Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hoping for more

I've been reading a lot of spiritual stuff recently, and am now seeing how the yawning gaps between apparently guided events are still part of the same guidance. I'm definitely connected to what are usually called the Akashic Records, the pool of everything we can all tune in to like using the internet without the computer. Today I went on Google Streetview, had an area to check, and went straight to another old direction sign, only the second one I've found by random (as opposed to informed) searching. Because of the congestion charge, which although set for reduction from the enlarged zone maybe when pigs fly, it was not absent today or in a year ahead, so will have to go at night.

Since the last one it's been business mainly, had to be done and gone smoothly so can't complain however boring it's been. Like working I think, if I can remember that far back. So at least I have the next day or two sorted out, if the sign's still there I'll be a happy man and not worry about doing too much on that front for a while. I'll be free to do all the housework and gardening I don't do when I'm out taking photos. I made a video on Saturday but there's a glitch for a few seconds that stops it working and means Youtube can't upload it, which is a shame as it wasn't one on my doorstep. I'll probably have to make a new counter for here since Blogger removed the numbers and now it's stopped counting. 26378 I think and that's in a couple of years or so. Because of Streetviewing taking priority I haven't had time for reading many blogs, especially as so few are still there I did read. It takes far longer finding active ones than reading ones on the list.
I've had no more replies on signs from any council, and the radiation story died a death, which didn't really surprise me as the evidence had mainly decayed within a couple of weeks.

So I am just watching what happens at the moment, as if nothing is really guided or connected then it would mean that's even stranger than the idea it is, as otherwise how would everything come together so frequently? You can't dismiss the experience of your own life, and when things are apparently random then start working as if written by someone the difference is drastic. I could still do with a bit more, as during the gaps it is just as bad as before, and would need a way of finding how those parts are just as much part of it, as the Celestine Prophecy says. The fact I think of the numerous things which aren't here does make me wonder that if things are guided, how can they be beyond finding old signs and getting my grandma's estate sorted out smoothly. It's a start but can't base your whole life on it. The enlightenment described in the book and others (although one teacher is now denying it exists) seems like my ultimate goal, as those who are happy as things are have no interest in it. The only material thing I really need is a woman, the very thing lacking for nearly all my life. Then friends and family, and then everything else. But once you wonder if there is more you only want something beyond the known and the book contains most of that.

I'd hate to think all this was going nowhere. There are givens, my own clairvoyance and intuition, and the way at least some complex events have guided me to signs I'd probably never have found otherwise. But as the book said, once we realise things are not as taught in school then if one event can be fixed by other forces then they all can. A miracle covers all beyond science, and if it happens once it's real, even if you never come across it again. That is not hope but reality, and should only gain hope from extending known reality, or as the teacher said, you end with hopeless.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Totally lost

I could do with escaping now. However high you rise it only means you can drop further, so despite finding one of my best signs on Saturday looking on Google, I couldn't follow it. I found four no through roads since, although one was guarded by a gang of youths who wouldn't have appreciated having a camera pointed near them, so left for later although it was only exactly the same as the others. I wouldn't have taken more than one type of standard (non place) sign when they were normal, but now I try and get them all as obsolete and can add a mark on my map. I had bugger all to do the two days following and did the Winchmore Hill trip today which almost killed me. Avoiding traffic is universal so any alternative route is just as bad as everyone else is doing the same. And when you reach a target there's nowhere legal to stop so you just put on the brakes, take the photo and hope no one is behind you.

Besides 1 hour of TV I've then had the phone non stop, nagging as I don't seem to be able to discourage people as most would, so they find me and drain my energy for them. Despite increasing my collections it only changes my life in that I need to add other items less and less, although besides a little one in Tulse Hill I also found, there are quite probably no more within a reasonable distance anyway. The result is besides my mental energy being almost worn out my physical is now following and if it doesn't return then my arrangements for the next week or so will be almost impossible to carry out. I'd never expect anyone to do what they can't do, I'd just ask someone else, but people assume you are the only one who can do it, or what they want to do with you is the only thing they want to do with you. Sod who I am, if I don't go to the specific place a woman wants to go at that exact time then she doesn't want to know. I am just happy to be with them, anywhere. Women however seem far more interested in where you take them than who is doing the taking. Bull shit.

So I am cash (as in things anyway) rich and income (as in new things and people) poor. The pyramid arrangement of hierarchies still means each event is at a certain level, and the higher they get the smaller as well. Each event is classified and even the ones which come and then go can still leave you with a lasting satisfaction having covered that item, like speaking on TV. Nothing I want can be bought, and it's all free anyway besides the house I want where I used to live. Like collecting old train tickets, taking photos is free, meeting friends and girlfriends is free as are all the best things that happen. Meditation is free as are the results that may come from it, but like the women you put in the work but have no control of the success of the outcomes. And when something that can work indirectly but rarely does, then you stop doing it as the hour is not worth the rare benefit it gives compared to whatever else you could have done with it. But I still look for guidance in it all, but the tests of faith get larger and larger and how I could overcome some I imagine are possible would be beyond anyone in my opinion. I already see these hazards in advance and unless I was somehow connected to god itself then I see no other way to do so.

Friday, September 18, 2009

A global week so far

Well it's about the third week of not making plans and been pretty busy. I checked the stats and didn't record the comment visit so something's up the creek and still can't get the counter back on my profile.
Last week was making little deals/negotiations that saved me a small fortune, and then spent a couple of afternoons boxing up the last of my grandma's belongings to be collected tomorrow and auctioned on Monday. Three floors, four bedrooms and 99 years of stuff. My friend's doing all the actual arranging as it's his job anyhow, so saved us both more trouble than we could probably have handled.

Otherwise it's been more or less business as usual, random photo trips and when I called the radio tonight to explain why global warming has been created to part the masses from their cash the previous caller, who was pushing the official line word for word turned out to be Professor Robert Winston! My call was straight after to contradict him, although I'd prepared it before he got on. That was some honour and gave me more material to pull to bits. Over half the other callers agreed with me as really the consequences of believing are creating the toughest totalitarian regimes outside the existing ones. Just like you don't stop terrorism by banning photos of the police you don't stop burning fossil fuel by charging people as it just makes them poor. The dissonance between claim and result is enough for many people to realise as everyone has to use the fuel they do then in fact the only change is the tax collected.

I've also scanned probably the last of my old prints online, and not an old sign among them despite passing a good many on the way. Just different aims at the time and missed them as they vanished almost to the end. I got another (15th) no through road nearby from Streetview and there's another some way further if I can be arsed, just to mark another on my map. Nothing of any significance seems to have happened, but if it has I've either forgotten or missed it. Today was one of the many (far more now no grandma) I didn't see a single person to talk to, and can't be good for anyone. No types of sex are bad enough but no conversation either is why I have to do it here instead. The phone isn't the same at all. When you go on summer camp at 8 to the holiday equivalent of Colditz a call home makes very little difference, ditto when living alone.

The radiation leak was ignored by the first newspaper so now sent it public and hope it gets picked up. A second person has developed a bleeding mouth and the symptoms are all consistent with Chernobyl. There has been a nast leak at Aldermaston but that is nowhere near Kent and would have poisoned everyone for 60 miles if that had reached there. My sole role now is to publicise it online while I've passed it onto someone in the media to spread it there, so every site I use is one more that has read it.

