Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Someone makes work...

For idle hands. I've been drifting around catching little inspirations for a few days. As expected and planned, Friday was a week crammed into one day, I had to go to Finchley twice and the first time wore me out 100 times more than expected. I'm clearly not totally over my exhaustion over the summer, and wonder how long it'll take before my full energy comes back. I still feel like I've been up for 20 hours after sleeping almost a half of the last two days... Still, short of going away for a couple of weeks while being looked after, which isn't going to happen, I just have to hope it fixes itself, and before I need another blood test just in case like I did last time it happened years ago.

One inspiration I had was to make a list of all the friends I'd had all my life, classify them into levels and then see where I'd met them all. It ended up with level 1, best friends, 2, second best (logical), 3, last resorts and everyone else didn't qualify at all. There were fairly equal bunches of each, following every friend I'd had since I was about 5. Just a curiosity, but when things start going awry I like to check up and see if there's anything I can do about it, and the friends front has become pretty dire over the last few years as all the married ones have gone off to do their own things, plus a newly separated one. It showed how I meet people and filter them out until the ones remaining are clearly best friend material. A few have lasted, some left or became bored/boring, but until recently always came as old ones went so I never noticed the join. But as Buddha said, nothing lasts and of course noe of us do either. Happy subject?...

This week (only via diary, no guesses as they are now verboten) is free so far and I have a few plans to make the most of the time, and will report after the event as you know what plans end up as if reported in advance. Yes, chopped liver or worse. I also plan to go to bed an hour earlier on average, which as totally under my control can be reported. My health and life is in question and need to sort it out.
Otherwise, frozen situations become more frustrating every week, not just for me but all involved. I do have a new name to do my new kitchen, and may be sorted before the new year, but no celebrations yet. The TV transmission has generated more worry, especially towards the end as we've been waiting almost a year to hear the date and see a video, and it just seems like it never happened as it's an all or nothing situation and the longer we wait the further from reality it feels. Ditto with the magazine I wrote for, I haven't the slightest idea if they'll get the funding to go ahead yet, and finally I have two paintings now ready to deliver to the gallery if they'll have them. And I may never even sell one! Being on the edge of success is no better in reality than nothing simply as the 'now' is exactly the same either way, ie nothing. Once one or more of these megaliths does materialise the next stage planned is more of the same, and hopefully for money. I know half the world is in the same position as me, having bills and nothing coming in, but its a lovely new experience for me and something I have absolutely no conceivable need to experience but do anyhow. Maybe tomorrow I'll do a piece on angelic intevention as someone is writing about their experiences and I replied if they are around why the heck are they rationed so drastically when humans clearly can't sort out many of the problems themselves. I will see.

News will follow one way or another. I was inspired to write that, I have no idea what it means.

No comments: