Thursday, January 26, 2006

While I'm here

As I'm busy later in the day I used the time I do have to write my piece, and see what happens. I was woken up in a most inhumane way today when a neighbour (who has my key) barged in around 10am and woke me up to ask for my email address. It would have been hard enough to get back to sleep anyway but after he went the builders next door started drilling and only just stopped (6 hours later). I've reached a stage where whatever I do it can take me a couple of days to get over it, a symptom of the exhaustion I've had on and off for some months and wasn't helped by nights awake either from my own builders and then the ones next door. So sitting at a screen is almost all I can do at the moment.

I have now entered the world of fully since getting the digital camera and used all the features including joining pools, and discovered my main interests to take are buildings, roads and public transport. I take lots of people I know on the proper camera (when I'm with any...) as well but for 'artistic' reasons local scenes including the road signs, buses and trains have always made interesting and historical views, as each time you take a picture of a view a few years later something major or minor will be different, and without photos you'd never see London with a Routemaster bus any more (let alone a tram or trolleybus, which I remember despite going before I was 2). My Flickr site is linked from here, but I haven't seen any links from Flickr so I doubt it will bring any traffic in here.

But no way have I given up on today. Luckily I did most of my required going out already this week so am not feeling guilty on missing any jobs out. I have more work in the kitchen as the boxes seem endless, and there's other tidying to do as well if I get round to it. Not a thing on TV so no distractions there, and having this bloody tiredness for months have learnt how to do whatever it allows me to do at the time and has barely stopped me doing anything eventually even if it meant putting some things off till I could do them. The trouble is when I do something it wears me out again and it all goes back to square one. This is the third time in my life I've had this, once from overwork (not exactly the reason I don't much now, but made me cut down 'or else' at the time) and once from clearing our family house single handed after 28 years of stuff. There are plenty of reasons for this episode (as described already). Most if not all gone now, but without a few weeks with staff doing the lot for me you can't charge batteries while you're using them.

Miracles exist if you're in any situation you can't fix yourself and something does it for you. But never when you wish for it. No way. That would put us in heaven and I'm in Kingsbury where miracles are rationed and then usually very small effects. But I've learnt there are many things we can't solve ourselves. If there's a mess on the carpet I clear it up. But if there's a mess in my life there aren't the tools available. That's when and why people want miracles, and my open mindedness in the area of the supernatural is gradually closing up as I see little evidence there's any more than the given.
I'll qualify that. Within the natural includes what is called the Akashic records. I can only tell you this as I use it so have no way I can not say it's real. But unless you either see me using it or have experienced it for yourself no one can prove it to others. Secondly Skylord has shown me not only does kundalini/universal energy exist (as I've raised it using yoga) it can be sent anywhere. But I will qualify that in my case, besides feeling bloody good, it had no known healing or psychic effects.
And thirdly eveything has an aura as I've seen them. Whatever power my teacher had appeared to transfer to her students as it was effortless to see them with her but almost impossible away from her. As she's now in the US desert I think I'll have to find another source of my aura power nowadays.
And the coincidences and synchronicities now spreading to people I know is the largest mystery, and clue maybe my next theory (I hope) has a major hole in it.

So my current view of the universe is God- feh! Angels- bollocks, Miracles- where? Planning? -no, chaos. Everything is exactly how it seems except information can also be gained without looking for it if you are tuned in. This only happens rarely with most people but proves it exists but we just aren't very good at using it.
Higher energies and frequencies aren't even supernatural, bees can see auras so it's nothing very surprising if you're a bee, so really not unscientific if we can as well.

But the one potential escape route is coincidences. They are miracles, but neutral ones. They don't help, they just amaze. I don't even know if making a profit is essential for a miracle, it really needs two types, useful and useless. So what I'm discovering is useless miracles in the form of coincidences is a definite (implying a controller as things can't fall into place without conscious direction) but helpful miracles like angelic interventions haven't found their way (knowingly) into my life. The only time I remember an overlap is when I really feel worn out and something that was booked up is cancelled at the last minute. That happens a lot when I need it to, but admittedly probably does when I don't, so possibly not a certainty.

Anyway, when I wrote this I was just describing the day, and allowed me to arrange a whole theory of the universe. And people call bloggers geeks...

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