I still haven't a single specific plan, but have used every day well so far despite probably not fixing anything that could be fixed ling term. That isn't our role though as besides things like moving house (provided you can afford to pick and choose, which most people can't) those changes come from outside. There are the different areas, business, pleasure and spiritual. I've managed business level 1, survival, but not fame and fortune. Pleasure is the big gap as I'm sure everyone's realised, and spiritual is probably about level 2 having learnt and shifted the basics like meditation and clairvoyance. The end point is enlightenment and do see many more claiming it online where they certainly didn't 10 years ago in meetings. That is most down to effort and I have my practices which come and go depending on what else is happening, and besides fitting the Celestine Prophecy system and seeing the guidance already am uncertain how much else I've managed.

Finally a quick summary of the earlier radio call, whay the hell are people worried about climate change? It's not unknown, we have records of climates of all types going back millennia, and from the time humans arrived they've had extremes of hot and cold nothing like we know and survived all but the ice. Populations of plant and animal life always increase with temperature, and so far it has never risen to levels beyond acceptable despite being way above current ones. So given the fact the past is known, then why fret about the future? If it gets warmer so fucking what? More people thrive and those already in very low lying areas or hot ones will have decades to move minimum. That is what they always did and continue to do so. How people can be blinded to ignore the obvious is a feat worthy of Derren Brown and David Blaine working together. These are otherwise educated people talking and thinking a pile of toffee.

Hypnosis is my business, and am now even more amazed by its power as I realised the small scale glitches you can introduce into people's minds, but this one is universal besides the majority who aren't affected. But they are helpless like me as the ones that matter are the ones creating the illusion, not those affected by it. There are just enough not to burn down the BBC the next time they spend a whole science programme talking about global warming, (as they did twice this week so far), as no ifs, no buts, they are lying to each and every one of us and I know how and why. One day people will thank me for this effort.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Please leave comment!

According to my stats no one has read the last entry. Last month despite updating as often as usual my hits dropped by 75%, fair enough, but according to the stats I haven't had one visitor for a week besides one today. The fact it also shows a visitor on the 26th may indicate a problem, and the site has hidden the HTMP to repost the counter on the blog so everyone else can see it as well. I know I've hardly commented on other blogs for a while but never stopped me reading them myself. Maybe (life is like that) it's the repetitive nature of my life and resulting entries, but I can't write what doesn't happen, despite a couple of weirdos accusing me once of being a liar. I am weird, eccentric and politically incorrect, but always speak the truth.

Just in case there is a glitch could everyone leave a comment here just to check how many people are visiting, I did have 50 a day before they stopped the links, and when they returned got 90 when people were insulting me. I'd rather not have that as a reason for readers, and if anyone wants more themselves I'm happy to come on their blogs and call them names if that's how they'd like to do it.

I am reaching the end of a totally free week. With no grandma after 49 years I now have more time to fill, and having realised you can't always plan ahead just did whatever I could think of this week. That ended up with a reasonably decent (as the DVD ran out after I just started) video of people crossing the zebra in Abbey Road, another aborted photo visit to Watford (traffic came to halt before bridge yet again), and saving myself a packet on home insurance. Besides that and some food shopping I haven't done that much but hasn't been a waste. Other little jobs like accounts and probate for my grandma's will have also been done which probably wouldn't have had I been out more.

I'm still not really planning. There's a possible photo album to be made for a nearby library if they say yes, another online quiz to write, no actual work (big deal) and the rest (including the blog hits) is a mystery. I'm still trusting the Celestine Prophecy to provide what I need to, although the source seems to be no more than his imagination it already corresponded with most of my experience so if there is a single source of information we are all connected to it.
Meanwhile I hope I both return to my stats and find it was a glitch, and secondly I find a way to get the numbers back here where everyone else can see them.
Of course I'm still hoping for more. This week was more business than pleasure, although the money saved provided some pleasure as a result. I also spent some time on the radiation case which although I haven't heard back yet is an important issue that needs publicising. More so not just in itself but if proved means the government hide dangers from the public hoping they won't get found out. I knew this already but this would mean everyone else would, and maybe start doubting some more of the bullshit they talk (the greatest being carbon emissions of course). One by one people have to wake up to the fact that simplifying a false concept so some people believe it isn't going to make it true, and the information required to find it is false is all over the internet written by the genuine experts who don't lie to save their careers.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Becoming invisible

You win some you lose some, after being ripped off £60 for going through a gated road (as they'd left the gate open, logical) I wondered if there was any way to get it back elsewhere. I had a random call from a company offering me a house insurance quote, which was way below what I was paying, so rang my company up and told them and got well over £100 off the old price. Job done.

Otherwise I'm currently publicising a radiation contamination in Kent which will hopefully get in the papers now besides me showing 50 people online, as it's a bit of a nasty situation where man made elements were found implying it was an accident and one they haven't admitted to. How many others are there we never found out about either? The teachings at all levels say to avoid nuclear power at all costs, as there's no cure for the effect of exposure and no reason to touch the stuff compared to alternatives. Yet another example why now.
So from no plans again but freedom I saw an ad for the Beatles in Abbey Road to push their new (old) album release and decided to make my own. Besides the DVD filling up after 1 1/2 minutes (no spare carried for a change) I got everything I wanted without repeating people crossing for 10 minutes as intended. I also got all my hardware shopping in my local shop today (pretty obscure stuff) without either having to go further afield or find the items at all. It all counts. So my rugs are not slipping now on the wood floor from removing the old carpet, and have a pizza wheel now so I can slice the pizzas without them slipping across the room.

I suspect my comment rate has reduced as I haven't had the time to read many blogs for a while, mainly because the ones I did read have been removed. It takes ages to find new ones as most links are years old and the fraction who do update are not always more than a list of reviews of gadgets or entertainment or links to other sites. Do these fuckers get kickbacks as there are more than enough advertising sites doing this crap officially without some spotty geek in Luton measuring all the DVD players in PC World for us. What else could motivate people to waste time (theirs and ours) reviewing anything that's being done to death already by professionals. I think I've solved that now, just a little additional pretend blog looking like a twat from Luton but in fact a twat from an ad agency. The few intellectuals around blogging seem to be pretty hard to find.

I can't help waiting for 'the big one'. Something which will change my life from mundane to special. Had the woman from the library been single and interested that could have done it. If I can start seeing auras properly again, get on terrestrial TV, in a national paper, have an official admit global warming was announced prematurely as it's now been found not to be reliable, and anything else at that level. These things probably happen on average every 10 years (to me at least), and it's well overdue for me. I order everything in life to different levels, events, people etc, as it's very easy to rank from best to almost as good but not quite etc. I expect we all can, marks out of 10 etc. The top level have to be life changing or it's there and gone leaving you no different.

I've finished the Celestine Prophecy now, although there is the following two insights plus one never written about. I read the tenth ages ago and can't remember or find it now, but the bits I saw elsewhere seem it should flow on its own from the others. As I found within days they are meant to merge to one view of life, and I am now aware of it working that way regardless of how James Redfield worked the stuff out. It fit my previous experience and he didn't know that. Whether people really become invisible at the end is similar to David Icke's lizards, a great book with a dodgy bit. If even one person had reached that level and become invisible people would notice, and once a few had we'd know it was possible and would no longer see the world as it was. Goodness knows where that bit came from but won't worry about it affecting the rest.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

A quiet week

Regardless of actual events I am seeign it through the eyes of order now, and the more I do the more I should see it and the more normal it should become. I've nearly finished the book now and surprised considering it was written ages ago it hasn't had more impact on people since. I can't be the only one who was already tuned into it surely?

