Friday, December 08, 2006

Am I finally going insane?

Having just catalogued all the events of the week elsewhere I don't even want to mention it, as I am left no better or worse off besides having a silent computer, which the monkeys round the corner clearly failed to notice they'd caused when fitting it with a discarded processor for the price of a new one plus. As they managed to reload Windows they got away with it, as few places can probably do it, but fix one thing and leave three worse, that's the way most operate and they are probably only average.
I also have no ethernet now, what they did to that who knows but it's as dead as Princess Diana and with nearly as many questions surrounding why. I'll be on the phone again tomorrow but as long as the rest is working it's not going back, but I do need something done so I can listen to web radio.

So looking back on the week it's fairly even, one woman returned but currently unavailable (compare yesterday's review of 'Love actually') and this is like the first scene with almost 3 hours to go to see if it resolves. Except in real life those hours are more like months or even years, like I haven't already waited so long. I have no choice and is a plan more valuable than any I know. Talk about history, 32 years an still no closer than I was besides a determination never to lose contact again whatever else happens. Tomorrow is mine for the taking though there are some business type calls I need to sort out 'or else'. Can't delay some things forever and had no time for opticians yet, especially as the target place closes on Friday when I actually visit the area. Things do seem to be going off the rails a lot of the time at the moment and how I stay on or get back is as much a mystery to me as how life can spin so out of control in the first place. The sad fact everyone has their own agenda, and if I meet a woman who was either born 20 years to soon or with someone else or miles away, otherwise it may well have worked out is a perfect example. Real good news actually gives you a profit, either long or short term, and getting something returned at great cost not as good as it was before is not an example, neither is meeting an ex who is no longer available. They are situations which are better than before but no profit, in some cases paying dearly for the little you do have.

Films and TV are very clever as they take all these situations and present them tidily, a beginning, ordeal and either happy or sad ending. Not so in real life, it usually carries on with opportunities rising and falling and rarely getting anything at the end of it, just more of the same. After 4 years at the health club I can see if I went there till I was 80 not one woman would want to go out with me as when they go there they switch off that part of themselves. Every single one. Not that they are single, but even the few who must be somehow become asexual as they walk through the door and the semi naked fit men (it is a gym) may as well be horses except for the fact I hear some women are more interested in horses. It's a real pisser. Every mine I descend is already cleared out or has the wrong stuff in it. One bonus of fame is the women who deliberately talk to you simply because they saw you on TV, and after maybe 30 I'd find one worth keeping. So indirectly as long as I pursue one route for work it may lead to something personal as well. Certainly no way to do it directly without getting locked up. Not that I'd notice the difference sometimes...

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