Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Making sense of chaos

Before I start, this shows at least the Japanese have taste, as they not only make the best quality cars but have realised that however new they may be, there's nothing to stop them making the fronts look 50 years old when they had faces. Here's one of the only models made of the 'classic' range, this is Subaru's retro version of their Vivio. We have a couple of hundred Daihatsu Mira Classics made in 1998 here but that's all.

Anyway, on to Wednesday. Free at last. Apart from a new client tomorrow which is fine really I have cleared my load of crap out of the way. Waiting for nice things to happen is another story and I haven't heard from Sky 1 since Friday to rearrange their visit, and I get a bad feeling they have gone off the idea though with no reason to. I now see blogger has joined Funtrivia in double-shifting so my paragraphs are going to look funny till it gets sorted out. (paragraph) By the law of averages I meet some hot women (as we all do) and though I like them, if I meet a) 100 b) 1000 and c) 1000000 how many will it need before one thinks I'm nice as well? So far the last in practice was 1980 and in theory was 1992 as she said she did and buggered off with a friend she was with previously. I've established, purely through my blog and comments, that I have an average chance of getting a woman, all things considered. The major disadvantages are weighed out by the advantages so I end up roughly in the middle, and most average people are married by 30. I've fiddled around working, studying and then writing and painting, picking up women who either want to marry me within weeks who I see as attractive as a glass of urine in the desert. It might do the job but I'd rather have anything else in preference (depends whose urine, but that's another matter).

I have gone overboard doing other things to keep busy, and few have worked. I imagine men in prison for years getting nothing, and though I get my share at random times from old girlfriends who I didn't choose to keep but they prefer what they know (women tend to bond for a very long time unlike men who move on) it's all second best. If someone gives you two sweets, one tastes like garlic and another strawberry, both are similar, perform the same function but you like one and tolerate the other. You can't change the taste and I can't change how I react. No wonder I'm so bitter and twisted, I haven't had anyone decent for as long as I remember. Being the most important thing in my life that's a recipe for an unfulfilled life, though other things are pretty useful as well if they happen. But apart from enlightenment without the sex little else really counts for more than a few minute's happiness.

So, without the use of a prostitute (somehow I am left with a few standards, plus unless they could advertise I'm not going knocking on doors until I find one I like) I can miss out for life. If my friend hadn't been so jealous he ordered his ex back as I had met up with her things would be totally different. Even if I'd had to get rid of her as she had holes in her brain (just imagine what someone would be like with that, and that was her, she was born like that) I'd have had one of the best I know and could die happy. If I died tonight I'd have knocked off half the second level ambitions of life and maybe two of the top. That is not enough, but even if I live to 95 I can't engineer the others. So the best things are the hardest to get. Is that a way to design life? I don't need a sense of achievement except for exams just so I know they didn't make it easy and I really was clever. Otherwise I'd like things easily, though others prefer a challenge that's their concern. Cause and effect. The further I look the more sense it makes. I have been given impossible situations and reacted as anyone else would. I should know, it's my profession...

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