Today was a test, I had no plans and instead of trying to work something out in advance just waited to see what happened. It was nothing special but kept busy. I've eliminated another woman from the search, not for reasons of rejection but she's married, as most good ones would be. It kept me in practice though and proved not only do good ones exist but locally. And you meet women far better just doing things normally than trying to meet them at events or agencies after 30.

So currently life is a total vacuum. I've got a couple of little ideas for next week but nothing special, have a system of one quiz written to go online and an old sign to be painted, and that's it. No new ideas to add, I can say one of the climate groups in America just found sunspots heat the stratosphere which explains what everyone with a brain's been saying for years. We have had very unusual sunspot activity, I remember particularly as when I had CB radio in the 80s we relied on it to talk abroad, and the could usually be predicted year by year for decades. The pattern seems to have fallen apart since then and could well be related to all the panic over weird climates. If there are any of course, ours is the same every year and always has been.

I suppose after the last few entries I shouldn't mind a quick one so to speak, but may be anything round the corner for all I know.

Friday, September 04, 2009

A teacher and a writer

I am learning via the Celestine Prophecy to actively look for guidance in all my life. Bad things which must be good, like the turds who treated me like something stuck to their shoe got me to analyse their behaviour, write a huge article about it, tell the world about it online and realise my role as a teacher. Those were two of the insights in action before I'd touched the book so my own life corresponded with it beforehand so instead of wondering if it was yet more bollocks, read in amazement as my own experiences continued to be presented in front of me.

After the hard work (for me anyhow) last week I'm on a holiday. I've had to make my own plans, but besides the trip to the library, finding the almost perfect woman was definitely still almost perfect but married, the rest has been hard core fannying around. Photo trips are now being made to places on the map I haven't taken them and just take whatever fits into my many themes. I did however find a sign I took 6 months ago was an old one after all, so managed to add another without lifting a finger. I am planning to follow the advice and make another photo book specially for the library of the local area, and hope they do actually use it.

So the week was free after all, no nasty surprises blocking my rest, and all I do now is see each day what I can think of to do as there's nothing particular on the system. But as I've found things to do so far I'm not bothered, and most good things that have happened have been far from predicted in my life and yours I'd expect. Tomorrow's spare again until the evening, and any gardening has been off as it's rained on and off all week. Now my council charge to take junk away I can't just dump my old carpet as before, and they charge for five items minimum which means looking for four more before the first can go. Next door didn't have anything so will be some time before I can find enough to make a visit worthwhile.

I only know one person who reads this from Facebook (although others could do) but have found for reasons suspected a few of my friend invitations went unanswered. These people have all stitched me up in one way or another, and fear they believe I deserved it, so haven't added me not because of any vague feelings of guilt they are some of said turds who, for absolutely no decent reason, spat me out when I apparently got in their ways, and despite my own acts of forgiveness (I give people chances after most transgressions, besides the Nazi who threatened to kill me). Funnily enough the death threat could be forgiven but not his Nazism as I don't believe that can change at his age. You can be sorry for an act but not who you are. All the others acted very badly, and other people who are now friends had in the past and I totally dropped it when they behaved nicely again. Power is abused by people not forgiving as well as being perpetrators. And who loses? I'd have lost two really nice people if I hadn't accepted their apologies for not only what was appaling behaviour but spread over months. But ultimately harmless.

I hope I set an example. If I can do any of these things everyone can as we're all in the chaos that is other people. Buddha taught this crap 2500 years ago so I'm not exactly being original, but how many people remind you to do this? And as I'm talking professionally I also aim to make this area a possible source of income, as I'd rather be paid for what I do naturally and easily than the sort of job a donkey would be suitable for. I've done plenty of those, including after my degree, as most undergraduate degrees do not lead to specific jobs besides teaching, which I did. But until the final job I wasn't paid in the holidays so what began as a caretaking job changed to furniture removal as the business expanded. I gave up after dropping a gas cooker off the back of the van and although was happy to man the office for less money had enough of that at the age of about 31. That was my final crap job and after that, besides private teaching, I ended up exactly where I started in retail as that was literally all I could get after a few hundred applications, and both from people I knew.

I planned slightly different work, and work I would probably still be doing had I qualified. O level maths stopped a few, no teachers training without it and all the private schools have little regular work in my areas. I can't remember if the then year long social work course needed maths as well or I'd probably have stayed on and done it, and now regret not doing the same thing for librarianship (assuming even that doesn't need it). Becoming a therapist meant I both did what I was best at and helped people, but there's fuck all work in it outside self employment and that's restricted to a few elite who have posh places and plenty of contacts. We all get their crumbs and nothing I do can make a living that way. So writing would fill the gap perfectly and as I've been published for about 15 years (first by myself admittedly but it did sell) then am clearly able to. Like most jobs it's a formula or feature writers would be lost each week as they don't report news but do basically what I do, pick a topic or two and waffle. Boris Johnson summed it up, he whizzes it off in a few hours and earns £250,000 a year. Hardly anyone can reach that rate but only a variation of that amount for them all.

Luckily somehow I pay my bills but have an income most people would assume was Polish or possibly Ghanaian (assuming they don't get much), or maybe even Chad (they certainly don't). I'm just so incredibly careful with my money I save it for what needs paying first and don't spend it on anything else unless get a present. So a large and regular income would be very new to me, and don't see why all my qualifications, knowledge and experience can't be used instead of physical labour as before. Working in a shop is barely different as besides the demeaning nature of being ordered around by customers you have to keep the stock updated, clean the shop (only big places employ cleaners), carry boxes up ladders, unpack deliveries etc, so basically a glorified warehouseman. It could be done in my sleep and had long periods of time to do crosswords when it was quiet but every work experience bod who came in at 16 got the hang of it after 2 weeks so hardly up to my level besides the ease of operation. That was before the minimum wage and I earned a fraction of it, so was basically paid according to the level of the work I was doing.
Although I would have done it again elsewhere I'd like a professional regular job if possible one day based not on another course but the ones I've done already. I get employed for it willingly in the media, but they either pay thousands or sod all. I'm not a socialist but sharing it more evenly would help us all.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Time and effort

I am pretty sure that the amount of effort put into anything besides specific jobs has no bearing on the outcome. I have put quantity over quality possibly in a few areas, such as spreading the word on global warming being purely a scheme to redistribute wealth, banning road humps and the like, along with my own personal career, and any results I've had (with the career anyway) have been simply from good ideas followed by other people calling me. Once I'd done my bit the actual usage was out of my hands. But the time spent for example on dating agencies, where I joined a couple at a time, went through profiles constantly and followed by regular dates got me sod all until a free internet site delivered one who lasted a short while before disaster struck. Just turning up at a friend's when the right woman is there and hitting it off involves no effort, it just means being in the right place at the right time. I've put lots of effort into many campaigns of all types recently and the results have been one old road sign painted (by me) and another promised by the council (who I trust as they've prepared it already).

But compare that with the emails I've sent and work I've submitted. Writing is considered work, seeing the huge amounts reporters earn (a lot more than therapists I can tell you), they can get an idea, as Boris Johnson explained, run it off in a couple of hours at home and earn thousands. He has proved my point alone but it is the case for national papers at least. I'm not saying I don't get the results sometimes but since my college courses have not been related to any amount of work I've put in. Of course it's balanced by areas I do bugger all in but then again probably do just as well there as any other which basically means why bother full stop?

