Well, Nick Roach said life gives you the experiences you need, and you can't learn new tricks without situations to practice on. It also showed me however much you want to be saved from things, as Oxfam says, you need to learn how to fish rather than depend on others for it indefinitely, so it is beginning to make sense. So what happened?
Today, after a few days of relatively smooth running, I had a couple of really annoying but relatively harmless things arrive as soon as I got up. I started to react and then realised Nick Roach's words, 'Do what you have to do, but without the emotions', and instantly realised I could test myself and do the two replies I had to give to these queries without any emotional attachment. The first was the easy one which was done in a few minutes as a practice, and then the second one was planned and done and apart from a separate query I have to check elsewhere, all dealt with as far as it needed to be. And with no emotional investment. In a year, this is actually the first time I've been able to apply another aspect of Nick's teaching besides being aware where I am and how I feel, and I can say not only did it work, but I'm sure those situations (in as much as I can be) were sent to give me the opportunity to practice, and realise in being saved from outside I have to do my bit as well.
There are still the usual gaps in my life as before, but if I can now emotionally detach from each one by one I may get closer to the peace I've been looking for and become less and less affected by what goes on outside.