partner over who doing the housework. Bugger me-unless we became hermits these situations happen to everyone, but some take them too darn seriously and as a contrast, I have to laugh inwardly sometimes at them. I freely admit that on paper if there was a contest I’d probably have far more problems than most of my clients. But I can help theirs, and my problems have no role when I’m working. But if I could swap places with half of them with their families, wives, good jobs children etc etc I would, but the difference is I will appreciate these if they happen having been partially removed from them for some time, they tend to expect more, and take the assets they do have for granted. I’m not criticizing anyone, as I used to take the same things for granted myself until I lost them, and would never again as I know what they mean to me now. But the message is to make the most of the people and jobs you do have as they aren’t a given and many people don’t have one or both.

I’d take my friend Steve’s whingeing girlfriend like a shot if she’d have me, he doesn’t fancy her, she treats him like shit and they've been fighting for well over ten years. I'd give her a trial run to see if she could be played like a violin or buck like a bronco and make my final decision, thumbs up or down. She is an evil bitch granted, but a sexy one and could probably be good company if groomed into civilisation. He moans about her endlessly, but fought like a wounded bull to get her back the two times she chucked him. It was like losing his heroin supply. But he only reflects a lesser level in many other couples. They’d never split up, but revel in running the other down whenever they have the chance. If I wanted to run down anyone I wouldn’t be their friend or partner. You choose them so choose again if that's the case. So today's bottom line guys is look at the jewels in your own box for what they are and don't worry about other's. You may not have them for ever so recognize what they are and enjoy them while you can. I didn't, and am paying the price now and freely admit it. And as Maharaji said ‘try and learn from other people’s mistakes rather than your own it’s a lot less trouble. There endeth the lesson

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