Well, it's been a fairly productive week, I planned a list of photos and did four days running and caught nearly every place I wanted before the clocks go back and I'll start a new painting. Hardly saw anyone besides my Thursday regular, meals on wheels, if you get my drift. Keeps me sane. Solitary pursuits otherwise, and am now going to pick another load to print as always. I also had my biggest ever haul on Friends Reunited search. 5 new people. One oddity (I'm not looking yesterday to see if I told it already, just roll with it) was after a dream I was in Devon on holiday (replaces the fact I haven't been for ages) someone was in it for the first time ever. I always search his sister, and was going to do a search anyway, and decided to put his name in for the first time. He was the only person who replied. How on earth did that happen?
The non-hostile person from the others hasn't replied, which is different from the Spaniard at drama classes as I don't think I often spoke to her as my tongue was always hanging out. She didn't even know me from Adam then, let alone now so no surprise, but this new one was a girlfriend even for a few minutes (story told already somewhere). I expect despite being divorced has a yobbo hanging around (she is quite the opposite, but that tends to be the attraction) and wouldn't dare reply in case he bruises her ovaries with his boots. I tend to see life in its darker versions sadly as these guesses are more often and not near the mark. Take Jeremy from primary school. He was the school Nazi (I exaggerate not) and being Jewish I knew about it personally. Now he would have been in his mid 40s when he got engaged, and the day before he got married screwed his ex he met on Friends Reunited, then got married and probably carried on seeing both onwards. People are right arseholes quite often and they tend to win the battles if not the wars. The geeks and nerds make the world the good place it is and the arseholes get all the fun. But genes win over logic and mine are all wearing anoraks.
So after 3 weeks said Spaniard baled as usual, ex girlfriend has had 3 days and out of good manners (what are they I wonder, have I invented them or did they melt with the millenium?) ought to reply, she doesn't have to give me a fucking blow job as well. But I feel no answer now, now answer at all. Probably deleted it instantly in case said imaginary Neanderthal cracked her password and left her spread across the estate. The trouble with East Enders (and why I would never watch it) is it actually fairly accurate except for having a local community in London. People like that do behave exactly as portrayed and seem to be a different species from me. I see intellectuals across racial divides. A Nigerian geek and an Asian geek are almost interchangeable with any other under the cultural differences, we can spot another at 100 miles and if in writing could never tell the race but always the brains. So the geeks stick together regardless of race and religion as we are united against the lower level alcohol dependent criminal types who are fuelled as much on aggression as we are on curiosity about the world. Tell them anything not concerning football and they call you too deep and tell you to piss off and stop boring them. The question and challenge nothing unless it's offside. Any academic achievement besides O level woodwork or an ASBO is regarded as reflecting homosexuality or at least sterility in a charitable case.
So the divide is only crossed by sex. These people give off a sexual magnetism to women of all types, and despite marrying within the class most classy birds as they call them prefer a good hard shag from an ex convict than Proust with their cunnilingus. Woody Allen may be the only intellectual who can pull the birds but then again his millions do go before him which is the next best pulling power. People like me are seen as the worker ants, very busy and useful but sexless. So many women told me it would be like fucking their own brother I've considered petitioning to have incest legalised. I'm not even anyone's brother (or cousin), so I wouldn't know. I think Woody Allen appears to have that one covered as well... allegedly. Technically said woman was my second best chance at happiness and unlike the first who was banned from seeing me, I wimped out on this one as she lived so far away. She still does but if anything gets me out she will. That would do it.
It is depressing that after someone written off as dead has returned and apparently ignored me, even though she is the only woman I dumped twice. Karma or what? If I haven't been punished on that front enough already. I calculated that had I given her a chance in 1984 I would have never got anyone better since as every woman I have succeeded with since then has been what I would call last resorts. Don't ask me how, my Dad says it's because I am as well but that's what families are for, but I have never got anyone instead since then so have gained nothing compared to possibly besides trying the opportunity to see how it would go actually keeping it long term. She seemed the type to stay and I am and frankly I can't think of one reason she would have put me off. But unless a miracle occurs I've damn well put her off this time. No surprise there anyway.