Sunday, February 05, 2006


I’m entering an area outside my own understanding, but a theory which may extend from what I have learnt so far. There’s a shamanic principle that involves the student either being torn apart and rebuilt during an other world journey, or literally through a serious illness or injury. This is also used in modern Gestalt psychotherapy (meaning whole) where the client’s mind is broken apart to be rebuilt in a better form.

Whether there is a shred of validity in these ideas remains unknown. But they seem to be pushing themselves into my awareness almost as if I’ve been forced on a mission not for myself (as the suffering so far has been far too great) but for the population in general. At least there would have been a point in it if there was. I would have called the lot bollocks myself had I not studied shamanism, and when I see the theory appear possibly applying to me I have to look into it. I became a reiki master in 1997, and studied shamanic practice at college in 2001, so I’m not speaking as a layman. That was on top of 6 months in a psychic development group in 1991-2. I learnt a lot of abilities that people are not supposed to do are not just possible but some are completely natural, using principles now being discovered in quantum physics (where conventional rules cease to apply, just like psychics). But the reconstruction, as well as my next theory, are all based on a level of science virtually on a par with fairy stories. If people are on a mission they are unaware of until complete, it means at a point outside their awareness they were either chosen or chose (and then forgot) this mission, and most of their life previous to it was in preparation, without their having any idea it was.

That would mean a network of life beyond our own where we were at a low level, with strings being pulled by beings beyond our normal awareness and certainly not within our physical universe. All coincidences would cease to be a surprise if everything was being directed from a team outside our world. We can’t help noticing where things are put together in ways impossible to be by chance. They can’t make it too bloody obvious as we’d all realise we weren’t alone or independent, and the cover would be blown. And if they are preparing an individual for a mission, they can reveal anything they like, as I’ve discovered whatever they show to an individual can never be proved to others. But many people I know both here and on the internet have ‘caught’ my coincidences. Similar examples to my own are now reported regularly, and so consistently many people now look for and expect them to keep happening. I’ve said before when I hear an odd name now I say ‘We’ll hear that again soon’ and always do. All recorded in a little book. Even my mother’s total logic as a retired judge has been shaken when she’s heard something even she knows she hasn’t before (after telling me I must have but forgotten it) and again very soon after.

So, having laid out my mission and philosophy, I now want to know what it’s been provided for. There should be a purpose, and hopefully more than simply helping a few isolated people, which I can do anyway as a therapist. Which leads me to my second related theory. Revelation.

In religious and fairy stories throughout history you hear about ordinary people who may have felt a bit different suddenly being told they were a prince or great master when the time was right. Everything in their life was building to that moment and whatever they learnt apparently by random events was provided for their role. Most great people are either born to it or spend their lives working towards it, and only in fairy stories do you really come across the kitchen maid who turns out to be a princess. Or do we? Imagine suddenly discovering whatever you’d been through was because you were destined for greatness and you’d be leading millions of people to a better life? Pretty amazing.
It’s interesting that since my recent health problems somehow all the jobs that had to be done have been, and in fact the work I’ve produced by being stuck locally so much has been far beyond anything I have in the past. I have mental energy while at home even if the physical varies, and each time I’ve been stuck indoors I’ve sat down and done something I could look back at the end of the day and be pleased with. I shouldn’t look at alternatives, what I think I should have done, or would in the past, but what I actually did. Doing crosswords in Starbucks. Not very productive, and means nothing beyond putting on weight eating cakes and mixing with total strangers beyond whoever I went there with. I suppose being physically forced not to piss around doing things most people do on their days off but fill my time actively albeit mainly indoors has its sense. But did it really need such extreme tiredness and worse in order to make this happen? I have no idea what’s happening at the moment, but the fact my very dark cloud still has a silver lining shows there may be more going on than meets the eye. Makes no logical sense but many things don’t.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

It might make logical sense if at some point we were allowed to see the big picture. Of course that generally only happens in retrospect.