Wednesday, January 18, 2006


My timetable is pretty regular and predictable, most days I see one of my family at some time, do bits of work now and again, and the rest of the time is on the computer, housework, going to the gym and shopping. If I'm lucky I may have someone over every week or so, and when the weather's OK I'll go for a walk or on my bike.
That's the background behind everything else, and isn't usually worth mentioning here. So whatever happens above that could appear here, big or small. Like today when my Dad was over and looking at my new photos I remembered the video I took of the same places a few years ago, and he hardly remembered any of it, and it was ages since I'd seen it.
I also had banging coming from next door around 7.30am, though luckily got to sleep again, besides having the radio on at a volume that was able to communicate with another planet. I went over to investigate and discovered in a couple of weeks the new resident will be moving in, and is a single man. A single woman would have been ideal (I know very few under 60...) but compared to a family I'm more likely to get to know him.
I've just ordered a decent office chair, the current one is about 30 years old, and I'm the third person in the family to use it. It has pins sticking out at both ends, and the sponge has gone so time for something decent at last. I bet the sods arrive at 8am with it...

On a tangent from my routine, I suspect there are women out there who wouldn't be put off by someone who's not bothered much to go out. I wouldn't ever have been, following my point on close friends, I either got on with someone or not. We stayed in, we went out, it didn't matter. Many of them stayed with me in Devon, where I went for a few weeks every year or more for over 20 years, and especially if the weather was good I lived on an estate (country estate, not council!) which was self contained and could easily spend a week without leaving it with plenty to do. That takes me to one possible ambition, inspired by Mike Reid the DJ. Some super-rich DJs like him have built a radio studio where they live and broadcast from home every day and still earn a bomb. On that tack, had I unlimited finances I'd buy a place with room for a radio studio, consulting room, separate office, art studio, snooker room (had before but not a fullsize table) with a pinball machine (also had once). Then I'd have a gym and if really rich a TV studio and recording studio. I'd rent out all the places as of course I couldn't use them all at the same time, which would mean they paid for themselves, and another place it reminded me of (name drop alert!!!) was Stanley Kubrick's house in Elstree.
Going to a showbiz-type school many actors sent their kids there, so the chances of visiting were pretty high. I went there a few times, and think I counted seven reception rooms, including a cinema where he showed everything he made privately. I never met him, as he never seemed to be around the few times I went, but just seeing the vast places the rich and famous live showed me what's possible for the rare individuals who make it big. They also had about four gardens, as behind each one there seemed to be another divided by a hedge or fence, rather than belonging to next door one just led into another. In contrast, if I hadn't converted my loft I'd be seeing clients in my open plan lounge, with two small bedrooms. Now I have a huge loft room and use my old bedroom as the office and consulting room, so all my computer shit (papers everywhere) and model cars line the room as there's nowhere else to put them (the bedroom's also full of cars, no room for more).

So the games room would display all my models, and I suppose I could have a bar and space invaders machine there as well like an American hotel (makes ours look like Camp X-Ray) and now I think a small heated pool as well. The cribs programme on MTV is full of these sort of places, though I have no idea who the Americans are who own these places, at least it shows it's possible to literally have everything if you have enough money. A four bedroom house in Hampstead Garden Suburb would actually cost the same as most of these places, as you needn't have a lot to live like a prince in the States, so they're not that rich compared to us, they just live in a very cheap country (outside a few pockets). Ours is the exact opposite. Unless you live in the north, you'll pay around $1 million for a decent detached house. More like double where I used to be. I reckon if I found one of the few plots big enough for that ambition there it would cost about £15-20 million, or $25-35 million. That's why I talk about it here- it's the nearest I'll get!

But really this house with one more person would be better than that with nobody. But both, why the hell not? We may as well think big, as one book I read tells you. But renting out studio space would bring me a full house anyway as well as the extra money, and I'd get to know all sorts of interesting people that way even if no one else actually lived there. What am I reminded of now? Neverland. He has gone even further than I ever would given the money, and if anyone thinks I've got mental problems he could trump me many times over. And still has a massive collection of obsessive fans (I know one and it's excruciating). But even I'm fascinated with him (not his music, feh!) as I was with a fairly similar (on a small scale) Jodie Marsh (now I see the similarities), and a caller on the radio tonight said she'd never seen anything like her nose. They must have crossed the plastic surgery with an entry for the Turner prize... Weird and different is always fascinating, in a car-crash sort of way, and I wouldn't want to be followed for that, but can see that if anyone sees you in that vein (they wouldn't if they met me, I'm really laid back) they can't get away either.

What I will say is that I don't hold back like most sheep do. I share almost whatever's on my mind and don't give a crap what anyone wants to judge it for, as we all have our private thoughts but few make them public. I also want people to see if I can they can. There's nothing much to hide, we all have the same two sets of equipment, 90% or so shared by both sexes, what on earth do people think they have to keep private? When a client (nothing giving away here) says they've got something really embarrassing to tell me, often after months of coming, it's nearly always something so everyday it almost scares me how tight we are here that something so ordinary is seen as so embarrassing. So I weigh the balance the other way, I always have, and the fact I haven't been shot yet for it means I carry on. I sometimes think some people would see some of my thoughts as making me inadequate and insecure, but if they're honest with themselves they probably have variations of them themselves. And possibly a lot worse, if giving a value. There is a process in counselling groups (which I've done and seen and is recognised) is secondary disclosure, where one person unloads a big problem, and instead of shock or support, half the group reveal similar ones once they've seen it's possible to. Anyone see what I'm doing? Besides never being scared of disclosure the only time I got caught out was talking too much at college and almost getting myself kicked out for it. I learnt then to keep quiet in front of certain authority figures, but that was all.

Well, I started off talking about how routine my life is, and how little has been worth reporting this week, and I slipped into Mike Read's inspiration of what I'd like to do, and somehow it ended up in disclosure. I only planned the first bit and the rest was organic, and though I (having been forced to examine my motives) write to entertain and unload, if even one person learns something that sets them free from a habit I'll be very happy.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Now that is what I would call a dream house! I see nothing wrong with sharing what is on your mind. Not only does it usually make you feel better to vent it also gives you the opportunity to hear other peoples opinions whether they agree with you or not.