Thursday, March 25, 2010

My arse...

The old cliche of post coital depression applies to any other high when surrounded by lows after the event. I've achieved a heck of a lot recently but each time I get something it adds to my collection and no more. The attitude of the returnee to the gym that I can get anything and anyone I want may be his belief but I've yet to know how he expects anyone to do it. Short of accosting strangers it's not likely via agencies and groups just attract people interested in a subject who are rarely single. If I find out his formula (I bet...) I'll pas it on, although he's more likely to give me a personal regime to go with it if I ask.
Of course it's a relief to know I've filled so many gaps in my collection and increased my media work but it's not affecting my life either. I think the fact I'm gradually starting to go out and see a few people again is something, although it was quite normal till a few years ago for various reasons it all but stopped, and like shopping I now appreciate all I do whoever I have to tolerate to do so.
But the last thing I want is the peaks to stop, but you need the lasting levels to really improve your life, the rest are extras.

Underneath we all want the same things, not the ways we get them but how they make us feel. The route we take is based on our own interests and preferences but all designed to maximise the quality of life. I have my own template, my family life till my mother left and the people I saw every year on holiday for 21 years. Both were located in the best areas which makes a lot of difference and of course when you're finally kicked out of the family home (we all were as my parents got divorced and the house was sold) unless something's made you a millionaire you have to start from the bottom. I'm now where my parents would have been after maybe 10 years, so haven't done too badly, but knowing the missing parts from experience am fully aware when they aren't present. Other people hate family life and home and would rather travel, but they look for the same out of it as I do from hanging about locally with friends and family. And far better you're happy with what's here and now than have to go all over the place to look for it.

All I hope is my life creeps or even jumps closer to this ambition, whether or not I appear to be controlling it. Like Monday, I looked in places online for signs but not up to me if someone's put them there. I'm only the hunter, I haven't planted the gold as well. Until I'm enlightened when I'll be it all.


diver said...

Yeah, highs and post coital lows, it's all pretty cyclic I think. It's just a bit more pronounced for folks with MH conditions I think. Not that they're all 'MH Conditions' anyway, often just sensitive folks buffeted by their cyclicity.

'... the fact I'm gradually starting to go out and see a few people ...' Onya David. Things lead to things ...

All the best with the creeps and jumps!

David said...

Thanks Diver, it's incredibly similar to having to learn to walk again after an accident. I could do nearly all these things already and then stopped. The last time there were medical reasons that meant I wasn't fit to do most of the things and as it lasted so long was quite foreign to me to do them again after a couple of years. I have to add each place at a time now before they seem normal again. As long as my friends understand then I'm OK with it.