Saturday

Arrangements are only a potential, so when the friend who was meant to come today couldn't make it I was faced with the usual aimless Saturday until I go to the gym in the evening. The first thing to do was upload every digital photo I want for printing. That is being done now, and luckily all the other little jobs I discovered need doing are the sort I like and will only have time to get a start before I go out.

So the next few weeks are the great unknown, as my TV programme is out in four weeks and the one thing on the horizon I am looking forward to. I'm only in it for a few minutes, but is my first speaking role and something I've wanted for most of my life. I'll give more details nearer the time.

Well, I've more or less discovered and presented my philosophy now, and without the freedom of the blog may never have got it out so clearly. A blog is truly like counselling as you can talk about yourself with no interruption, though I do have to censor a few things here it is just as useful to me. I have also written to my doctor hoping by laying out my case on paper he will have more time to understand it rather than the usual garbled five minute conversation, as a few people I know have expressed concern so I want everyone to know I am doing something about it. I may have to become a fatalist (ie accept what comes) as whatever may or may not be the case, if it's made clear to me whatever it is I will have to live with it. And my computer just protested as I was writing, saying I didn't have enough virtual memory. What? It's a 40gb drive for Chrissake, with the relevant RAM, so what on earth does it think it's up to? Has uploading ten little photos overloaded it, as I just dumped 300mb of obsolete program it can't be the hard disk.

I've uploaded another music video on the same youtube.com page, which took so long to upload I was up all hours last night and swore never again. And I'll do a final keyboard one by request and then call it a day. But it's very nice to be able to make the equivalent of a talent show online and become a virtual TV star.

And medically one thing I do know, sex always helps. That is another treatment I can't get from the doctor's. Has everything really gone out of control at last? Keep watching to find out.