Friday, March 31, 2006

Filling the space

The day has passed, I'm glad to say, as I no longer have a dental appointment left on my little card. One phobia more people can relate to than any other so I don't feel isolated with that one at least.
Spent a decent session in the gym which is near there so the coin has an upside as well. Excuse the colour variations but this software changes colour when you press enter, and it looks more interesting to leave the errors in than correct it to all brown. I won't do whole colour design this time as I have other things to work on.

One website I was directed to has tied the two threads of bliss and enlightenment together. True enlightenment, I am told, is simply the non-big-deal awareness that I am the awareness not the person. That is easy to see, to focus on the space rather than the filling, but has no effect on the witness when pointed out. Meditation however brings bliss at times with no new insights, but rarely lasts. Then this site explains the path.

1) Point out we can be empty awareness

2) hold this till it becomes our dominant perspective

3) then it may grow and become constant

and finally... 4) then the bliss may come

Phew! I always wondered how two such different schools could work so closely together, I think I know now, though some bright spark will say I got it wrong sooner or later.

----------------------------------------------

Rather than double and triple post for new subjects as some do, I'll use the colour scheme as a chapter device. I wanted to see how I could write a post beyond mentioning the two things I did in a whole day and see what happened.

As I don't have to be up tomorrow (though the kitchen bits will wake me up Saturday morning) I may as well enjoy my freedom while I have it. Writing is good therapy for me, as many others. The Funtrivia blog has brought so many more members out of the shadows I'm learning more about them every day. Pity there isn't even one like them near me though...
Other bits and bobs, I think the official title of the Pyewackett song I am trying to find a recording of by others (as they only did it for the radio) is 'The wind blows high', and is a traditional skipping song, which must have been split into that song and 'Tell my ma' as it is a combination of the two. One is easy to find, the other is written online, played on schools radio occasionally, but apparently unknown by any folk group who make recordings. I'll keep looking.

Otherwise (see how the programme has been set up, same as MS word) it's freedom city Arizona (though a couple of distant social arrangements may emerge soon I am in partial control of them so not a big problem). Tomorrow I could do my paperwork (probably wait till Saturday), finish my painting (should do), go for a walk (will if dry), in the time before I go out later in the day. Saturday is the artificially created day Flickr allow me to post my new photos (what a rule but beggars can't be choosers), so I'll be able to see what the groups think of them as well as see their latest additions. Like nostalgia, seeing a photo of the places you see all the time still feels good. Any good moment becomes nostalgic instantly when played back on camera, moving or still. Just how it is.

So, that is it really, I should be asleep now and am doing three things at once so can't concentrate, but am able to be in the moment as there's better here now than anything I see beyond, for a bleeding change I'll add. It can't last too long as I'm off to bed, and who knows what tomorrow brings, though I am finding after real obligations it is becoming easier to bang away other arrangements like a baseball bat if they don't appeal to me, and not even need to make excuses. What the hell for? Life's too short to fanny around with people you don't want to see or places you don't want to be in. Why waste your life as people want to do things you don't? So I am growing and learning there, the first time in my life I can do that, and am maybe being sent a few little ones to learn easily and practice. You don't go through what I have without learning damage limitation a lot better, and maybe a few people will even respect me for that, standing up for myself (diplomatically though). Assertive.
Meanwhile I also return to awareness at times, and will continue to as you can't stop half way through any mission that promises so much. It's little trouble to return to what you feel now and stay with it, and may see better what the reason for doing it is, as the earlier one was 'enlightenment/becoming awareness' which really had little I could hang on to it. Awareness expanding to bliss is everything. Our true nature and higher consciousness. I was using two methods, one for each, as wasn't sure I could get either from the other ways, but now maybe I can.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Feels good to finally say no to people and obligations. Doesn't it?