So looking at the little I can do about my progress anywhere I am basically going with whatever flow happens, dealing on a reactive basis as even my own good ideas come when they feel like it and can't force them either. The Celestine Prophecy should easily be finished this week and at least that provides a framework for life I was already aware of so not something I've invented, observed and possibly got all wrong as whoever wrote it (and where he learnt it from) agreed. I know nothing of it's origins but will check that next. No plans this week, last week I worked more than I had for years (clearing my grandma's house is work as well as I'm an executor of the will), so welcome some free time although haven't a clue (besides taking my photo book to sell to the library) what else I'll do. But I only work day by day now and that's tomorrow's job along with food shopping on the return. I intend to spend more than usual on West Indian frozen meals since buying a test container, I've only seen them in one shop and worth an extra pound or so for the quality.

I've also joined the global warming is a lie type group on Facebook, and urging everyone to email the contact BBC News site to ask why they never seem to mention the accredited scientists who either never believed in it, or better still those like Dr Claude Allegre who realised what I always guessed, it was not something humans can control either way. Playing God is a phrase I've seen used, the arrogance of pretending they can stop our climate rising by more than 2', as if they even knew it was going to. Until the BBC and similar give equal reporting rights to both sides it's my duty to spread the word as I don't see any other fucker doing it. Except you Roger admittedly and someone I know called Dave in America who at least spreads it on our trivia site as well as myself. But considering the vast amount of data out there, all basically agreeing on the amount of CO2 we emit isn't enough to beat termite farts (they are one of the greatest causes) let alone volcanoes, yet the BBC are paid to ignore it. And governments give grants to scientists to in turn give them the green light to raise taxes. Anyone not under 24 hour care ought to get this one but there's nearly half a million people on the biggest stop global warming group on Facebook and only a few thousand on the biggest of the opposites. Hence the need to repeat, repeat and keep repeating until one person at a time gets fed up and checks what I'm talking about, and realises it may actually be true. Who the hell wants to feel stupid? But isn't it better to be released from a trap than stay there in comfort?

My cleaner returns after well over a month on Saturday with great relief, I've done a lot better than expected on my own although wouldn't last much longer. I will continue to practice looking at auras as I'd say it's the single most useful thing I can do, as increasing our own senses must be. Strangely everything I've seen this time round has been static, only growing and shrinking in size, whereas most in the past were either smoky or wispy. Auras are auras so unless I'm doing something differently wonder why although I am now also seeing colours (which I hardly ever did before) it's just a static glow rather than like a heat haze or pulsing energy. If I run out of places to go I can always do that but it wears you out after a while.
So not a clue what I'm doing as usual, other chores beckon as always but again as always can be delayed some time. I'm not really waiting for any more than the second sign to be painted, none of my other emails got me anywhere and most of the best (and worst) things come out of the blue anyway, although my new intuition exercise from the book is in early stages, first two produced nothing though but carrying on.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The prophecies continue

I'm currently integrating the insights I'm reading in the Celestine Prophecy with real life, as besides experiencing the first 4 before reading them, the others all fit so far and wonder how a life as dull and a lot worse at times as the one I witness can have exactly the opposite potential once we know how to harness it deliberately. I'm trying new things from it now and will report back if they work. Of course I can only accept the first one, the coincidences, as it's happened more and more for a few years and to most people I know as well. I will hopefully escape the normal life till now as it's about bloody time.

It is currently almost a dance between heaven, hell and limbo (the usual condition), and odd to imagine either can exist with the presence of the opposite, as logic tells you life should be one or the other if spiritually guided, and only all at once if truly random as science believes. Discovering all is connected and truly able to work as a single system (with no clue how), which finally shifts from collective but meaningless synchronicities to pointing me to specific ends which would have been impossible had all the steps not been present. I haven't finished the book and suspect it gives the ways to move out of hell altogether, and have one possible already.

The actual events have all been work related, which many would say about bloody time. And I didn't really have much else to do so can save any of them till I do. Today was the first day I've started the practical side of the book (as I only just read it last night) but trust as the rest is correct this should be as well. Whether the internet will provide more than one woman for me or that was just a fluke remains to be seen. I have made one very good ally in a council sign department so have at least one repair to look forward to on an old one. And despite covering so much of the area more turn up, on likely places and ones I've passed and never seen. But I definitely feel I'm missing something and can't use the excuse whatever is worth having is on its way, as that is no different from all the negative nonsense on global warming. People die from the cold more than the heat and the fewer of us need to use heating as the temperature is higher than the energy will be saved. What's the problem there?

Another element from the book was confirmed after the event in my own life a few weeks ago where you discover exactly your role in life. I realised I was a teacher and then read this is about the 6th insight so I think I'm ahead of another one actually. Meanwhile it's given me a system to use which should answer many of the questions I need to know, and one by one will see if it works. It's totally verifiable as you list them, add answers and then see if they are right.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Personal development updates

Having read 2/3 of the Celestine Prophecy, despite knowing nothing of its origins, the fact it corresponds with my own life quite unlike most of the other spiritual books I've read tells me quite a lot in itself. Mainly, as it says, science is not as we think. How on earth can life clearly be guided if everything is random as we are led to believe? So just knowing this and watching them all consciously raises our vibration, eventually leading to evolving to our next level. My life however, although guided in places, hasn't actually changed. My being is still as sensitive as before and just have a little hope that because there is clearly a guiding force it could guide me out of the shit eventually.

The shit is there to partly teach, but as I noticed at work (OK one hour but I was working) today it's a lot nicer to climb a mountain by small steps than try too hard and hurt yourself? You get there either way but the cost is a lot greater if you overdo it. So the guidance is towards something, and the first change I've been aware of is I'm no longer in doubt I am a teacher and know exactly how and why. Thank god I'm qualified as otherwise I'd both disbelieve my qualifications (although intuition requires none) and never get paid for it (oh, I'm not). But I could be. And see the yawning gaps in people's knowledge that I'd be reckless not to fill when I can, no different from helping anyone else in trouble, whether they need a jack for their car or an explanation for why they don't need to argue. And the teaching lasts forever as you are giving people something to keep, and it costs you nothing and you doble the knowledge each time you share it. Of course you can tell thousands for one to accept it, but it works one soul at a time as I well know.

I have predicted news before, and a year later when little happened left it alone, but another year or two passed and over half my quite unlikely predictions came to place, including Woody Allen's relationship and surrounding accusations. Not so unlikely but many others were. Now if I can harness my intuition to see where the guidance is going that in itself may guide me to it. If that makes sense. As the guidance has recently combined with my intuition, saying 'Streetview Carshalton' and also Southwark, which got me my latest few old road signs as soon as I aimed there, I'd like to go advanced and see if I can call this up at will now.

Well the book has returned (with some patience) my ability to see auras after many years, and although my list of what I'd like to change may well be beyond anything to do, and for a start would like someone important to recognise and use my teaching. Now if I can reconnect with the energy I was well aware I was missing then basically that would be the end of my problems as I'd no longer need to rely on events for pleasure. That's only my existing view of enlightenment, but the book describes it far better than the advaita loss of individuality. To me that is quite easy to do, you just see who you are before you start thinking about it, and all it is is awareness plus the movement of the sensory inputs. No person (can you see yourself looking ahead?), identity (you need to think to remember who you are) but so bloody what? I can enter that state where I'm gone and there's just awareness and activity but is identical to how I am with the identity. Connecting to divine energy makes more sense, or chi/prana to be exact, and of course that feels good as basically without it we're running on batteries and with it the full mains supply.

