Sunday, October 08, 2006

Power and control

I am risking becoming a parody of myself by doing this. I seem to have gone round in so many circles I've finally come bck to the beginning. My life is so regularly organised there's little that can be different and my ongoing search for more via the supernatural has turned up some interesting and totally unaccepted phenomena but not yet under enough control to be much use. I am certain we are all able to connect to all information in existence but as it's like our first steps it's not yet impressive enough to turn many heads. I have seen auras but can't maintain it. And the synchronicities in life imply an external controller who likes to bully and take the piss, not the great father as seen by religions. Sometimes I get a reward like two events coinciding to save me going to one, but that's about the best it gets.

Other than that I believe as long as I live alone my life will not change. I'd thought of infinite ways to cheat the system to get someone else in my house, even using a small part for business but it's all or nothing. No wife no company, end of. Even if I had a spare room who would waste money using it when they could hire a proper office? So I simply continue with the inadequate as, as Buddhists say, it's all there is so I may as well accept it. Compare it to Daniel and the lion. The lion had a thorn in its paw, it couldn't take it out but a human could. Imagine having a thorn no one can remove, you just have to live with it until it randomly falls out. That's what the philosophers expect us to do. I know no philosophies which try and reverse the polarity to fix the situation, they all say 'What you can't change accept'. The actual mechanism is only enlightenment. Unless you are already enlightened you can't accept pain of any sort, and when you're enlightened you apparently barely feel it. That will therefore not apply to all but a handful of people on earth as it simply doesn't work otherwise. Another theory bites the dust. OK, by feeling physical pain and not resisting it it does seem to reduce at times, but I doubt that could be extended much further.

I often feel these are not written by me, but for you. By someone without a keyboard. So I am inspired with ideas and because other people may be helped by my ideas I am the vehicle used. Besides ideas that build up before I write once I open a box I rarely pause or think, it just flows and needs no changes. And I am not rambling as most of my ideas work. Though I know no remedies to the ills of life I seem to be able to arrange them very nicely, like a turd sorter. The Bristol 7 colour faecal chart is a similar example, used by doctors worldwide. I take the shit, sort it out and present it in diagram form. It's still shit and still stinks but at least everyone can now understand it. Great. It seems I've been chosen to explain how clearly awful life can be. Because life has apparently clear limits of power I investigate and report what we can't do, rather than what we can. Of course we know what we can do as if we want to (provided we live in a free country) we do it. The rest we want but can't. That's where I am now. I have run out of voluntary activities besides a few photos and other creations I can't sell. Everything I want can't be done by choice, at least not my own. So even though my view of how I'd like to rearrange my life none is within my power to do, even outside the supernatural level. If everything was fine, as it used to be, then who cares, but when it drifts into the doldrums where nothing happens besides birds shitting on you you need the wind to get you out, not your brains. And no one controls the wind, not even god. You see my problem.

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