Saturday, February 18, 2006


This could well be the darkest post I ever do, but one intended to aim for the light at the end of the tunnel. I just lost another half a tooth. It was quiet, now it's still quiet with half a tooth missing. Often happens (till they run out altogether) maybe every year or two. With my recent anxiety I often thought what if I need to go to the dentist, at least my teeth were ok. I haven't got tablets yet (long conferences going on to decide what to try next) so will probably have to face it raw. Great prospect.

So why do I mention it? I wondered if by facing up to one classic problem whether it would be possible to find some good in it as the 'strength through adversity' crowd insist. Sharon already reminded me there was no pain, and I realised soon after if I don't actually think about it it would help as well as there's no benefit in doing so. If only there were visiting dentists. I'm claustrophobic and the pain sometimes involved is no party either. They used to have notrous oxide but that's unpopular now and there seems there'll be little extra help when the time comes.
It also makes my other problems seem strangely distant. We can only focus on so much and it does seem to have put the other stuff in proportion. I'd still prefer not having to fight fire with fire, and surely there are better ways of relieving a situation than replacing a chronic one with an acute one, which may also remove the chronic one when relieved. My grandma had a similar treatment for her asthma, they deliberately gave her the flu and when it left it took the asthma with. This was in the 1940s, how they worked that treatment out god only knows, but it worked. Life has the same for me now, but is surely the least preferable and has to be a soft alternative surely?

If I'm going through a shamanic preparation, I need my mind and body to be replaced, and better than before. How that could be I can only pass over to the forces who control that area as I'm buggered if I can fathom it out. Meditation is another area to follow which has been overlooked recently. It has allowed me to override things in the past so may be forcing me to again.
Silver linings in clouds. This again means a controller making complex situations with folded in hidden meanings like a Chinese puzzle. The only one I could think of was the cure like with like, but that's a horrible way of doing it and if I was in control wouldn't even consider doing something like that. Probaly why I'm not...

So, today has started like an evil spell or curse, and I'm now mentally killing myself trying to find some crumbs of goodness within it. If I don't I'll literally go mad. I bet they have good dental departments in the loony bin...

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