The major problem with the spiritual progress is the gaps. It doesn't take away the boring moments of every day and lousy chores that must be done, doing nothing as others call my leisure activities is far preferable to boring chores, although they do earn money sooner or later in some cases. That's normal before enlightenment but when you've been guided enough to know it, and then life goes back to how it was before then very quickly it seems it's just the same except you know it can be guided. But that's no practical use, just a knowledge of things working differently to how we think. Technically I suspect everything that happens is part of the guidance once it's started, although we may never know how.

Meanwhile I'm having to be pretty subtle on my other blogs and websites as it's very likely some people I write about will read it or tell them if they know them. So I'll save the naughty bits for here and mention my empty female target diagram. This involves every woman I like, and have Venn diagrammed them all into how unavailable they are (as none are available). The big circle is internet friends and others I knew who moved abroad or too far to see over here. The smaller circle which intersects (as Venn diagrams do) with the large one is the married ones. Now on my list are the top few who either I'd like and could have if available, or are available but out of range. I used to have few limits, a few 70-80 mile very short relationships, and we both agreed within weeks the trouble was more than the benefits. Being 30 years older that is now about 15 miles whatever Gabriel (who travels the world annually for the whole year as that is his thing) says. Even so possible #1 is a few hundred miles away and unless I'd met someone first couldn't expect them to move to London to complete the job. I'd move to a few places but was blown out the last time that happened last year.
The other blew me out consistently for a few years at school but found me online and despite being married and not too far away shows more interest in me than anyone else here. Considering my role as persona non grata for a few years (besides telling me her problems, which is what I was born to do, paid or not) how I've suddenly become her favoured distant target (unless she shows such attention to all her friends online) is a mystery to me and as I doubt her marriage is in any difficulties wonder what I did to become an object of interest after 30 years or so.

My other trick of dropping hints has fallen flat but tested and failed. I won't bother now, I can't pick them up myself so can't really expect others to. Married woman did pick a few up so excepted, but unless she's both changed her opinion of me and decided to be unfaithful she's either acting as a red herring or has developed an interest she probably can't act on. I could tell the other one but far too far away, and there's no one else female wise. Where the guidance is leading I will still have to see, but don't like the usual return to life as it always was before. Where's the hope or benefit in that?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A quiet week

The freedom continues at least, and someone discovered an old sign on the main road through Hampton I'd passed hundreds of times but hadn't noticed, and when I got there there was another on the back pointing an arrow the other way, so got the matching pair. One I didn't even remember, to public library. Not much else since, except on the library theme I'm taking the old sign book there to see if they'll buy one. Besides a booking and the usual clearing grandma's house this week there are no plans, my two trips to Herts last week did no more than eliminate the area from my enquiries but kept me occupied.

I'm working my way through the Celestine Prophecy, which eerily reflects my own life exactly up to the 4th of 9 insights. Besides seeing auras I haven't reached the practical part, but how to read the way things are. Connecting to a mysterious energy is the key, and one I already suspected, so could be interesting. I've also done a pile of global warming research, and basically if the media gave equal exposure to all the data not one sane person could believe in the whole crock. Ann Widdecombe, who I've admired for a while, just came out as an independent by putting down her esteemed and crooked leader's total acceptance of all the shite Al Gore's worldwide conspiracy feeds him. Well he's obviously getting a piece himself isn't he woman.

So little more analysis or speculation (would you use a speculum?), just time and space. It's a relief finding more signs as I get hooked on collecting and until I complete the list look before I do most other things. It would be nice if I'd missed something and it would turn up just when I needed it (as well as the signs) but the media and women in general have all turned their back on me, as any potential employers. I only keep looking for more as I've had a lot and lost it so know exactly what I'm missing. Fame would be a bonus and no doubt cover the financial and social side so do a lot by itself. And I will continue to teach wherever I see a need as I get the role I have now. There is a gap and I do fill it. I wish there were a few more available besides that sort...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Doom, gloom and shit meets fan

Sanity can be stretched to its limits, and hope it recovers as quickly as it's been stretched. I'm still teaching though as all the latest fiasco did was confirm my initial suspicions, and actually affirmed when I read the 4th insight in the Celestine Prophecy. People don't usually mean to be cunts but doesn't stop them doing it. See my teaching as a favour to try and reform these further behind than some one by one.

Other than shit hitting the fan there's little happened this week besides my four insights before I then read them in the book. That's pretty significant and hopeful. But being still in duality am affected by being treated like scum and have no one here to distract me like most people do. Added to that I have only one small plan of taking my old sign book to the library, and beyond that who knows? This week at least was free and in itself is always positive. As I had nothing preferable to do I did exactly what I did, photo trips all over the place, removed my old filthy lounge carpet and got the valuer in to my late grandma's house. Things have been done but besides no longer having the filthy carpet indoors feel I have gained nothing. I have discovered unless enlightened everyone has ups and downs whatever their status. No masters degree, PhD, fame and fortune ever made anyone fireproof as I used to expect, as my clients all demonstrate who are all far more successful and unhappy than me. You can earn a degree but can't talk to it, and have loads of money but again doesn't provide you a social life. And many married people seem no happier with that either. I don't even know the answers to this lot, besides searching for enlightenment, as the basis of suffering is dualism according to every teacher in history.

When you are at the bottom it's natural to look up and think it ought to turn round, but there are no scales on up and down in life, or averages out, so can go down and down indefinitely. But not in my hands. Tomorrow I also have to write a webpage for someone without a computer and the possible library visit, with the final Ashes Test on TV in between. Of course I Streetview all of London in case I find any more old signs until it's all covered, and does work as I found a couple more last week. We all want rescuing from situations as described in fairytales, but one thing life isn't is a fairytale. It has far more in common with the Exorcist than any other film I can think of, and did not at all see that as a work of fiction when I watched it many years ago. It's not like that all the time but is a lot easier to reach than anything positive.

I don't always get inspiration when needed either. It is there at times, I got two ideas to check certain areas on Streetview and had signs exactly where I expected them although one had absolutely no reason to. I have the ability but not constant or frequent enough to help as so far it comes to me, I can't go to it. Doing psychic readings most can do passive quite easily, getting what they are given on a topic. But to be able to answer specific questions is restricted to the very best and something I only just started trying to do. Someone posted that suffering is like washing clothes, you don't beat them to break them but to clean them. Surely there's a better way for people though, I try and clean people by communicating to them, putting them through ordeals, although outside my power to do, certainly teaches lessons to those not willing to listen, but that is karma and I've never seen a scrap of evidence for that, rather personal evolution through effort and then coincidence/synchronicity presenting the lessons one by one. These don't seem related to previous actions but the next step to learn. Quite different.

