I have to moan sometimes

So far the week has been a combination of routine and a blown TV (my first new one, only about 5 years old) and then a desperate runaround to get a spare before I lost track of Neighbours. I got one in the end (about 35 years old) but will save me having to spend money immediately as they're never worth fixing now unless they cost a fortune new. I'm supposed to waste another afternoon tomorrow going to Bushey to take a photo of my grandparent's gravestone, there is a picture but apparently easier to send me to do a new one than look for it. I've taken every possible photo between here and there (at least 10 miles) and no need or wish to return. My conclusion that I've completed my collection of tools for coping with the physical and now need to add the spritual ones is correct. There are no more tricks I know for survival and they're nowhere near enough. I'll never get where I want just with them, and can only do as many spiritual practices as I can now as nothing else will get me anywhere.

I still have absolutely no plans, it would have been nice to be free tomorrow (I could go another day if I think of an alternative) and have to find a way to make the free times less boring as technically if there's nothing wrong I should be happy but it wears off after a while. I really need better. Nothing's become of my latest article but can keep sending it around in case, like any other publication. I suppose if I wrote a guide to masturbation or guesses which nationality has the largest wedding tackle I could get a job for life but I'm not lowering my standards for crap I turn over whenever I see it.

Having said all that in just over a year now despite a few gaps and turds (who doesn't get them?) the guidance has to have been present since it began. The way things just happen when I need them whatever I do, and one leads to another in such complex ways where one link missing would stop the end result tells me I must now be on the right track. Near the end I don't know, but on a mission. And I am doing spiritual teaching now, not to do with enlightenment (although I do explain Nick Roach's method to anyone interested but that's his teaching and not mine), but more the supernatural which I am capable of doing. When asked (not to me) what qualifications do we have the answers vary, but mine combines a formal training in all sorts of mental therapies, healing, and psychic development. The meditation I've learnt is for my own benefit although only on the margins of that when it happens. I'd do it a lot more again otherwise.
My own psychic development is stuck at the minor powers anyone can do, and little use to me except to show other people it's possible as an inspiration. I'll keep working on the big stuff, and the handful of people who claim such things demonstrates the huge gap between basic and advanced. But if I keep having to rely on the trivial shit around me every day and actually care about it then my life won't have meant very much in the end. That's why I need to transcend the mundane but for all I know it's not even possible. But the clues are there.