Saturday, December 30, 2006

Social life

Updates, like anyone cares... Did get the photos in Colindale but they looked exactly like all the others despite being different places. If I run out of photos to take there'll need to be something new to do to get me out of the house. Then after correctly rememberingthe opticians opened till 6 every day the arseholes were closed when I got there at 5.30. As I was going past it anyway I waited rather than make a special journey assuming they could be trusted, so it'll now be a special journey next week. So the day was predictable but efficient even though of course when anything relies on other people they didn't do their part.

If I'm lucky tomorrow I may get pictures of the North Circular in Hanger Lane Ealing, assuming it isn't dark when I go that way. Besides that over 24 hours how much else can happen? Not a lot comes the answer. Does it put me off? Not at all. The good news was my hits have increased a bit so maybe people were busy in the holiday week unlike me who is hardly ever busy on any part of any year. Of course I used to be but things change imperceptibly until you find your life has moved somewhere else and there's really sod all you can do to beat the greater picture. Ahead now is the day the guy can make my new computer (it's not off the shelf and needs my existing hard drive), probably in 2 weeks. I also remembered Tales of the riverbank after hearing something on the radio and ordered a video of it which was one of my favourite programmes in the 1960s, and actually spent half an hour waiting on Doncaster Station platform with Johnny Morris in about 1982 though I didn't go and speak to him. And there wasn't a zebra in sight (for those who watched Animal Magic like I did).

I also had a conversation with someone (I honestly can't remember who, the subject is usually far more important than the source for me) that I wonder how many people in life find life improves and they prefer the present to the past and vice versa. I saw life peak around 1969 and then fall apart slowly from about 1981 onwards progressively. I can technically catalogue every element and it was just like losing teeth until there were none left. Of course once you lose your teeth that's it, and it sometimes feels what I had was here when it was time and now it's gone that's the lot. I doubt that could be right but in practical terms it's possible though not inevitable. With two more days left of the year I don't believe the number matters. Landmarks count not dates, and besides a birthday every January which really makes me think about time passing the rest just carries on as always. Though I know it only takes one person to change all this but people are like angels, they come when they choose and not you. Luckily I'm not paranoid like some people I know and take it personally, I know they all left for their own reasons and I was nothing to do with it. That's the problem, people can't consider others when they move away. Not even me really. I know my family would miss me and probably an ex girlfriend but the others wouldn't even notice I suspect. I can come half way and make calls but if they don't return I have to let them go.

Unless I've missed anyone the last new close friend I met was probably at college in 1982. It's not that I had no friends since, I just kept the same ones. I barely have women as close friends as sex intervenes. Either I want it and they don't, no friendship there, or vice versa where I rarely turn it down, don't enjoy it and let them go, same result. Had it been mutual I would be telling a different story now. I have met many people since them but the closest to friends were also pains in the arse and however well we got on I had to suffer at the same time. A true friendship shouldn't have faults so I didn't include it. And I kept going to the same holiday place till 1989 but though I pulled many times I didn't meet any new friends there though half the ones I know were met there in the 60s and 70s. Do people rarely meet new friends once they grow up? I don't know. Though I never needed new friends it didn't stop me meeting them and admittedly I had a very close female friend I met around 1984 until she got engaged, though I was still interested in more she was such good fun I still loved to see her, and another around then who wanted more from me but I enjoyed her company and tested her body and unfortunately the mind won. She also left to get married and divorced so maybe I did have female friends as well though both times one wanted more but the friendships were strong enough to survive despite wanting more. So I remembered something more as we do when we talk about it. I'm still only at the early 80s, meaning I can't think of a friend I met more recently than that, but if it comes to me I'll add it in. But a best friend is only one person and for the first time ever there's a vacancy.


Anonymous said...

why not join a local group? something in the community? whether it be photography-based or otherwise, doing things is the first step toward meeting people, and half of all people are female. you just need to meet enough people to make the law of averages work in your favour. it WILL happen.

David said...

My mum said the same thing. Well, firstly there aren't many local groups, but I have joined others in the past, many 10 miles away or beyond as it was that hard to find places with my interests.
I enjoyed the subjects but besides most people living even further away never quite clicked with anyone enough to make even one new friend let alone more.
I found a very good health club where my father lives and go regularly and know many nice people there, but the women act like I'm invisible. Most of the men do as well but of course I can live with that.
Being a counsellor I am prevented from socialising at work as most people can so blocks my best chance of meeting people, and many of my clients are the most interesting people I meet. It only takes one person and it has to happen eventually wherever I go, but thanks for the encouragement.