So I have a growing list of people who owe me a fucking huge apology. One great miracle is to actually get even one of these in your lifetime. Think about it. People believe they are right, hurt someone, find they have, feel guilty, go into denial and spend the rest of their life trying to ignore it. I'd love the chance to apologise to people when I was like that as a teenager, but that was the last time I behaved like that. Another reason I teach as I see why they do it, others see why they do it, and if enough people point it out then the miracles may happen, especially without them having to suffer what they did to you, which seems a childish formula and maybe not even intended by Buddha who is always quoted as teaching it. It would certainly work better than any teaching I give (as I see deaf ears all around me where really needed to be open) but don't trust that system however many people do.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

My role as a teacher

This is interesting, having found the Celestine Prophecy on my shelf I've discovered I knew the first few insights already so rather than read and question I can say (even though the book may be fiction, not sure) I have already discovered they operate and this confirms my own experience. And other books confirm we do influence all around us with our thoughts which can then become our reality, but god's own job (literally) learning how. Look at a ball of wool and the products that can come from knitting with needles. Even when we know how it happens it takes ages to get it ourselves and there are no definite methods here whatever they tell us.

I've been pretty busy since last week, Streetview provided two more old signs which were near another I knew of, so that was Sunday, and been running around taking photos and doing more work at my late grandma's clearing the house. I also removed my filthy lounge carpet as there was a varnished wooden floor underneath and covered it with an old rug which isn't quite wide enough. I think the only plan I have is the next photo trip, although each is a mystery you never know what you'll find and cover new areas each time, including my first trip to Watford for about 20 years today. Besides a concert and the opening of the Harlequin Centre the only other reasons were to get the old train tickets which stopped in 1988.

The good news from the Celestine Prophecy was I am now able to see auras after about 17 years, although they look quite different from last time and stops as soon as I stop concentrating so far. But I have now seen colours although the others were usually smoky these are bright blue edges which get wider or narrower. So far (for fairly standard reasons) I've only practised on myself so far but can do some trees as well when I think about it. I've also nearly finished an alien book which seems to point to a lot more quantum physics being used at this level as I suspected already. We can do it at larger and larger levels now so project that a few hundred years ahead and objects will be relocated without the need to travel between the two points. That removes the need to beat the speed of light and will then start finding other dimensions. And said artificial gravity projection, the way most craft are said to travel, is also obsolete and they have an even better way. We will see.

I'm now officially teaching online and anywhere else people listen. I tested my knowledge to the limit and found people genuinely benefit from what I see before they do, even if it's just one person a month to start with. As Jesus said (he did speak a lot of sense in with the total bollocks) one lost sheep found is as valuable as the rest of the herd. Enlightened teachers have often copied from their teachers and complicate much of what they say, where I simplify what I know. I presume should I become enlightened I'd narrow it down to the bits you need (as Nick Roach has) and leave the theory out as it only works on the mind which doesn't seem to let go even when it gets it. I am perfectly aware my true nature is awareness and everything else is secondary, and I have no identity as that is a thought, and can't exist before the thought comes in 'who am I?'. But I'm not enlightened, I am just intellectually aware my true reality is my direct experience of now. I see everything around me, not me. Ask me who I am and before I think all I know is I am this. No name or history, just what I am aware of now. But that is the mind's question being answered, and not even sure this knowledge makes any difference to getting there.

I am also using my teaching to expose conspiracies at any level, as there are some power games going on out there that aid the perpetrators not one bit but fuck up the lives of the victims a lot. Now over at Funtrivia I don't talk about this as it's illegal and I'd like to remain a member or I'd lose my alternative to a real life community. But there was always a continual complaint by the rest of the staff against certain hierarchy there, and until they kicked my ass wondered if it was paranoia. But although most staff there belong there a few dirty the whole pool like someone who's pissed in it. You only need one or two to leak in the water to ruin it for everyone and there are a few big pishers there as I now know. They all stick together and play the game so they do what the others want. As far as I know I've only got a couple of readers left from there and they've heard this already, but I use it as material to learn greater lessons from and if it opens my professional writing career may have done me a favour. I was robbed and assaulted (separately, and the robbery was without violence) in my first year law, and did two cracking answers in the exams from my own experience of those situations, just as adversity has provided me now.

I am building up these career branches now, with my biggest article yet, and now feel official as a teacher (plus I spent all those years at college so people could never question my credentials, as although you can know a lot by intuition most people won't listen without the letters after your name as well). And you'd never get published without them however good you were, that's the system. So I did the lion's share of work at college, got years of experience testing and learning more, and now at nearly 50 am collecting the whole lot together. No more self doubts or questioning as I see this all working every day as I describe it. And then read it afterwards in books. Primary (personal experience) and secondary (by others efforts) learning. And (as I have so far survived only) the death threats have now made me 100% immune to insults, how can words every hurt you again after someone's threatened to kill you?
Now besides my own career I have a lot of potential souls to save. All very hard cases and if even one listens to me it'll be a miracle but only a challenge to me. I can see how these guys have got it backwards and although most people never change while it only hurts others, a gentle poke from time to time may slip through their armour.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A little Nazism is OK

I was just asked by a fellow campaigner for the truth on climate change about how there can be a correlation between increased taxation and affecting the climate? As the major (only?) political weapon against perceived climate change is taxation then they expect us to accept that raising money can reverse the harmful effects we have had on the climate. Watch this space.
Secondly, and I said it before in the forums and nearly got my head bitten off, one of the highest causes of CO2 in the atmosphere are animal exhalations. While plants breathe it in and exhale oxygen, sadly animals do the reverse, so the most effective way to repair the delicate balance of the atmosphere is to remove all animal life from the planet (nb, plants will also die as there won't be enough CO2 left for them, but a small price to pay I'm sure).

When it comes to political power, Europe lead the world in unification. They are slowly unifying an area the size of the Roman Empire, Ottoman Empire and if it had succeeded the Third Reich. One by one countries are asked to change to fit in, first the currency, then the measurements, and when each is in place something else will be added until we have a homogenous and increasing area speaking the same language, driving on the right, and using the same currency. Then of course principles will be extended to previously imperial measurements for harmonisation within the community. Time, being base 12, is an anachronistic reference to imperial times, so will be decimalised with 100 seconds in a minute and 20 hours a day. And as time is not restricted to Europe the UN will declare the rest of the world will have to switch instantly to harmonise intercontinental flights and trade. And one further step, suggested by my deputy Roger Hooton, is that rather than have time zones which are divisive and isolate nations, from now on all countries worldwide will be on the same time. Then each country will be able to make appointments to call and the time will not vary between nations, and flights will be able to be timed universally with no alteration for local differences.

Communication is also vitally important with local variations excluding outsiders, so Europe will lead the way, democratically choosing the language spoken by the highest population, which of course is German. Because of the political correctness not allowing any country to exclude others through language barriers, a UN diktat will therefore order every country in the world to follow, as it cannot be enough for one continent to speak German, it must spread to all corners of the earth, and if other planets are colonised or found to be inhabited, as the established world language then become the universal language.

Some people may say these regulations go to far, and I agree. But if they do, where do you draw the line before they become unreasonable?

General mental wanderings

As far as current events go there's nothing to report. I continue to ask for little things from big people and as usual in most cases they don't even reply, including those that know me. Power trips have been written out be every writer in history and like the greed shown by the pratts who borrowed money for things they didn't need 'because it was there' and are now going broke and bringing down the innocent ones with them. And as for the criticism anyone gets for daring to try and explain why global warming is a political movement designed to generate more money than any previous plan you do wonder how the world copes when so many can't even think in a straight line.

