Thursday, August 03, 2006

Collective experiences

This is darn weird. I'm glad to say after a short holiday the coincidences are returning to my life. These are about people, and luckily some decent people are finding their way back into my life. No actual sex yet but some are destined to maintain the patience of a saint even though it goes totally against their nature.
I think the first is the sudden 'rash' of skin diseases. Besides my own which is now almost gone, both the women on my list have their own, which is hardly common. It seems that people around me are somehow reflecting my own experiences, and I also have clients who tell me almost the same thing two days running, so I've already dealt with it once and know far more about it for the second one. Often particularly specific problems come on bunches of two or three and then not for ages.

So if there is a connection within everything 'outside', do we either create it all as a dream or does someone else higher up? Someone told me yesterday even chicken pox could have a purpose, as being forced to do sod all for a few weeks showed me my limits and how others will help if necessary, and I still got a lot done at home. So besides having more of a social life recently everything else is potential. The two major issues which make the most difference, women and fame. I didn't include qualifications as they are behind me and all but one was completed successfully, the last being too demanding to take while working during the day. The TV is in the bag more or less but especially in the hot weather the women issue is pretty to the fore as they visit, wear summer clothes (you get the picture) but no touching. Like a starving man watching a video of people having a good meal. I do get a little share but it's not regular or ideal, otherwise maybe the paid method would become inevitable for my sanity. I've never needed to yet and hope I never will.

It's all work and friends visiting this week, I can't complain though the second job I do has become so tedious it's really outlived its value and paid a quarter of the other sort. I'm between appointments now, have an old girlfriend who wanted to come over (she goes off sex for a year at a time so little point for me though she does like the internet) but typically she's probably gone somewhere else as I was only free at 4pm and she clearly didn't want to wait that long, thank goodness. She can be a bore and a pain (hence the 'ex') and if frigid is as much use as a tit on a stick. So with all the thousands of choices available to me (programme on the Bermuda triangle I've probably seen), doing some paperwork, doing some errands on my bike (not enough energy, had 4 hours sleep the night before last) and looking for housework to do the blog wins as usual. My Funtrivia blog, which can't contain words like 'fuck, arse, wanker, bloody fucking hell, tosser, bastard, winkle, spastic, turd (actually I think we can get away with that) and anything possibly insulting of other races or religions now has more readers and infinitely more comments (than zero) than this one. Maybe if I watered down all my rudeness and open speech I'd attract more bland average guys, but I don't want to appeal to the masses, I want to cross boundaries and open sealed taboos as there's no reason not to besides the wish to avoid criticism.

So my patience is being tested as usual, I haven't reached any state of completion besides my relatively recent TV debut and the fragments of sexual activity I've been allowed from the total pool of opportunity. There are few things anyone can be certain about if they happened but I'm as certain as anyone can be that if I had the standard of sex I know is possible everything else would pale into the background. It's my priority and if that had even taken place the once I could die knowing I'd done my purpose on earth. Until then I piss around the usual everyday routines, I phone the radio now and then, see my clients, family, cat, and write for England. I investigate all things supernatural and do whatever the computer offers. It's really not enough for anyone is it? Wanting a simple family life with a wife isn't exactly beyond the norm is it, in fact I'd like to know the percentage of people who are single who want to be married by 40. Not many I reckon. I always wonder if just once a decision will go my way. A woman will offer herself I actually want, including those already tried and failed who have changed their mind. It happens, but not to me so far. Someone yesterday said how she could never approach a man she liked, just as I read in the Sunday paper. Women, for god's sake, grow up! If you fancy a man let them know! Equality includes responsibilities as well as rights, and if you want a man go for it just like we have to. Life's too short to piss around and waste years waiting.

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