Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Time stands still

How two days can be so different. Yesterday was a rare success as not only did the local library service accept my book of photos they paid me to buy a new one for myself. Makes a change. I took loads of pictures on the way back and posted 22 on flickr. The ear infection finally started improving in the evening, though I know as long as it's there it'll swing back and forth, but this was the first time I felt better and the pressure went so my stubborn determination to beat it without medical treatment may win despite the majority's disbelief. I really see it as a personal challenge and presumably most people in the 3rd world can't get treatment for these common things and don't die or become seriously ill either as a result. We assume there is only one way of doing things just because we are taught there is but sometimes we have to challenge the assumptions, and I've always been the first to do so.

So the anticlimax today when my earache returned and then the neighbour demanded my presence for his accounts only to call and tell me to wait an hour or so as he was going shopping. I knew it would take longer and it's been over 2 hours already and I have someone coming over later. I can't do a thing here in case he calls except piss around and blogging has been described as the ultimate pissing around by some though I disagree. With idle time and mind I'll review some of the recent possibilities.

The older woman is metaphorically dead and buried, my latest hint got the reply about age differences but I'm past caring now. The next called me but decided not to visit (this time) though I wasn't feeling 100% yesterday so probably better that way. The third is still in touch but is the longest haul of any woman I've actually started to see, and the fourth said she'd call when she had some time to meet me for the first time and I trust her.
Postally my glasses are overdue (how they expected them to be here today after ordering them Monday I don't know), I emailed Tesco to say my CD hadn't arrived and the auto response said they are snowed under (I wonder why...), my photo book is due tomorrow or Friday so I'll be woken up again, and the computer is due to be replaced over the weekend. And most important of all I'm still waiting for my video of the TV appearance, promised this week. Quite a bit set up, though right now am in the eye of the storm and instead of peace it's boredom plus apprehension of the stultifying work ahead, if he gets back in time to do it today. Apart from some filing I don't even know why he didn't bring the work here as I can do it all on the computer but who the hell can read his mind.

The blog list I added has a few thousand blogs and mine was around 70-90th and then the number disappeared altogether. Besides not believing my blog was in the top few percent with 10 hits a day the whole system seems to have failed now. Presumably by voting for me, which is working, it may be repaired, though the stupid sods don't prevent voting for your own blog (so easy to stop) but I won't cheat. Well it's 50-50 whether I'll be able to do the accounts today and I'm busy tomorrow so bugger it. But if I put the kettle on or start any sort of housework he'll arrive so it's a totally trapped situation like a bloody prisoner. I can't turn down work, I only have 1 client and that's a discount so can't pick and choose. Admittedly if my ear was OK I'd be far happier but the fact it improved so much last night proves it can. I appear to be on a bit of a mission to test life's boundaries and that includes ignoring advice as your own intuition (with many years of experience added) tends to know better.

Funny, if I look elsewhere for answers I rarely find them, when I stop needing to I get lots but not the right ones. Life sucks at times...

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