I do often wonder nowadays how things that seem perfectly obvious to me, with no need for any qualifications or experience, seem oblivious to most. People I meet don't seem particularly stupid, but someone out there is borrowing money at 30%, telling people to stop driving to save the climate, don't have sex before marriage, people who want their houses removed from Streetview and accost me in the street when I take photos, and buy shares when the market is crashing. I don't now know whether I'm gifted in some way or most people are just absolutely stupid, either in some areas or most. I don't understand anything complicated, I can't do maths and have no idea why anyone doing chemistry knows what to put in their compounds when creating anything from drugs to cleaners. But outside those areas I seem to cope with most things that are presented to me, although also struggle with any subtlety as I see it more as deception than anything else.

Well tomorrow I have two little shopping jobs to do, and that should take me to about 4pm or so, any photos I've taken then get put online and I get ready for the TV session. That's the routine for most days punctuated by bits of work, and unless some or any of these guys I email for voluntary work, publication, queries about road sign locations etc, plus any women I'm after come back with a positive I can't see much more happening indefinitely. I've travelled half way round the world already and wasn't impressed enough to carry on. I normally missed home sooner or later and was only too pleased to be back and in familiar surroundings when I was. I just want a quiet life with friends and family around me. If I did what I did but plus those elements I'd be as happy as needed, and a bit of media work would be the icing on the cake.
There are women who want a similar life, but how do you find them? Usually married to people you know. That's a lot of use. So currently it's good to have the freedom but can only do so much without help. And anyone who can would rather not most of the time. How long this and all the other energy blockages last is anyone's guess, as I've seen it all connected and when one door opens usually all related follow, just as when they close as they are now. And not in my power to alter, I just deal with how things are and can't yet shift any energy even within myself.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Time for a change

In the world of duality the phase of mediocrity continues, along with the usual sods in authority doing their bit for personal harmony by being the sods they are. Now in such a position I would always make the decision that made the person happy unless it was harmful or they weren't able to do the job they wanted physically. That is the purpose of authority, not to enjoy spoiling people's lives because it makes no difference to you either way. I'm not pretending to be more than I am, just clearly developed beyond these buggers spiritually although I have none of the power to try and use.

My alien regression has a place online ready to be filled now which I'll link when it has, it was just over an hour so quite a bit of writing to do and for a change it wasn't me who had to do it as we had an investigator present so I could just do my work and not all the writeup afterwards as well. In the meanwhile the computer's been playing up for a few weeks and I just got a message saying to uninstall ZoneAlarm which I did, and bingo, it's OK now. Something's working at least. Otherwise the mediocrity has carried on a few weeks now in the outer world, I've wandered round London taking photos of places I haven't before, looking for more signs on Streetview (nothing), and precious little else. I'm not complaining as the freedom is very welcome, I've just waited so long for a breakthrough which seems like it'll never happen.

So I've written to a number of big shots (in very small ponds mind you), the first is an exception as has so far completed most of what he offered to do, and just written again with a further request he may be able to help with. The others, however, are something even Big Brother has to bleep out. If you ask anyone decent a question they'll give you an answer, yes, no, I don't know, whatever. Not ignore you. As I say, I don't waste rude words lightly, but perfectly aimed at this set of misdirected individuals. But I'm writing a big article based on them and I should hint at who each is as well just in case they ever get a chance to read it and may recognise I mean them. I've learnt a lot from their misdeeds at least which in turn I've organised and fed back to others so they can recognise it, avoid doing it themselves and maybe protect themselves from others who do it to them.

The guidance and phases of all sorts continue, despite being of the highly boring type with regard to the phases. The guidance is way above phases, which seem to be waves of energy I pass through where the same thing happens for a while. The guidance is intelligent as the whole world is arranged to come to a useful conclusion and has only been happening for a few months. But I hope for more and get fed up without it. In my own life little has changed. Besides catching up with some old signs left over from my childhood nothing else has I am aware of. I work on my inner being all the time regardless of outside, and the same sort of feeling applies to that as well. I put a lot of energy in and yet to see very little although I believe it can happen and never give that one up.

So of course I know there is more, I remember some of it and see the rest elsewhere, and that is missing from my experience. Nearly all of it. People, places, feelings, experiences, the lot. All blocked as yet. I wonder if when one shifts they all will as energy does change and one tends to follow after another. It may come as a thief in the night suddenly with no warning, or I may see clues or feelings in advance as I have sometimes. I am doing the most someone can do on their side but at levels like this it's outside our say to make these changes happen. If just one big one could show itself I'd have a bit of relief and maybe change the energy enough to let another in and more. I have a few I've personally requested and other people have the say to fix each issue, I did my bit already.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

A free week more or less

There's half an hour before the TV starts (3 hours!) so got this in first while I have the time. They've just upgraded blogger but means all my data and links are gone and have to find it all over again although I haven't got the URL for the free counter. That may be a blessing with the relatively poor attendance (lucky to reach double figures now after a regular 50 a day in 2006) but still like to know.
Nothing really to report but with no replies from a few relatively important messages there was a very small chance there could be. Now the national quiz is over (4 1/2 months, I came 7th worldwide after 8th last time) I'm spending more time on Facebook, partly to clear the requests (they stop counting at 100 and am nearer 10 times that) but have a lot more friends arriving as well to keep up with. I'd rather have sex with a few of them but can't have everything (well anything really).

I am about to write a lecture on all the material I've got regressing alleged alien abductees after the weekend's session. Although invited to Birmingham for it I think that would probably have put me off all my life, I've done a removal job to Manchester but a bit different hauling furniture and getting the train home again. I've done two mind body spirit fairs in London before and would be happy to put it on in them but will see the reception when I've written it. But this is a small community so should be passed on to the London branch of whatever puts these things on. That would get me pretty well known, albeit hard work but as I used to lecture for a few hours a day on law is not unfamiliar, although that is built in me and found when I left my notes behind gave the same lecture without any. That was also why I gave up as it became so incredibly boring.

I'm still free ahead, and the fact nothing obvious besides housework and gardening are on the system still is better than any plans. Unless I find another old sign or have a female visitor there aren't really many other things I can think of, besides my friends coming back from America one day in the future. I can always meditate and is a lot more to see on Youtube to teach me more although it's not been working properly for a while. That is undoubtedly the key to success in your inner life, while the rest no longer matters so much. Most people are satisfied with their outer and inner lives (lucky them) but I see the gaps and not happy to live with them the rest of my life if I can avoid it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Being myself

I was taught lateral thinking long ago, found I was pretty good at it but had to keep practising or I'd lose it. Exams and things took over and although I just remember the principals aren't even sure if I now use them naturally or forgotten how to apply it entirely. It is bloody useful though if you ever want to check it out. I do know if you do the opposite to normal it's one way to do it, and where your actions lead maybe your fate follows. I will see.

It's still chores and to add to the phrase 'Hull, Hell and Halifax' I've got to add Hendon which was today's little anticlimax. I saw a shop with a rough location online that had something I needed and was it there? Was it bollocks. I've asked now and hope it wasn't taken years ago and now closed down as I suspect. My digital camera went funny on the dodgy video function since I dropped it, but at least hasn't affected the camera part I use most days. And I have a proper video camera but don't always carry it unlike the other.
So besides a potential booking on Tuesday my three fully free days are almost done with two of work ahead. And not all paid in case anyone's concerned about it. All I really did in that time was two photo trips and chores that needed to be done, but far from all of them. And with no grandma to go and see have not spoken to a single person in front of me besides in shops. But I'm so used to it I barely notice but wonder how many other people below 80 can say that?

