Judgement and criticism

Sometimes comments can be pretty useful. Like the time my tutor said 'I don't know if you're degree material', and with almost two years to go did all I could to (successfully) prove her wrong, and was even told by another tutor after I got my final results (and so diplomatically at that) 'you surprised us, we didn't expect you to do so well!'. I may have unintentionally veered into the Colombo school of operation, where you appear to be a total cretin to outwit people who expect very little of you. The trouble was I used that for so long afterwards as I saw quite a bit of potential in it the image took over the reality and I had to drop the false image before it ruined me.

So, again a similar comment urged me into action, disapproving of my lifestyle, and I thought something has to be clarified in general for people who go around disapproving of other peoples' lifestyles. OK, if people are hurting their own health or others that's not a lifestyle criticism, but one of safety. If not, it's really none of anyone else's business. The type of people who like to look in from the outside and feel superior for working when you don't or the like are not doing any good to anyone with their unnecessary observations and conclusions. I see other sides to that type of attitude, including one of jealousy as most mediocre but hard working people hate to see others that don't fit into their rigid systems. The basic fact is that apart from working hard, most of these sorts can't do much else. They never look at the complicated circumstances that put people in these situations, or the fact they may well be temporary, but just think anyone who doesn't toe the line shouldn't be accepted by society. Firstly you have apparently got away with beating the system (don't dare to look into the often dreadful circumstances that put anyone into that position though...), and secondly if you can actually do far more than they can they just don't like it as you're not only not working, but can do things they can't!

Mike Mendoza led an almost Hitlerite circus on the unemployed on the radio the other night. It began when a woman rang in and dared to say she wouldn't take a job outside her chosen area. Oh my god. The floodgates opened and one by one, following Mike's tirade that she ought to be shot or at least deported (my take on it, not his actual words...) callers rang in to reinforce Mike's caring and sharing opinion with crap like 'wasn't that woman evil' etc., each gaining the avuncular headmaster's approval with cooing praise, especially when in turn each one said how hard they worked, to which, in typical Orwellian mind control style (if these cretins had a mind to control) he replied 'well done, well done', as if they'd just learnt to crap in the potty for the first time. I almost felt like committing suicide by the end of it. If the old sod hadn't been serious I'd have thought it was a highly satirical crack at people with double digit IQs who had absolutely nothing they could offer, as Marx said, besides their labour, and hated anyone with the talent or imagination to pick and choose what they did with theirs. They had all been indoctrinated with the conventional view and could never think outside the box even with the help of 500 volts.

But these people will never produce anything that is remembered or left to society, not one song, poem, original idea, piece of literature or art or anything of beauty. Like the racists who listen to reggae music these types often spend their money to enjoy the fruits of their minds and hearts, but if they don't fit in society wouldn't want to mix with the people themselves who create it. Of course I'd prefer to be able to be creative and work hard(er) but if I had to take one, I'd take the creative, as I'll always have the potential to do more, but they are all working at their full potential driving their lorries and whatever else these callers do who jump on the bandwagon of witch burning every time a hippy or dropout dares to call the radio. When they see what others produce beyond their own abilities they rarely if at all think of how that person lived while they were creating it. But god forbid they come across your 'lifestyle' first before they see what you can do that's all they focus on. So if they see that despite being holed up in a home office half the day, this dropout turns out stuff with little or no effort they couldn't learn in twenty years of classes, they don't like it Captain Mainwaring...