Thursday, November 03, 2005


No sooner did I see blogger #1s remarks about basically 'Can't please all the people all the time' I then read one of my other regular reader's blogs also going crazy over receiving no comments. He also said how talented he was and would be famous, and though I wouldn't dream of such a remark myself I also feel ready for fame, but always have. As I said, part of the blogging game, but I don't give up. And Al, five regular commenters isn't too bad, about the same as me. And for every reader that doesn't comment that goes up as well, plus I also get emails as well instead sometimes.

For those who worry about me here (at least one so could be others) I do appreciate it. From the inside I only see the present situation, but readers can see trends of the slide downhill at times from what I say, and it's really the fact that any problems I have which on their own would be annoying have all arrived at once. I'm sure everyone has their bending point (as I'm not broken by it), it just takes more for some than others. And of course anyone in the shit tends to like a support group and find fellow sufferers who understand them. Just human nature.

One more thing I was taught by a therapist long ago is what we should expect from friends and partners. Basically when their going gets tough you give them support not rejection. This is because when I start finding it impossible to do certain things for whatever reason I worry one by one people will get fed up with me for not joining in and drop me for more active friends. He asked me if I'd do that and I said of course not, I like my friends for who they are and couldn't care less what they can and can't do. So if I had a girlfriend who didn't like something I did, like seeing my friends, I'd just accept it, and in fact there have been two who didn't, and though I now expect I know what it's like not often going to films or restaurants for them with me, it couldn't ever put me off someone. It's being with people that's top of my list, everything else is second. And most events I do go to are ones friends aren't interested in so I go on my own and enjoy them as I am interested. I just wanted to say this now as if I met a woman today I wouldn't be up to going to many places and realised it wouldn't make any difference to me, so it shouldn't for them if they liked me enough (though in the real world not everyone's such a saint I know).

So, a little bit of practical life lessons there, I really do need to find more people who do understand these things so I can see it work in practice as like so many of my clients I tend to look out and assume everyone's doing better than me when I'm down. That's why it's so important to say so and share it, as others then realise they're not alone and it's both a part of life and one where we can support each other and get closer, not further apart.

There endeth today's lesson


Philosopher Newport said...

Sometimes I get sick of acting cool and unconcerned about things such as lack of sales and/or comments. I write because I have to---that's my cake---but I want to eat it, too, via sales & accolades. And I know my voice is unique and my work is lightyears beyond average and so I can't help but anticipate loads of comments and book sales. And when these fail to materialize I sometimes feel hopeless and desperate and begin thinking that I've been deluding myself all along. But I get over it. It's just a momentary panic of sorts expressed & exorcised via the written word.

British Gas just stopped by to check the meters...and one of the cats had just shat (in litter box) prior to his unannounced I've been smoking grass...and that's what he walked into: whiffs of fresh, hot cat turds and clouds of the UK's finest. Lucky him.

I called in sick to workhell today. Told them I have a thunderous headache. I don't really. I just wanted to stay home and get high and write. Haven't played hooky like this for years. Used to do it on a monthly basis.

Each day is a lifetime, David. And you will die in the here and now. There is not a tomorrow, only another here and now with, perhaps, differents situations & circumstances, but it will still be here and now, and you will still be you. The loneliness you feel is essentially a longing for Home, and you will feel it no matter who you are with. It only seems to disappear when we are with others, but that's only a distraction. And there's nothing wrong with that. Mortal life is nothing but froghopping from one distraction to the next. Distracting ourselves from the glaring yet murky fact that we are not at Home and that we will be yanked out of this condition at any moment (death).

Wanna get high?

David said...

Good stuff as always, reminds me of the time I was teaching at home and we'd just got the cat a litter tray as he was going indoors when it rained. A really posh young girl came for a politics lesson and as soon as we sat down in the kitchen the cat produced one of the largest smelliest piles of his life. No surprise she never came back... Ah, memories.