Just for fun I've had two calls from Aktiv Data on my mobile supposedly trying to get hold of some debtor I've never heard of. They are all over the complaint websites and although it's easy to be given the wrong number or make a mistake as soon as I told them it was the wrong number they tried again a few days later. I'd say 50-50 on another but now I know who they are as I checked I am really going to wind them up if they do as I have plenty of spare time. I may give them the address of someone else who is owed one, or ask how they found me or whatever. If they want to waste my time and theirs I may as well get them to do it properly.
I am still collecting no-replies from messages to various people in authority. All I gained was enough material for a quite long article on authority and its abuse. The one thing I am thankful for is my qualifications make people read my articles before they decide whether to reject them or not. You do need some experience in the job besides being qualified and I'm now nearly 15 years into that so quite supplied with case histories to apply to my theories.

One reason I'm so crude and outspoken here is I'm not allowed to at work or was in my online work for 5 years. You have to let it out somewhere and my ex line manager there who taught me 80% of what I know about running websites showed me how to relax afterwards as well. I know if most people here met me they wouldn't expect the filth and rage I drop off here to be possible, but it's only ever used in writing unless someone attacks me directly. I'm a laid back hippy who likes nothing more than a very quiet life with as much sex as possible. I've fought, won and achieved and approaching 40 let alone 50 am ready to settle down like one of my furry pussycats and stay at home. Why the hell not as long as I can get a woman who wants to join me?
Further ambitions as reported already include benefits from my meditation, published work, more TV appearances, moving back to where I used to live and various others. None of which may happen of course, laterally or not.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Everything is trivial at the moment

I think the theme for over a week in my life has been everything that's been done and happened is trivial. You know the major important events and incidents that make any day or week worth doing, well none of them. I've been getting locally and privately made signs all over the place which don't count in the official collection, except one I found today where the jury's out. And that's the highlight. Otherwise I've been doing a bit of everything. Work has been fairly busy, and sorting out my late grandparent's house. The rest has been local photo trips taking variations of the other 10,000 photos I've put on Flickr, seeing no one (grandma was two evenings a week till last month), hardly any gardening as it's rained a lot, and that's about it.

Besides a cancellation today meaning it was free after all the next two days are as well so far. I haven't a clue what I'll do besides my annual football predictions and maybe finishing the non-urgent accounts. I've got used to not having any plans after a few weeks of it, and am working Friday and Saturday to save me thinking of even more. My first daydream when it goes quiet is to slip into the past, but I think I've recalled every possible memory between 1961 and 1980 or so now and can't do a thing to bring any of them back besides finding the road signs like there were then. And also my aims for the future are far more based on what I've had and missed than any imagination. Just recreate something like I had but without as many bits missing. And of course I appreciate everything good I took for granted and then lost, although little has come back.

So the obvious future is like the past, but needn't be. The local sign should officially be painted by this week although I bet they don't tell me even if they do. The woman who wanted to see me has done nothing (big deal), probably as she may have now remembered who I am (big deal again). But people who do avoid me on remembering me at 14 always forget we are all immature at 14 but usually grow up as I have. And did they act like angels as teenagers? I doubt it. And however long I live I'll hope for better. So far the majority of good news has been the end of a bad situation rather than actually adding anything (besides finding old signs that is). But I won't get the few I missed before I officially collected them and were the last in the country. Did I know that at the time? Of course not. As I said years ago most mistakes are from lack of information and given the right status of anything around you will allow you to deal with it as you should. Including who you can trust as well. Most people are either reliable or indifferent, only a few will stitch you up but they're not always obvious. And if you trust the majority it's easier to rely on the wrong 'uns.

That was a phase a few months ago when everyone I requested things from dropped me right in it. Thank goodness one finally let me paint the no entry sign, otherwise I got sod all, unless the second sign is also painted as promised which is a bonus. But every single fucking journalist (well their editors who are the biggest arseholes) has let me down, which really confirms what everyone else said about them. That phase ended with others already described to follow. I just read in the Celestine Prophecy (which I didn't even know I had) more than average (1000s of times in my case) coincidences point to more happening and are the first insight. And when enough people share this everyone will try and find out why as clearly it means there's a hidden force at work. Well as a) I'm free tomorrow and b) I'm bored and c) I'm ready for more then I'd like the hidden force to operate tomorrow and provide something else for me, with no effort (another 'old' concept) but just arrive as I'm ready to get it. And if effort was limited per lifetime I think I've spent all mine already. Time to retire from that treadmill.

Anyway, if the force can provide signs every time I'm stuck then it can provide other things as well when required. And the second misconception is having to wait for things. No effort and no waiting. And again I've waited 49 years for many things on my list so done waiting as well. Not just I deserve it, we all do.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Over half the week done

I'm not quite sure if there is such a thing as a typical week, but if so it's been one so far. Work Tuesday, a bit tomorrow then a little walk round Golders Green, and today totally free. Besides the inevitable seeing no one (as today) the freedom is never a bad thing. I surveyed all the private estates in St Johns Wood (sorry to the 99% of both readers who don't know where any of these places are but all on Streetview now) as I found a lot on there, and got 5 old signs but all unofficial, three were privately made and two were for cyclists. Then I cashed more vouchers for a couple of week's meals and that was it. I've also got the hedge cutters repaired but was raining when I got back today so got the front done at least that people see.

Everything's what you'd call just above neutral, as free and have still managed to find some more proper old signs as I keep looking until I've covered everywhere. But guidance either exists or not, and since it's worked by leading me to the signs, then it's now helpful as well and should extend to the other things I need. I'm past suffering for my benefits and as well as believing I've done enough for the lifetime simply can't take it any more either. No restaurants or theatres to impress a woman as I'd be like a plane phobic half way across the Atlantic. Just my nature and need a woman who won't mind. I want a woman to have around my normal life, I'm not 16 any more and neither are they and most people get all that shit out of their system when they get old enough to settle down. And nearly 50 should be well old enough.

I'm still refining my big article, not spiritual enough for the spritual magazine and too important for a few professionals to see who probably already know it. It includes the formula of someone in power taking something away from a lesser being simply because they can. It makes no difference to them but can ruin the victim's life. It's happened to me on and off as long as I can remember and once they've moved on a few minutes later I've been left with something permanently missing for no reason. I doubt I can reform any of these as they're beyond repair in most cases, but still want to draw everyone's attention to it least of all so they can collectively avoid such people. We all have our natural abilities and I see what happens around me and fit each piece in until I see enough of a picture to point it out. Whether a single person has learnt is another story but as it costs nothing to share then I continue to do so.

With so little of the ordinary making a lot of difference you can see why I and so many others look to the extraordinary for excitement, in the form of the supernatural. Precious little of that around in the way of stories but the way life has now fitted together from similar phases, words and synchronicities to total arrangement is the most supernatural thing of all as it's affecting everything at once. But still out of my hands and only visible when it chooses to happen. Other things may take days or more to create while I'm on a road but not aware of it, so when everything seems normal and dull in fact it is heading somewhere. I hope. And I don't expect too much as most of what I want is based on the past rather than an imagined future. I've seen what's possible and just want it for myself. And very little outside the very narrow bounds of business can be earned by sheer effort. Far from it.