F.A. days

Not an awful lot to report from the last few days, pretty stereotyped except for picking up a usb hub well after normal closing time on the Hanger lane gyratory. A bit pricey for a 4 holer but at least I've got it all up and running now, and Late night Monday to Saturday evenings the webcam should be up most afternoons till after midnight and usually stay on if I'm in or out. Maybe I'll leave some messages up if I go out for some variety at least.

Nothing known ahead this week, which means 'I'm free!', which is a good thing. I won't ever imagine ahead but can plan my part which I am in control of, which involves hopefully finishing my large painting and at least one trip with the webcam, which will all be posted here. I also made one call which is waiting for a positive (or even any) reply, and if not another issue eliminated, but admittedly very speculative. But aren't they all nowadays. I also had a message asking me to chase up the TV company themselves about the production date as one of the other 'stars' has been trying to find out. Thank God I'm not the only one getting very impatient as they planned it for around the new year and it's almost December. Otherwise my recent health problems are limiting my scope drastically. Basically since August when I caught the 'Feel like you're dying suddenly and rush to the toilet' virus, I was left both incredibly tired and prone to similar attacks on a smaller scale. That means I can't trust myself in many situations where I can't get to a toilet quickly etc (spare the details) and am becoming a bit of a prisoner as a result, and worry pretty much about taking women out should I stumble across one as I'm going nowhere at the moment. I have learnt I wasn't actually agoraphobic before as now I can see the real thing. I was more claustrophobic with agoraphobic tendencies. And the clincher was once the anxiety returned the damn pills that allowed me to function before gave me the most violent rear reaction (especially as I had to take them before going to bed) I can't even take them now and until we find something that does work without escaping the opposite end I'm working without a net.
They call it facing your fears, which is exactly how it turned out, and explained why in the last few months I haven't been much of a happy bunny, which at least one person spotted. But a psychologist I came across agreed totally with me that facing your fears head on is the same as any other head on collision, a nasty mess being the inevitable result. Far better to edge along gradually with no step too big to feel unclimbable. That's proper behavioural therapy, not trying to do it all in one go. So I've finally shared it all here, and if I can even make a bit of a joke about it as well may make it seem a little less important and frightening.

On to other things, I still have a few achievable medium term ambitions, and the main one being a three figure weekly income from my media work. I've been building this up for a few years on a voluntary basis and now getting the first wider use which may lead to payment. In fact they just had a guest on the radio from a blog that attracts millions, but it's dedicated to slagging off celebrities... What a small-minded sad world it is where the most easy and boring activity gets the most interest, especially where you can read it all in so many papers and magazines already. It appears single issue blogs do get more views than diaries (who knows why), so I'm considering a second blog in case I can attract the sort of hit rate that gets you noticed. But I can't think what to write it about. I've a few suggestions, let's see what you all think of them.

Number plate sightings (including location and car details)
My cat's daily diary
Neurosis daily
Local road holdups(in retrospect) and accidents
The weather in Kingsbury
Curry and take away review
What's hot in IKEA
Bodger and Badger, the daily analysis

Actually, I suspect most of these do enter these pages from time to time (or may in the future) but milking each single issue into a whole blog seems flavour of the month and apparently unless I do that I'm never going to reach a double figure readership, let alone a million...