Sunday, July 02, 2006

A present for you

It’s a bit too quiet here at the moment so the one place I can rely on is the screen. And my present is the fact I’ve decided to do my best to make as much as I can of the available space for the readers out there. I can’t even watch Millionaire from video as it recorded the programme before it, despite the use of videoplus (98% reliable, this was the 2%). How a coding can raise a programme so close is a mystery as usually when it screws up it’s always something next year at 3am. Too late now and even less activity to keep my mind occupied I’m now watching Big Brother live, which is better than nothing but I’ve already been watching it the last 2 hours so wanted a break.

This is live blogging, something I can’t usually do but actually describing not what I’ve done, but what’s happening right now. As if you were with me. Now if anyone wants to do a search for Araya Mengeshu of Mystery Hunters they can see a similarly weird reality v fantasy situation, after sitting at home with an unknown and unseen very quiet kid from Canada, and then sitting on the same chair and watching him on TV at 5.20pm day after day. Now of course if Kirsty Allsopp (100% on all fronts), Carol Vorderman (almost as good) or Davina McCall (seen her actually) were in my house I’d be correspondingly impressed at the time, but this was in delay, as this guy’s clearly quite a star across the Atlantic. Now financially I can’t rely on the income I currently have for reasons of our government’s opinion on benefits. They may be the Labour party and embrace every soviet anti travel policy, the green’s anti travel policy and unlimited immigration, but more like the fascists (the Torys weren’t that bad actually as I remember) they are cracking down on benefits. That means I have to make the shift from media friendly provider of information to officially paid media personality. Luckily the first step is probably 80% of the way, and the last 20% should come fairly naturally. At the moment writing appeals the most as I can do it from home and do it anyway, whoever reads it. A book would be ideal if I got an advance as that would be not only a year’s pay at once, but the ones I read about are 5 times what I get in a year so would be like getting 5 years dole in one go.

But pleasures while alone are only one dimensional. I curiously await the details of my friend’s American difficulties. Health problems should have been reported already so my only guess is financial, which wouldn’t surprise me having liquidated all his assets to stay there. I prefer to take no risks and try to guarantee what I have will remain mine as there’s no rule that says I’ll get any more. That’s why I never went into business as you can lose as well as make, whereas investing nothing the worst you get is nothing. My advertising is all I spend in advance and that’s an annual limit I never exceed and this year spent on a course instead as the ads hadn’t paid for themselves last time. Of course he never actually told me whether he invested all or any of his cash in his new business but I hope he didn’t as it could all be pissed away very quickly.
Otherwise I am still meeting the occasional inappropriate woman. I don’t know really if even the ones on paper who seem appropriate to others are otherwise I would have had many by now, but 20 years older than me is usually considered so by all except my cock, which has a total disregard for the time a person has been alive. I have invited her to get in touch with me and will see if she does, and then if so whether she is interested in more as well. Of course it’s not the general public who judge a woman as being inappropriate or not, it’s the woman, and as long as eventually one decides she is then the rest of the world will look on amazed and wonder what we see in each other. Of course we see exactly the same as any other couple would, but most people are too Victorian to handle anything outside the tramlines of British decency, like my mother.

I always used to think if I was taller I’d get women more easily, but in fact still got loads. I just never got very far with the ones I really liked. Now I’m losing my hair as well the only power I have is over my shape, so I lift ridiculous weights 3 times a week just to do something to make up for what nature forgot to do. Personality seems to count for little unless you’re a complete psycho as each person will like you for a personality that fits with theirs, not for whether yours is right or wrong. I am far from being a psycho (whatever the Sarah with the natural nasal extention thought) and besides going through phases of having limited places I can go to (I doubt that’s as rare as I think it is) I don’t do anything funny at all. That, unfortunately, makes me a ‘good friend’. IE one women want to tell their problems to and feel good with, not have sex with. I swear if another woman wants to tell me her boyfriend problems I’ll murder them. It’s the biggest insult a woman can ever give a man. I doubt until anyone read this more than three women on earth realised this. It’s basically like telling a man he’s a eunuch as far as you’re concerned, or even worse, another girl. I’d far rather be called gay as at least that accepts my sexuality. Treating a man like a woman should be outlawed in school and wiped out at an early age. It’s actually saying ‘I’d rather be having sex with this total arsehole than you’. Once a woman starts this track I switch off. I pretend to listen and try not to get involved. The trouble is I have so little social life I’d rather they still saw me and accept this facet as an unavoidable side effect of the medication of their friendship. I’ll never be able to change women. They come to who they want like cats, and are often a lot harder to communicate with as well. I will say the Americans aren’t like this so much, but they’re in America and little practical opportunity to mine the rich vein of civilised behaviour so lacking this side. Mind you when they come here they seem to turn British very quickly, I’ve met quite a few and they actually end up behaving exactly the same when push comes to shove and theory becomes practice, which is really what I’d expect as women should be the same worldwide and if they are similar here they’d be unlikely to vary much in reality, only on the surface.

So, this latest woman isn’t like the last, ie marriage material (she still doesn’t know who I mean!) but is a very nice person and still quite attractive and worth hooking up with. But it’s out of my hands now, like my friend’s next email, the TV schedules, who uses my articles and really most of what’s valuable in life. And if I don’t analyse everything in life for my own use and benefit that’s one more job that may never get done, and when I share it here and elsewhere may actually help others to organise the chaos that is our lives.

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