Different angles?

How many angles can you see a situation from? From here things are just exactly as they are. Dead, with no hope of any changes ahead. Zen sees it as something to be transcended as it's only whne we give value to anything do we suffer from it. But that's how we are made, things feel good or bad until we learn to find the tiny gap between awareness and reaction, let it expand and no longer be affected by it.
But that may take many years if even possible, and we still have to suffer until then. That's not my choice, that is how every one of us is designed, we have to start by assigning a positive or negative value to every feeling, and then a few in the world at any one time learn to overcome that tendency.

So today's situation of nothing now and no hope ahead is a true test of whether I can be shown any new angles to look at it from. Hope is a devious bugger anyway, as the times something good really happened it rarely announced itself in advance, it just turned up suddenly. Of course when something's timetabled like my TV programme you have something to cling to, but these are incredibly rare peak experiences with no guaranteed benefits afterwards. I can only tell it how it is but could I describe today in not only an interesting way but a positive one? That's my test.

All I did was work and go to my grandma. I earned a little money, but that was it. There's no more I can add to such a day in way of spicing up the description besides a grandma style detailed version, adding I had lunch nearly 4pm and swapped my flickr photos to photobucket for forum use to free up 20 more spaces. But though there's no real need to spice up the report, there is a need to put a positive slant on it.

This week ahead is truly dire, appointments range from a quick dental appointment (an hour's journey away) to a tombstone setting (our wonderful Jewish second funeral as if attending once wasn't bad enough) and fuck all worth doing in between. That doesn't acknowledge the impossibility to be in the future so not that realistic, but looking forward to something good or bad has been found to be one of the biggest causes or cures for stress, so it does count in the dual world of the illusion. And I have nothing nice ahead and plenty not nice. And no foundations to protect me of a family at home. Thank goodness as long as my physical health remains OK I'll never mind quite as much about the rest of things. But I still have to be here now and when it's empty, boring and offers nothing but what I've mentioned, it's no fun.

So, readers, today's task, should you dare to accept it, is where the hope is now, where I can't see any. And when I look ahead I can't see any indefinitely. Unless my friend in America tells me he plans to return and gives a date in his next email there is none, and that isn't realistic either though rough hints have been dropped and then contradicted. I'm going to finish my painting next time I'm free (Thursday with any luck) and that's about it.
Discovering people can extend their senses at times has been little or no benefit to me either. If I could see auras the world would be not only more interesting but then I may start learning what they mean and using it to help people. But the clairvoyance and telepathy is little practical use, and the people who can't do it couldn't care less others can, as I discovered.

Looking ahead to after the 'non-events' this week is no help either as that just wastes the week between now and then, and further takes me away from the present. Looking at now as recommended is being done, but I see boredom when I watch my feelings and nothing more. That's whether I stop and look or not, it's become so strong it's overwhelming at times, and if I try and distract myself i think of the dentist which is a million times worse, so it's back to boredom.

Then I can go to bed early (no need really tonight but should do just in case something wakes me early as it did today) but that is so depressing it makes me worse.
Anyway, I present today exactly as it is from here, and if there is any hope hidden in it I'll be extremely impressed if anyone can point it out.